What "offends" you? (humorous posts only please)

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Balota, Dec 9, 2015.

  1. Balota

    Balota ... but I used to play keyboards.

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    OK, here are the ground rules:
    1. The purpose of this thread is good-natured humor. We don't want to know what soapbox you really want to stand on. Think of things everyone would like and explain how that offends you.
    2. If a post here actually offends you, find a different thread to read.
    3. If you know someone elses hot button, find a different thread to push it.
    4. Green font is assumed on for all posts, so, for the sake of these old eyes, please don't actually use the bright green font...

    I'll start:

    Cars with clean, shiny, paint jobs offend me. When I'm walking into work in the morning, the sun is in my eyes. So I pull my ball cap down to block the sun. Then I walk past a clean shiny car and WHAM the sun reflects off the car and blinds me.
     
  2. Certifiable

    Certifiable Member Supporter

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    That sucks, cuz I like to keep my truck lookin' like a dark mirror.

    What offends me is when deer choose to cross the road outside of the clearly marked "Deer X-ing" areas. Those stupid animals should get a ticket. Of course, they're not likely to be able to pay more than a buck.
     

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    Last edited: Dec 10, 2015

  3. Balota

    Balota ... but I used to play keyboards.

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    See? Sunlight reflecting off a shiny paint job. That offends me...
     
  4. Certifiable

    Certifiable Member Supporter

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    There should be a button somewhere on your monitor (PC users) or function key combo (laptops) that allows you to turn down the brightness...

    Or just pop up some shades... :cool:
     
  5. primer1

    primer1 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    People that complain of gas pains. It should be acceptable in society to let er rip.


    OK, at least hold it through the prayer.
     
  6. indy36

    indy36 New Member

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    Walking into a gas station only to be blasted by the overwhelming smell of incense. That and seeing bongs, crack pipes, and one-hitters for sale on the counter.

    Those things offend me.
     
  7. Balota

    Balota ... but I used to play keyboards.

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    Indy, Refer to Rule 1 in the OP. Humorous topics please. We also have a Pet Peeves thread for real issues.
     
  8. primer1

    primer1 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Oops, I was serious about mine too. :)
     
  9. harkersislandnc

    harkersislandnc Active Member

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    When my pugs farting wakes me from a deep slumber and I have to crack a window.
     
  10. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    People who say 'excuse me' when they expel gas in any form. And you know who you are.............

    Unless it is the gas of decomposition after you die. THEN you should excuse yourself.
     
  11. Mercator

    Mercator Active Member

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    Yoga pants without a license.
     
  12. Certifiable

    Certifiable Member Supporter

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    The Easter Bunny offends me. This stupid rabbit hops around laying eggs with no regard for the baby bunnies abandoned to the ravages of a horde of basket-wielding 6-year olds. Even the eggs that manage to escape are found within a couple months and summarily discarded. And yet, none of those tree-hugging, overweight hippies wearing skinny-jeans with a "Coexist" sticker on the bumper of their Prius protest such gross negligence. Oh no, they're too busy protesting the color of their Starbucks cup.

    This Easter, stop this gross negligence and join me in eating that cruel rabbit!

    http://allrecipes.com/recipe/25843/hasenpfeffer-rabbit-stew/
     
  13. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    You can't eat them all. They breed like rabbits.
     
  14. Certifiable

    Certifiable Member Supporter

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  15. AmPaTerry

    AmPaTerry Forum Chaplain Lifetime Supporter

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    I have always found Intolerance to be offensive.

    I mean, ANY kind of intolerance just BUGS the DEVIL out of me!!

    When someone is intolerant, I just want to SMACK them one in the chops!!!
     
  16. JTJ

    JTJ Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Baggers at the super market asking if I need help out to the car. I know they are being polite and I know I am old but dont rub it in.
     
  17. locutus

    locutus Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Attractive young women calling me "Mister.":D:D
     
  18. indy36

    indy36 New Member

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    What "offends" you? (humorous posts only please)

    Being called 'pervy' by my wife after saying "Mmmmm!" when I noticed Selena Gomez on TV. Is it a crime to find women attractive? She's 23 not 12.
     
  19. indy36

    indy36 New Member

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    People working a cash register at a fast food place that ask "For here, or to go?" that seem utterly stupefied when I say, "I'll take it with me". It's as if they don't know what to do. Like I just spoke a foreign language. Until I clarify "To go" they just stand there.
     
  20. Mercator

    Mercator Active Member

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    Is "sir" okay? Ending every sentence? :)

    Worry when they start calling you 'sweetie". That means real old :D