"You actually believed me?"

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by skullcrusher, Aug 9, 2009.

  1. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    I once told ex-Mrs. skullcrusher that the stop signs with a white border are optional when she got on me for rolling thru a stop sign. "If no one else is around, you don't need to make a full stop. You don't remember that from driver's ed?"

    The next day, she was out with her father. He asked me if I told her that they were optional? "Yes, she did not need to tell me I rolled thru one. I was driving, I knew what I was doing." He laughed so hard when he told me that she was driving and rolled thru one, so he said something to her. She said, "Optional, it has the white border."

    I said to her, "You actually believed me when I said that the stop signs with a white border are optional?"

    Now, give up your stories of "You actually believed me when I said..."
     
  2. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    I unintentionally convinced a friend that the white cheese dip at a local Tex-Mex place was made with Chihuahua cheese (true) and that Chihuahua cheese is made from the milk of Chihuahua dogs milked by children (smaller fingers).
     

  3. gorknoids

    gorknoids New Member

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  4. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    Took the kids, ages 4 & 6, on their first trip to the beach. Virginia Beach. Standing on the sand, with them looking at the ocean, they asked what was "over there"?

    Explained that their Mom was from England, England was on the other side of the ocean, and if you looked REALLY REALLY hard, right over there.....

    WHACK!:rolleyes:
     
  5. boatme98

    boatme98 New Member

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    .....I'd respect you in the morning? I didn't respect you last night!
     
  6. user4

    user4 New Member

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    Back when I was fighting forest fires, we got these three inner city kids from East Lansing, MI to come work with us on some special program. They had never been in the forests in their lives and one of them was complaining about the flies that seemed to be bother flying around his head. I asked him, "did you freeze your head at all today?" He was like wtf? So I said, the secret to keeping the flies off your head was to stick you head in the freezer for about 5 minutes and the freon would keep the flies away. He looked at me all dubious, and then I pointed out the other guys in the dorm who were with me...the flies weren't bothering them.

    He agreed and proceeded to stick his head in the freezer. meanwhile I was getting anyone and everyone still in the dorms to peak through the window and watch him. One of his inner city buddies saw him with his head in the freezer and asks him "What the hell are you doing?" He replies, "I'm freezing my head to keep the flies away." The friend looked over at the group of us at the window covering our mouths and laughing, and he says, "I got next."
     
  7. WDB

    WDB New Member

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    I asked a girlfriend if she knew why the telephone in a hotel room had that red light that blinks when the phone rings? She said it was so you could find the phone in the dark (not a bad answer). I explained that it was for deaf people, that way they knew they had an incomming call. I never set her right and enjoyed it when she told a few people about it. Imagine if that was the purpose...after seeing the light and anwsering the phone what would a deaf person do?
     
  8. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    That's a good one. I guess she never got a message...
     
  9. Troy Michalik

    Troy Michalik Is it Friday yet? Supporter

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    They would put the handset on their TTY and have a conversation just like they do at home.
     
  10. suprdave

    suprdave New Member

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    A few years back, I let a really loud fart rip in the living room. My girls were in their rooms playing dolls, or whatever in the hell girls do. They came running in the living room and asked what that sound was, and I told them it was a barking spider. We moved about four years ago, and they asked me if the new house was infested with barking spiders. They actually believed that for almost five years!
     
  11. Jo da Plumbr

    Jo da Plumbr New Member

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    I was on a road trip with the GF a few years ago and stayed over in an area that had a lot of cattle farms. Bad smell. So the next morning I bought a cherry scented air freshener and put it in the car under the dash where the air duct is. Later that morning she comments on the cherry smell, I told her there must be a cherry orchard nearby. She agreed that must be it. Later in the day we had driven out of the farming area and were up in the forest. Again she gets a whiff of the cherry and makes a comment. I told her it must be the cherry wood pine trees we were driving through. She said she had never heard of cherry wood pines. I pointed at a tree near the side of the road and said, “That’s one right there” That afternoon as we were driving by a lake she again says she smells cherry. I said it must be something they put in the water. Either that or it’s from the air freshener I bought this morning.

