This Morning Excitement

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Car54, May 4, 2011.

  1. Car54

    Car54 New Member

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    This morning, arriving home from my radiation session, I kick my sandals off in the garage, enter the kitchen, put a cinnamon raisin bagel in the toaster, go into the den, turn on the computer, go to the FTF site, go back and get my bagel, then sit at the computer perusing the latest gossip and news.

    A few minutes later my wife yells for me to come here quick. She's by the sliding doors to the pool and the last time she did that there was a water moccasin in the cage area. Anyway, she says there's a woman screaming down the street so I go out on the lanai and I hear 2 women screaming. I can't see down the street because of a large P.U. truck that parks in the driveway behind my house so I walk towards the sidewalk, just shorts and a t-shirt on, no shoes/sandals, (it's almost 80) and armed with the bottom half of the raisin bagel I hadn't eaten yet. I'm thinking "why do I have this with me?

    I get to the sidewalk and see a sheriff car and the women are still screaming. I hear one yell get back and I see a guy move toward the sidewalk, then I see a female deputy wrestling with our local criminal on the ground. A woman (momma) is standing over her screaming, and the kids Dad is standing in the driveway. I begin running towards the deputy (shoving the bagel into my right front pocket) to give her a hand with the criminal but just as I get up there she gets him cuffed and brings out her taser.

    The kids brother who had started walking away turns and comes at me yelling for me to get out of here, you have no business here and you aren't wanted. Now I'm thinking, we are going to start dancing here in a moment and I'm thinking it wasn't too smart to leave the house with just a half of a bagel. What happened next was the Dad had recognized me and told his older son to back off and shut up and let me be. Momma had slowed her screaming and was pleading for her criminal son to stop fighting and be nice and listen to the police.

    As the Dad turned towards me I saw blood coming from below his right eye and I got closer I could see a pretty good cut. I asked him if he was okay and I asked the deputy if she was okay. Both said they were, and the Dad looked at me and said "he was beating me" and then he raised one side of his shorts and showed a good sized bruise and abrasion on his upper thigh saying " he did this", and then pointing to his nice new Excursion he pointed out a fresh large dent on the front fender where his kid had kicked it during the fight.

    The sheriff helicopter was flying overhead, and several minutes later another deputy arrived and they put criminal kid into the car.

    After leaving and walking back home, I was thinking about the Dad. When I was talking to him there was a cumulative of things going on, he was surprised, but angry because his kid was beating him, he was embarrassed because it was out in the open, and ashamed because his pride as a "man" was damaged. I really feel bad for him, but maybe now he'll boot the little thieving, wanna be gang banger out (he's 20) out to the street.

    Now there could be two morals (or more if you care to add some) to this story, 1: don't come running when your wife calls, or 2: if you do go see what she wants, put the bagel down first.
     
  2. rjd3282

    rjd3282 New Member

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    I can hear you now.............Stand back I've got a bagel and I know how to use it. :D
     

  3. Car54

    Car54 New Member

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    Or, "don't make me use it"

    I like your response. That's funny.
     
  4. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    Dry bagel? or did you butter your pocket?

    Had you told us the deputy almost tazed you after mistaking the bagel edging out of your pocket for a pistol's grip, i would be sitting in a puddle of my own urine trying desperately to catch my wheezing breath. :)

    Dog's usually make themselves available for such occasions, perhaps this could be an excuse to get a new puppy.
     
  5. rjd3282

    rjd3282 New Member

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    That story made me laugh. Reminded me of some wierd absurd dream where you are asking yourself why am I holding this bagel?
     
  6. dnthmn2004

    dnthmn2004 New Member

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    The moral of the story is... OMG YOU CHANGED YOUR AVATAR!!!:eek:

    Ask the wife for information before you coming running. That would have warranted a can of pepper spray in the pocket and go do your civil duty.
     
  7. dunerunner

    dunerunner New Member

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    I was riveted at the thought of a bagel attack!! :D
     
  8. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    Did the bagel have a high-cap mag?
     
  9. Car54

    Car54 New Member

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    Dry bagel fortunately, I'm trying to watch my weight, lol.

    Once I saw her with the cuffs on the guy, I stood back and didn't crowd her, figuring she'd be ready to light anyone up that came near her after the tussle.
     
  10. Car54

    Car54 New Member

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    Yep, sometimes I just don't think straight.
     
  11. Car54

    Car54 New Member

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    Nope, those were banned just after the 11/08 election.

    How are you feeling? Good to see you back online.
     
  12. falseharmonix

    falseharmonix New Member

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    Or at the very least, a jalapeno bagel :cool:
     
  13. Yunus

    Yunus New Member

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    You could use each bagel half like a throwing star and take out 2 bad guys at once. :rolleyes:
     
  14. mesinge2

    mesinge2 New Member

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    It had to be, just think how many rasins are in that bagel. :D
     
  15. jca1

    jca1 New Member

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    "Where did that phase even come from anyway, it's so goofy?"

    "I don't know, some dude in shorts beat some dude with a bagel or something like that...so now we just say someone got bageled when a older half dressed guy beats you up.....learn to fight and shut up already, before I sandwich you, punk!"
     
  16. Car54

    Car54 New Member

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    But I had already eaten the top half before going outside.
     
  17. armoredman

    armoredman Member

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    Well, if it was an onion bagel your breath would now be a deadly weapon.
     
  18. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    What caliber where the raisins?

    Thank you for being a good neighbor and going to see if you could help.
     
  19. oneshot

    oneshot New Member

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    At the very least would could have used the pepper spray to season your bagel