Your friends, then and now?

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by steadyshot, Feb 23, 2013.

  1. steadyshot

    steadyshot New Member

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    I am currently 42 years old. When I was young (teens and early 20's) my circle of friends was large. Seems when we are in high school and or college we make more friends than in any other time of our lives. But as I have got older my friends list has shrunk. Friends drift apart for a number of reasons. They move away, focus on career and family becomes a priority, common interests change, political views, ect, ect.

    Anyone else notice this? Or how much harder it is to find people with the same interest and become friends after about age 30?
     
  2. locutus

    locutus Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Natural phenomena.

    In HS, your friends were your social circle. Family (parents and siblings) becomes less important.

    As we age, our family, (spouse and children) and to a lesser extent coworkers become our social circle.

    When you retire, you will find that your group of friends becomes even smaller, as children move away, and even access to grandchildren is often limited.

    Your social circle is spouse, and a very small number of very close friends, at clubs or church.

    Probably why so many retired folks get heavily involved volunteer activity, and politics.

    Sad, but natural, I guess.
     

  3. kytowboater

    kytowboater Active Member

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    Does not have to be 30, I'm 24, the second one in the group of my friends to marry, start a family lalala. I however, have a career that demands a crazy amount of time. After all this began, I saw just who I could consider true friends anymore, as far as keeping some communication.

    I have done my part, be it through phone calls, text messages, social media, or house visits when I'm home. Some connections drift away, it seems to just happen. I still have a couple friends I see every time I am home, and some that I see around hunting seasons, as we get together then.

    It is hard, with us being in our young to mid 20's with jobs and some of us starting families. It will be different as I am moving towns this summer, yet only 60 some miles away, I feel it will strain what little ties I have left.
     
  4. partdeux

    partdeux Well-Known Member

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    Define "friends"
     
  5. steadyshot

    steadyshot New Member

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    I am not talking about cyber cronies or facebook friends.

    I'm talking about someone you can turn to in a crisis. Someone you trust. Someone you do things with on a regular basis. Someone you could talk to in the case of a divorce or the loss of a loved one.
     
  6. drvsafe

    drvsafe New Member

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    Today I can count my "friends" on one hand. All the rest are acquaintances and such. But true friends? One handful.
     
  7. partdeux

    partdeux Well-Known Member

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    That many? Excluding SWMBO, maybe two.
     
  8. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    8 and considering how many people I know , that's not many.!


    Define Friends:-Some one I could tell anything to or that would cover my butt in a crisis.....! :) And , they could expect the same from me......! ;)
     
  9. locutus

    locutus Well-Known Member Supporter

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    An old feller once told me that a good friend is someone that you can call on for help at any time, and he can call on you at any time, and the rest of the time you leave each other alone and mind your own damned business.

    Not saying I agree with that. But it sure made me think!:confused::confused:
     
  10. DFlynt

    DFlynt New Member

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    Using your definition I have no friends.
     
  11. purehavoc

    purehavoc New Member

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    You will know who your true friends are , they stick around and never really leave your side , you still visit and socialize, phone calls, and keep in touch about life in general, family, etc , you still have get togethers, just not as often of course . Im 40 when I was in HS and college , I had lots of friends, 20 years later , I talk to the ones I want to , My best friend still lives within minutes of me and he now works for me , we still pal around , have a beer and chat often . a few others I consider friends still chat , and shoot the sh!t every now and then but I can say I dont truly have 1/10 of the close friends I had when I was 20 yrs old. I have a family , were constantly on the go with school things, sporting events, I coach baseball the wife coaches volleyball . We are a busy family and thats just how things work out .
    You will know your true friends they are the ones you still communicate with regularly and give you a hand when ever you need it :) , Not the one that just come around when they need something
     
  12. PanBaccha

    PanBaccha New Member

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    Came from an extremely overcrowded neighborhood in New York City, which made making friends all that more easier, as when children or teenagers, who feel the natural need to do so. Gang warfare and drugs soon shrunk that list. But as I got older I found it harder to make friends, as life got more political on every level. After betrayals I sadly come to learn to 'make no friends, but be a friend to all.' And today, I am that friend to many.
     
  13. partdeux

    partdeux Well-Known Member

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    your friends didn't changed, you learned what real friends are
     
  14. drvsafe

    drvsafe New Member

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    Boom you got it.

    To me a friend is defined a few different ways. One that you can make that call when you are in deep shiz and will help you without question. And
    One that you can pick up the phone and call after not speaking for months or years and pick up the conversation as though you just spoke yesterday.
     
  15. Zombiegirl

    Zombiegirl New Member

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    I have very few "friends" and many acquaintances. Some of my friends are family and not just because they're family but because they're friends. Other than them and hubby, I would say I have 2 other people that I can truly count on no matter what.
     
  16. Axxe55

    Axxe55 The Apocalypse Is Coming.....

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    it does shrink as you get older. and sometimes simply because of our own lives and the priorities of our lives. career and family take a huge amount of time that we don't have like we did in high school. distances seperate as we move around to different locations. people change.
     
  17. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move the bodies and hide them.

    By that standard I have two true friends. No questions asked, they will do whatever I ask of them and I would do the same. Oh, except bail them out of jail. One of them called me one night from jail. I asked him why he was in and it was because of public drunkenness. I said I would pick him up when he made bail, but wouldn't bail him out. Stupid should hurt sometimes.:D He didn't blame me a bit.

    I do have many friends that I have kept in touch with over the years though and they are true friends. There for me when I am needing friends, and I do likewise. Some I don't see but once a year or sometimes longer. We make a point of getting together around Christmas because back in high school the core group would get together on Christmas Eve every year and party. After a few years and some of us starting families that has changed to just be sometime in December or January. Still do it. There have been some additions to the group and some who have moved away, but nobody is excluded in any way. Last Christmas there were 8 of us who showed up for dinner, plus one who is a cop and was on duty that night, so we had the gathering at a restaurant on his beat so he came by and had dinner too.

    My best friend these days (one of the first two I mentioned) is actually a guy I met only about 10 years ago who is almost 20 years my senior. Great guy.
     
  18. locutus

    locutus Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Better one or two real friend than dozens of "social friends.'

    I have a buddy that I served with many years ago. We exchange Christmas and birthday cards and that's about it.

    Yet if I called him today and told him that I needed to borrow a thousand dollars, and I was not at liberty to tell him why, the money would be at Western Union when I got there.

    And I would do the same for him.
     
  19. nitestalker

    nitestalker New Member

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    The facts are that if you have 3 real friends in your long life you are considered a socialite.;)
     
  20. notdku

    notdku Administrator Staff Member

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    Ron Swanson said it best "1-3 and you have a enough friends". I'm paraphrasing, but it happens to all of us.