We are moving to Mexico

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by IGETEVEN, Aug 18, 2009.

  1. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    Dear Mr. President, Senate and House of Representatives:

    I'm planning to move my family and extended family (18-20 mouths)
    into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

    We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S.
    into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

    We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports,
    immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things
    the same way you do here.

    So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on
    my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

    1. Free medical care for my entire family.

    2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might
    need, whether I use them or not.

    3. All Mexico government forms need to also be printed in English.

    4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking
    (bi-lingual) teachers.

    5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

    6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at
    their school.

    7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

    8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access
    to government services.

    9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan to
    purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to
    learn local traffic laws.

    10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from
    their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car
    has at least one English-speaking officer.

    11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U.S. flag decals
    on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any
    complaints or negative comments from the locals.

    12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or
    have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

    13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely
    nice and never say a critical things about me or my family, or about the
    strain we might place on their economy.

    14. Please start putting up billboards in English that advertise for government jobs.

    15. Be sure to add a "press 1 for English" option on all of their phone services.

    16. If the occasion arises that I ever get caught doing anything illegal, I cannot be deported even though I'm not a citizen.



    I know these would be an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.


    Thank you so much for your kind help.


    Sincerely,

    Jack Schitt

    US Citizen & Taxpayer
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2009
  2. dunerunner

    dunerunner New Member

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    Funny and sad at the same friggin' time EVEN!!
     

  3. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    I didn't know you're last name was Schitt.
     
  4. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    Ahhhhh......yes, it is a family traditional name. I will cover my family's namesake and family tree in another thread, it is quite extensive. ;)

    Jack
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2009
  5. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    so if I called you Schitt head, it wouldn't be offensive?
     
  6. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    "Mr. Schitt head" to your sir, you are younger than I and you do respect your elders and veterans, from what I have seen in your posts.

    Now....You do know the saying, "When schitt hits the fan" you need to step back, because that's me!! ;) :p :)

    Jack
     
  7. OC357

    OC357 New Member

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    Oh boy.....free beans.....can I go too??? Do I have to change my last name from GetWood to Schitt or what???

    OC
     
  8. Gojubrian

    Gojubrian New Member

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    That's good stuff.
     
  9. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    Well, friggin' ole!
     
  10. notdku

    notdku Administrator Staff Member

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    Add to that if I ever get caught doing anything illegal I cannot be deported even though I'm not a citizen.
     
  11. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    Requested, accepted and accomplished, Sir! :D

    Jack
     
  12. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    Very funny! I really do wish all the illegal immigrants would just leave. I'd prefer to admire their culture from afar.
     
  13. layton

    layton New Member

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    Someone must have leaked the info, now we know why the Mexican Army went on full alert, and of course you do know no *******s are allowed to go to Mexico dont you, travel is only allowed one way.

    Layton
     
  14. WDB

    WDB New Member

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    Perfect!

    You could add playing loud country music in my car or in my yard 27/7 with out getting complaints.
     
  15. Texanbybirth

    Texanbybirth New Member

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    Senor Caca - That was depressing and funny at the same time.
     
  16. OC357

    OC357 New Member

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    I'm gettin my hand stamped so I can go back and forth.....:D

    OC
     
  17. layton

    layton New Member

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    Hand stamp is out now, electronic chip is in now:D


    Layton