You guys and gals with daughters (and maybe sons too)

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by F4U, Oct 6, 2013.

  1. F4U

    F4U Well-Known Member Supporter

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    My 11 year old daughter is playing volleyball for her school team this fall, this is my first time with school sports since it was me 30 plus years ago.

    There are only 9 girls on the team and the school has no bus(private school). Since I am off work with my bum shoulder I have been able to attend every game.

    Two Saturdays ago we meet at the school for an away game, we are going to follow the coach to the game. We are sitting in the parking lot and cars start rolling up and unloading girls and leaving. It turns out that I am the only parent besides the coach heading to the game. So I end up hauling 4 11-13 year old girls to the game 30 miles away. This is not a problem I have the room, I am going anyway.

    Last Saturday our game is at the YMCA we get there 45 min early as instructed and 2 of the girls are already there. The coaches are not there yet. The 2 girls were dropped off and left there by themselves.

    Am I an insane overprotective parent for wanting to know who my kid is riding with, or that there is an adult coach around before I will drop her off somewhere.

    Again I have the advantage of being off work during this so I can be there, but I just can't imagine dumping my kid off on a coach or other parent without at least a rough idea what is going on. Even if I have to get to work.

    Other parents thoughts????
     
  2. MisterMcCool

    MisterMcCool Well-Known Member Supporter

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    My wife worries about things like that. I don't. When I was a kid, I would leave the house in the morning and be home before dark. I spent days fishing, exploring, playing. Nothing bad ever happened. Nowadays little kids have cellular telephones.
     

  3. Yunus

    Yunus New Member

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    What type of situation were the girls who were left there in? Was there a staffed reception desk nearby or were they in a gym style environment with plenty of adults around?

    I would find it very questionable and probably would not leave my own children in that situation but the details would be important. Maybe they have been there countless times before and know other people who were there at the time even if they were not actively being monitored. 11-13 is 6th-8th grade I think, by 8th grade they should be that responsible.
     
  4. nitestalker

    nitestalker New Member

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    I think FU4 is making the point that parents are "Dumping" their kids. Parents expect the state to feed, educate and entertain their children. The State is happy to raise your children.
    But parents should not "*****" when little Johnny and Pretty Susie turn out to be dependent citizens of the system.:confused:
     
  5. F4U

    F4U Well-Known Member Supporter

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    So did I, But that was running around in the woods with other parents around that I knew and knew me. I am talking about dropping your kid off and hoping she gets where she needs to be and gets back in one piece without knowing how this is gonna happen.
     
  6. F4U

    F4U Well-Known Member Supporter

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    This is pretty much the situation of the second situation although I don't know if they have been there before, my daughter is in 6th grade, the youngest on the team.

    I was somewhat more concerned about the first situation where the parents have no idea who their kids are riding with or where they are going.
     
  7. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    Leave an 11 year old without seeing them in the care and custody of a responsible adult? An 11 year old girl?

    No way in HELL!

    Sorry- did not mean to yell. Do these idiots ever watch the news?
     
  8. Rick1967

    Rick1967 Well-Known Member

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    When I was about 15 I used to go camping with my friends. We did not go with parents. It was just us teenagers. We would disappear for a couple of days at a time. But this was different world back then. My wife drives my son to school every day. We live far enough that he could ride the bus for free. But she like to drive him. My wife is a little over-protective. I would trust my son to make reasonably good decisions. But I don't trust the rest of the world. He will be 15 in a few weeks. I would trust him to go to the mall with a couple of guys that we know. But not strangers. No way would I just drop him off somewhere.

    If we were talking girls...NO FREAKING WAY!!! I am not too worried about some sicko trying to rape my 15 year old 6' 3" son. Once again...daughter? NO FREAKING WAY!!!!
     
  9. shadamai

    shadamai New Member

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    I am not a parent but I was a teacher for a few years and I am an aunt. I played middle school and high school sports when I was younger as well. There is NO WAY I would leave an eleven-year-old girl at any school sponsored event unless there was an responsible, trusted adult already present to supervise. Even if your child is very responsible, there is too much that can happen that would be completely out of her control. If the school was not providing transportation, I would want to know that appropriate transportation was arranged in advance and who was driving. My middle school was likely similar to your daughter's- small private school without a bus. However, there were responsible adults present and my parents knew who was driving. There is a big difference between knowing that Coach Bob and Sally's mom will be driving on a regular basis or that a certain group of parents will be taking turns vs. knowing that 'someone' will hopefully be there to drive them or Sally's stepfather's cousin's nephew whom you have never heard of before will drive them.
     
  10. F4U

    F4U Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Me too but as you say it was a different world back then. Our back yard was against the backyards of the people on the main road. My best friend at the time lived across the street, behind his back yard there was nothing for about 5 miles but an abandoned stone quarry. We disappeared into it for as long as we could get away with. Not nearly the same as getting dumped off with no adults around.



