What to do on a plane if the passenger next to you is irritating:

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by wsearfoss, Aug 4, 2009.

  1. wsearfoss

    wsearfoss New Member

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    What to do on a plane if the passenger next to you is irritating:

    1- Remove your lap top from its bag
    2- Open the laptop slowly and carefully
    3- Turn on
    4- Ensure the passenger next to you is watching
    5- Turn on the Internet
    6- Close your eyes for a brief moment, open them again, turn your
    gaze upwards to the skies as if in prayer
    7- Take a deep breath and open this site

    The End!!!!

    8-Observe the facial expression of your neighboring passenger:D
     
  2. matt g

    matt g New Member Supporter

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    Gay porn and a coat over my lap usually causes them to ask to be seated some place else.
     

  3. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    That link is nice, though.

    I could fart potently enough to make them leave to be ill. I'm not sure the collateral damage to my other neighbors would be justified.

    I don't fly anymore & miss the Amtrak of the 80's.
     
  4. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    How's this. Start talking non-stop about how you get motion sickness easily. Grab the barf bag and open it. Say things like, "I should not have had that 3 alarm chilli for breakfast. I'm gonna puke the whole trip. Do you have any breath fresheners? If I pass out and puke on you, I'm sorry. I can't believe this is going to happen again. Just like last time. You don't have a squeemish stomach, do you? I can't sit on the aisle, that makes it worse. Oh god, I can't stand it. I hope my puke does not stink as bad as my last trip. Can you hold the bag for me?"
     
  5. cpttango30

    cpttango30 New Member

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    I normally just say "OH HOLLY CRAP LOOK AT THAT THE ENGINE IS LOOSE".

    The last few times I have flown has been ok for sitting next to people.
     
  6. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Good one! Try this next time, "There's a creature on the wing!" Sweating profusely will help the situation.
     
  7. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    John Lithgow FTW!
     
  8. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    William Shatner (the original B&W version) for the coup de gras!
     
  9. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    Can't top Shatner, unless you are a wig. :D
     
  10. Yunus

    Yunus New Member

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    I think I would go with the offensive porn or the ranting about parts falling off the plane. That website might get your *** handed to you by fellow passengers.
     
  11. Shotgun Shooter

    Shotgun Shooter New Member

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    LOLOLOL.
    That was pretty funny. I only listened to like 2 seconds, but it was a hilarious 2 seconds. If only it was as funny as the first time I had sex.

    S.S.
     
  12. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    Just knock the clown out and cover him with a blanket and tell the flight attendant he gave specific instructions that he did not want to be disturbed. :eek:

    Jack
     
  13. ktmboyz

    ktmboyz New Member

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    What works for me on a plane or anywhere else is I just start talking every time they start to say something and be sure to change the subject. Have to be quick though so they get really frustrated and can't get a word out. If they start to talk louder than be sure to talk over them. Mindless babble works the best so they almost think your crazy. :D It is sure to cease all conversation rather quickly :cool:
     
  14. stalkingbear

    stalkingbear Well-Known Member

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    I got news for yall. I couldn't sleep 1 night about 3 years ago and was watching the boob tube. What did I see? Shatner was actually advertising for peta!!!!!!!:mad: I havn't let my wife watch star trek since.

    Yes I'm positive it was him, also it was a peta commerical-I'd stake my life on it. Only saw it that 1 time and not since but that was enough for him to be put on my permanent s*itlist!




     
  15. Mark F

    Mark F New Member Supporter

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    Someone on the plane annoying you? Just start farting...
     
  16. mrm14

    mrm14 Active Member

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    Breaking wind works for me as well in these situations also. Usually clears quite a large area quickly. If they cant leave area they will usually shut their pie hole so as to not taste the stench of it.
     
  17. Shotgun Shooter

    Shotgun Shooter New Member

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    Stick your finger in your ear and wipe it on the arm rest.

    S.S.