    It took several days for the bruise where she punched me to fade away.:D
     
  12. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    When I was in college I knew a girl who was from DC I think. Anyway, someone brought up cow tipping. She knew I was from the country and later asked me about it. I told her you NEVER want to go cow tipping. It hurts the cow!! That's right...when they fall over it can break bones and sometime result in the cow being put down. She was amazed that people would do such a thing. I told her it doesn't often happen but it can. It was clear to me that she didn't know cows sleep laying down.
    I never told her any different so as far as I know she still thinks you can hurt a cow by tipping it.
     
  13. MemphisJim1

    MemphisJim1 New Member

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    In the mid-80s I was with some people in Chicago for a trade show. One night four of us decided to take in a Black Hawks game. One of the guys had never been to a hockey game. After we entered the arena we went straight to a refreshment stand to get beer and brats. While waiting in line I explained the new arena policy to him: "Black Hawks management has decided to limit sales of alcoholic beverages during the game; you can only buy them at the refreshment stands before the game and between 1st and 2d periods...too many near-riots caused by drunken fans. Better take in what you think you'll need for 1st period." The other two guys immediately joined in with the same advice. "And when you get 'em, just pass one to each of us to carry in for you so the guy at the stand won't hassle you." He did as instructed and we carried them in for him with almost straight faces. He was only mildly ticked when the beer hawkers hit the stands right after the period started and he saw each us enjoying one of "his" beers. And each of us bought him a beer during the game so it all worked out.
     
  14. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    Well. long time back, was working as LEO assigned to security for governor of VA. Was taking young lady from the Gov's office out to the State Fair for an official event. We were waiting at the stoplight at the monument to Gen. A.P. Hill. Young lady looked at the statue, read the name on it out loud- A P Hill, and she asked "who was that?"

    With a straight face, replied that I was surprised that she did not know- he was a very famous man in Virginia history. When Virginia was first settled, Jamestown and surrounding areas were low, swampy areas, lot of mosquitoes, Yellow Fever, lot of disease, VERY unhealthy- but that gentleman discovered the first high ground in Virginia. And in honor of him all the high ground in Virginia was named after him.

    Took four blocks before it sunk in........:rolleyes:

    And there was the time we took our 10 yr old neighbor along to collect Running Cedar for Christmas decorations, and made sure he had his sneakers on so he could help us catch it.........
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2009
  15. yesicarry

    yesicarry New Member

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    Picture this... My Step-Mother out in the bushes with a flashlight and a pillowcase "Snipe-Hunting"... Still laugh to this day...
     
  16. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Snipe hunting (snipe is a real bird, btw) and cow tipping are a couple of the classics. :D
     
  17. WDB

    WDB New Member

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    Wow you sucked the fun right out of that:p
     
  18. Hey-you-guys

    Hey-you-guys New Member

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    One guy told me a story of a girl he was driving around that was from out of state. She decided to visit here in Texas at the same time we were having the annual Trail Ride, where people ride horses and wagons over 100 miles and in through Houston. So they designate a lane on one of our main drags for the trail riders. She says "why is this lane closed to everyone except these horses?" and my friend told her "that's the horse lane, everyone rides a horse in Texas." So she went back home to wherever she was from and told everyone that Houston has a designated horse lane. Also, me and two other guys drove the work van to McDonald's for lunch. In one of the parking spaces there was a big solid red square painted in the middle of it, kind of like the big handicap symbol. He asked me "what does this red square mean, am I allowed to park here?" I told him the red square meant that particular space was reserved for menstruating women. He looked at me and said "what the hell?" and started to back out of the space. I told him I was kidding immediately as I did not want to lose our parking spot. And a long time ago my buddy was at the bayou and he told this dumb guy we knew that if he rode his bicycle really fast down the side of the bayou that he would skim across to the other side. No, he did not make it across, haha.
     
  19. M14sRock

    M14sRock New Member

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    On a drive through the California wine country many years ago, there were signs for roadside stands selling beef jerky, raisins, fruit, etc. all along the way.

    My starter wife casually asked me as we drove past one vineyard if those were "raisin bushes" along the side of the road, to which I replied "Yes". Several years later I discovered that she was serious.

    On another trip, the same wife asked me if we could stop and hunt some Jackelopes while driving through Wyoming once, too. I guess I was pretty convincing when explaining to her that the Jackelopes hanging on the wall in a gun store were real. She was devastated when I told her I had been joking about them. She had been looking forward to seeing them "running all over Wyoming".