What Would You Want Said At Your Funeral?

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Vikingdad, May 4, 2012.

  1. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    Recent events have gotten me to thinking and C3's post on the joke thread prompted me to ask this question.

    Most of us have been to a few funerals. The most awkward part in nearly every one I have been to has been when the people attending are asked to share their memories and few people do. I feel awkward because I do not take the time to think about what to say when that moment comes and nobody is standing up and speaking. This most recently happened just a couple of months ago and I was sitting there trying to get myself to stand up and speak but the words just would not come. I have resolved to not let that happen again.

    So anyhow, one time when I did find the words was at my mother-in-law's funeral. Old Doris loved me like a son, up until her daughter chose to visit me rather than do some menial task for her not too very long after we had started dating. Now, I had been working for their family business for 10 years before my wife and I began dating, so there was some history there. But after that time when my wife came to visit me Doris started hating on me. I never let it get to me (and man-o-man I could tell you some hating mother-in-law stories!) and towards the end she sort of came out of it and started regretting things. At any rate, when the funeral director asked if anyone wanted to say anything I stood right up and said the following (condensed and paraphrased).

    "When I was 13 I started working for the family and Doris treated me like a son. After a couple of years I would tend the business during the week when things were painfully slow. Sometimes we would get one customer in a day. Now Doris was known as a great cook, particularly in regards to baking and sweets. Doris knew I was bored and lonely on those days, so she would come by with hot chocolate chip cookies and a few Playboy magazines. She knew what a teenage boy liked. Food and girls, not in that particular order."

    I like to think that what I said loosened things up, whether that is true or not, people opened up and spoke for quite some time.

    OK, now what would you like to hear at your own funeral? My mother was horrified at what I said at my mother-in-law's funeral, yet Doris was laughing from above.

    Maybe a better way for me to end this would be to ask everybody to think of what to say when that moment comes when you are at a funeral or memorial service. Don't say anything upsetting to anybody and don't be to long-winded. But do come up with something to say. It will help the survivors to know that their departed one was loved, was appreciated and did matter. Silence says the opposite.
     
  2. Mason609

    Mason609 New Member

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    Well, when my day comes, I don't really know what I'd want to hear.

    Honestly, though, if they just tell their fondest memory of me, I'll be happy with that. Though, it's not really something I want to think about, I've dealt with death enough... think of my end kinda sucks.
     

  3. AcidFlashGordon

    AcidFlashGordon New Member

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    No friends or family. And there won't be one. My old arse will be tossed in a dewar and frozen. Member of the Alcor Foundation.
     
  4. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    What would I like to hear?

    "OMIGOD! He's breathing! Someone get a doctor over here!!!" :p
     
  5. LONGHAIR

    LONGHAIR New Member

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    I been to a few outlaw-biker funerals and they put joints and small bottles of jack on the guys chest...By the time it was over it looked like a drug-store in the coffin...I guess the family keeps all the stuff ???...Wedding are something else to...Bikes lined-up and they walk down the middle of them just-like the movies ...and everybody is drinking at both funerals and weddings...Kinda crazy to see,only been to a few but I won't ever forget them.....
     
  6. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    What would I like them to say or what they are probably going to say? :eek:
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2012
  7. rigjumpr

    rigjumpr New Member

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    we told him that 21 year old would kill him but damn doesen't he look happy from the back graoud who's getting all of his guns?
     
  8. vincent

    vincent New Member

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    My eulogy will be short and sweet...exactly like this...:D

    [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxvdvoQgAy8[/ame]
     
  9. Trez

    Trez Well-Known Member

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    Funeral?
    I wanna be one of those old guys who wander out in the wilderness and are never seen again...
     
  10. BenLuby

    BenLuby New Member

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    That is great!!! I'd like to hear that too, but mine will be more like "line forms to the rear to pizz on his grave. Yes, we've verified three times he's dead. No, you can't shoot his body to make certain!"
     
  11. jordan89

    jordan89 New Member

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    That would be pretty awesome.

    I'm giving my body to science. I'm sure there will still be a memorial service...but I could really care less what is said. Hopefully some nice things....but i'll be to dead to care.
     
  12. Ranger-6

    Ranger-6 New Member

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    Lend an eye as you pass by,
    As you are so once was I.
    As I am so shall you be,
    Prepare your heart to follow me.
     
  13. AZL

    AZL New Member

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    "Damn...it ain't often you see a 90 year old man shot in the back by a jealous boyfriend for banging an 18 year old cheerleader"
     
  14. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    I hope there is so much smoke at mine that the fire department shows up.



    There is always that one necrophiliac eyeballing the corpse. :rolleyes:
     
  15. Ranger-6

    Ranger-6 New Member

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    Maybe:

    Do unto others as they do unto you.
    Do unto others before they do unto you.
    Do unto others just for the fun of doing it.
     
  16. notdku

    notdku Administrator Staff Member

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    "I'm not saying I'm glad he's gone, I'm just saying the only people crying are the ones he owed money to".
     
  17. gunguy1997

    gunguy1997 New Member

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    did you see that stunt he pulled?!?! his last words..... hold my beer and watch this.
     
  18. masterPsmith

    masterPsmith New Member

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    No service, no words !!

    Jim.........
     
  19. Chainfire

    Chainfire Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I don't think I will give a damn what is said, or is left unsaid by anyone other than my family. The only people I ever have to impress is my wife and kids, so what they have to say will be what is important.
     
  20. texaswoodworker

    texaswoodworker New Member

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    "At least he died with his boots on"