What the he!! do you say??

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by F4U, Aug 6, 2013.

  1. F4U

    F4U Well-Known Member Supporter

    Called one of my best friends last Saturday to see if he had to work this weekend. We have drug each other to gun shows, car shows, swap meets, and every home or outbuilding project that got us in over our heads for the last 30 years.

    We are putting a pole building up at my dads and that call was for help setting trusses. Again we have been doing this for 30 years and I at least have no clue who owes who a favor at this point, and I doubt he has any Idea either.

    The conversation went like this: Are you working next weekend?

    " I don't know, mom called last night she has been diagnosed with an extremely rare and extremely aggressive form of leukemia and has between 2 days and 2 weeks to live.

    Holy Sh!t. What the hell do you say?

    Besides " Anything you need I am here" I mean it absolutely, but it sounds so inadequate for a friend this close.
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2013
  2. texaswoodworker

    texaswoodworker New Member

    Um, there's not really much you can say. I guess all you can do is be there for him.

    Very sad. :( My condolences to you, your friend, and his family/friends. Prayers inbound.

  3. JW357

    JW357 New Member

    Pretty awful. I'm sorry. All you can do is comfort you friend and be there as much as possible.
  4. Doc3402

    Doc3402 New Member

    You don't "say" you do. Get your a$$ over there and help him do whatever it is that needs to be done. Clean the freakin' windows if that's what it will take to be there for him. Do food runs, answer the phone, or just listen. Whatever it takes to ease the load.
  5. primer1

    primer1 Well-Known Member Supporter

    Cook a meal for him and the family. Ask for particular errands you can do for him.
  6. Rick1967

    Rick1967 Well-Known Member

    I agree with everyone else here. My good friend died a few months ago. While he was in the hospital his wife was with him. One night I dropped off a bucket of fried chicken. It was only like $12. But they acted like I just bought them a new car.

    My grandmother died from leukemia several years back. My mom brought her to live with her for the last bit of time. She lasted about a month I think. It was very difficult. Just try to be there for your friend. Do whatever you can.
  7. therewolf

    therewolf New Member

    This is the best time to be the best best friend

    you've ever been. It will mean a lot him that you are

    there for him now. And my condolences. Our prayers

    are with you, and him. We have a friend who's mother

    is terminal with cancer, sometimes she just needs someone to

    talk to, and vent.
  8. rockratt

    rockratt Active Member Lifetime Supporter

    My friend lost his dad a couple years ago from pancreatic cancer. I told him" I don't know what to say". Just listen.It turned out for us to be the thing to do because he would let me know what I needed to do. Sorry and wish you guy's the best.
  9. Argyle_Armoring

    Argyle_Armoring New Member

    I would've said, "Tell her to be a woman. Take some Pepto Bismol and walk it off." But then outloud I would've said, "I'm sorry to hear that man. Let me know if you guys need anything."
  10. buckhuntr

    buckhuntr Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    That's a tough one, and a situation I've experienced from both sides of the aisle, so to speak. "I'm here if you need anything" is the best I can come up with, and asking for specific needs.

    When my Dad went into the hospital with aggressive pancreatic cancer, within a couple of days we (my sisters and I) realized that he likely would not leave alive. It took a week, and what did NOT help was people wanting to pray with him (he was not religious and had a dim view of preachers in general) and spoke hollow words more for the comfort of the speaker than for Dad or us. The neighbors who watched the house while empty, the friends and family who spent the night in the ICU waiting area, everybody who spelled us so we could get some sleep in the round-the-clock bedside vigil, the folks who took us out to eat or made food runs, THOSE things helped.
  11. NC1760

    NC1760 New Member

    Be there....

    Help him in any way you can... even if he doesn't ask. Any day to day thing you can do for him (Walking a pet... watching the house.. rides anywhere... get his mail in.. etc. etc.) so they don't feel so overwhelmed. Most of all, be there. Help him mark the moment.... and when you can, help them remember the good memories.
  12. TheDesertFox

    TheDesertFox New Member

    Whoa. Thats a tough phone call. I'll be prayin'. Good luck to your buddy and yourself.
  13. F4U

    F4U Well-Known Member Supporter

    His mother lasted exactly a week to the day. This all occurred 100 miles away where she was living with one of her daughters. The next door neighbors are taking care of the dogs, no one home to take food to. I have been driving past his place on my way to and from work ( only about 10 minutes out of the way) to make sure everything is all right.

    Thanks for the prayers and advice both are much appreciated. He is much more religious than I am and would be truly touched by the support he doesn't know he is getting.