    This is the exact situation I was talking about. I have no problem helping out, but these girls were dumped off with no idea who was going to drive them. If asked I would have volunteered, but it turned out that I was the only option. If I had dropped my daughter off as the rest of the parents had they could not have gotten to the game.

    This is something of a coaching problem, nobody is planning this stuff ahead, but you can't just dump your kids off on their own.

    Only 3 games left in the season, Monday, Thursday, and Saturday then it is not an issue any more, I just needed to know that I was not insane.

    As a quick aside I was 14 when "Star Wars" came out, my mom called my buddies mom to see if he was permitted to see a "pg" movie before she would let me go to see it. I think it was the first "pg" movie I had seen.
     
  11. partdeux

    partdeux Well-Known Member

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    I was very active in my daughters school activities. They have two levels of parent participation, one that required a general background check, and that was with supervised contact, meaning I had to be in the direct supervision of a school employee. The second higher level was fingerprint level, and that was unsupervised level.
     
  12. Rocky7

    Rocky7 New Member

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    If I saw somebody dumped their 11 yr. old daughter off in a parking lot, I believe they'd hear my voice. I can't say for certain sure, but it is likely.

    One of the greatest tragedies in life is that children cannot pick their parents.
     
  13. KJG67

    KJG67 New Member

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    And what happened to parents watching their kids play and cheering them on in sports, rather than just dumping them off? Most of the time parents are plugged into their phone or tablet from what I've seen when the do show up.

    On a side note, just got a notification today about a complaint about inappropriate contact between a teacher and student at my kid's high school. Teacher already resigned. No one named yet, but sure to be in the paper tomorrow. So you think dropping an 11 year old is safe? Nope.
     
  14. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    I think it is sad that a parent enrolls their kids in sports, and do not take the time to cheer them on. IS SPORTS THE NEW BABY SITTER?
    If I don't have time to watch, do the kids have time to play?

    I would rather have a scholastic child I have time for than a sports "baby sitted" kid.

    Now, on the sex of the child...
    If you have a boy, you watch one boy. If you have a girl, you watch all the boys.
     
  15. John_Deer

    John_Deer New Member

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    I was treated the same way as kid but those were different times. It was very seldom a car passed that we didn't know who it was by the sound of the engine. On top of that one of us was related to anyone we might encounter. We would take off on horseback through the woods without a plan. We would ride to a country store, to find friends that had something going on.

    Today the same roads can be dangerous for adults. Todays cars handle better. People drive much faster than ever. Plus many people have no respect for children and pets. The country store is run by Asians that don't care about anyones kids but their own. I am glad my children grew up before this area did.
     
  16. Doc3402

    Doc3402 New Member

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    If you think for a minute that I would let my granddaughter get in a car with you, or any other person not known to me or her mother, you are out of your mind. By the same token, you opened yourself up to all sorts of possible trouble by transporting these females without having an adult witness known to you along for the ride.

    Their children are not your responsibility.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2013
  17. jgoertz

    jgoertz New Member

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    ^^^^agree^^^^^
    Absolute, irresponsible stupidity
     
  18. fupuk

    fupuk New Member

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    My daughters are only three right now, but I personaly dont even like my 9yo son to go to the restroom by himself at a restaurant. Not because I dont trust him, because I dont trust anyone else. Im only 25 and when I was a kid my parents let me do as I wanted within reason and they made me call them when I got to my destination. And I had to call and ask to go anywhere else. I personally couldn't do that to one of my children.
     
  19. F4U

    F4U Well-Known Member Supporter

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    That was what I was asking, I wouldn't either. My Dad was with me and my daughter too. This is the only game my ex wasn't able to attend, I found out she ended up transporting part of the team a couple of times too.

    As for being there I have been to all of them, my ex missed 1, and even my mother has been to all but one of them. Some of the parents I have never seen, a couple of mothers have been almost all them. One father makes all of the Sat games and some of the later weeknight games. I don't get not being there to cheer them on.
     
  20. Doc3402

    Doc3402 New Member

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    You bring an interesting story to mind. I've known this guy for years. Seemed like a nice guy. He was a little lax in his work habits, but find a workplace that doesn't have someone like that. Staunch supporter of Rush and the Republican Party. Hated Obama with a passion. In other words, except for Rush, we had a lot in common. We never became close friends outside his workplace, but I always made it a point to talk to him. He got arrested last week. He was arrested for 50 counts of possession of child pornography. The local SO and the FBI were in on the investigation and arrest.

    Realistically, he was never in a position to have unaccompanied access to my granddaughter, but when I told my daughter about the arrest her first words were, "You're kidding me. I never would have thought that of him." That concerned me, but she reassured me that the only male that would ever have unaccompanied access to her daughter is the sperm donor, and even he wouldn't have it if it wasn't for the court order.