Things you Dad told you

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by MobileMarine, Oct 5, 2011.

  1. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    All of the memorable quotes and bits of advice and words of wisdom our dads told us growing up .

    Son.. you could destroy a cast iron fire hydrant with a rubber hammer

    You could be the single most destructive asset to our military if you joined

    You could tear up a bulldozer in a rubber room

    You could sink a aircraft carrier with your bare hands

    You better not drink to night .. in fact I should whip your *** before hand just so you don't . '' than one worked often ''

    You would make Mario Andretti proud

    You burn up more tires than Richard Petty

    There is not a vehicle in the world that can hold up to you

    NO ! you can not drive my truck !

    '' While checking the oil on one of his trucks one day ...'' Son ? What have you done to my poor truck ? It looks like someone dropped it out of a helicopter into a giant mud hole ! Yea but the outside is clean

    Everyday when I got home ... What have you done now ? '' not what did you do / learn today '' lol

    Im going to get your pepaw to wear your *** out like he did me

    Dont tell your moma

    Trooper or officer ________ just called and said your were going so fast he couldn't get turned around fast enough

    '' Our 1st & last time shooting skeet '' I Felt the shot go by my head !

    I should have never done all of those burn outs , doughnuts and drive fast with you , '' Me'' well you taught me how to do it ! '' Dad '' well your pepaw told me how to do it '' me '' so it's his fault then ?

    How do you keep ripping transmissions out of the lawn mowers ?!

    Nothing good happens after 12 and nothing goods comes out of a bar

    You think Im bad wait till your moma gets home '' And he was right ''

    Wow looking back I must have been a destructive lil bastard ! lol
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2011
  2. LONGHAIR

    LONGHAIR New Member

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    ...You can LOVE a RICH one as easy as a POOR one....No body will try and mess with a ugly girlfriend,like they will a pretty one......:D:D:D
     

  3. LONGHAIR

    LONGHAIR New Member

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    FART...Down-wind.........
     
  4. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    Memorable quotes and advice.

    1) "Son, you will never be big enough to whip my ***."

    He was very wrong...

    2) "Son, you can want in one hand and sh!t in the other and see which one fills up faster."

    He was very right....
     
  5. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    Uhmmm.... I'm thinking.... I'm thinking......

    Nope, I've got nothing. My Grandad on the other hand...

    Hang and rattle! -when times are tough.

    Well, well, well. About as good as 3 holes in the ground. -just an inside joke.

    When you get some ice out of the freezer for your water, just go ahead and throw a cube on the floor. At least one is gonna end up there anyway.

    Don't sleep with the preacher's daughter anymore, she's a bad influence on you!

    When you get as old as I am and someone wants to fight you, kick'em in the nuts first. There's no shame in it when your old and feeble.

    It's a hell of a thing to kill a man. It hurts you right in the soul.

    When you pick her up on your first date, lock the doors to the car. When you unlock her door and open it to let her in the car, watch through the window to see if she leans over to unlock your door for you too. If she does, you better treat her right. If she doesn't, it might as well be the last date too. -me- Is that what you did with Granny? -him- We still do it everytime we go somewhere now.

    Turn it around and wear it like a grown man, instead of some punk thug!! -after grabbing the brim of my backwards ball cap and dragging me to the ground with it.
     
  6. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    "Listen to what your Mother tells you."
     
  7. LONGHAIR

    LONGHAIR New Member

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    In the Morning,get in the Bathroom before your sisters...and I think that was pee down wind...not fart.......
     
  8. Boyerracing343

    Boyerracing343 New Member Supporter

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    My dad enjoys telling me, I have no money (even though i work full time), and i am expendable at any means. :D
     
  9. BenLuby

    BenLuby New Member

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    Told dad "I'm going to college." His reply? "Why? Do they need a janitor?"

    "Don't tell me you can't do it. That just means you don't want to put the effort forward."

    To my wife, when we were dating: "I don't care what your dad said. You can do anything a damn man can do and look better at it."

    To my older brother: "You could screw up a date with a two dollar whore when all you got is twenties."
     
  10. oneshot

    oneshot New Member

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    My Dad was always full of wisdom (or maybe he was full of something else) but the one piece of advise I rember the most came from my uncle about camping in bear country. Rember if a bear is chasing you, You don't have to be the fastest just faster than the slowest.
     
  11. 2hot2handle

    2hot2handle New Member

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    "You gotta make a difference when it makes a difference."

    "I don't pay you to think and you don't disappoint me"

    To me "C'mon over here, I need a strong back and a weak mind."
     
  12. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    Stopped by Dad's one day- my son was about 6. Dad asked where I was headed- told him hardware store to get a couple of screwdrivers. When he asked where mine were, told him I found them with the lawnmower- son had left them stuck in the ground.

    He looked at me, smiled, and said, "I'm so glad!".

    Generational retribution.
     
  13. NOVA

    NOVA New Member

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    My Dad's best advice

    My Dad is a retired Marine Corps pilot. He sends out emails every day to family and friends with an inspiring note or a little bit of wisdom.

    But the best piece of advice he ever gave me was this:

    "Try not to fight, but if you have to fight, make sure you throw the first punch."
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2011
  14. oneshot

    oneshot New Member

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    Just rembered a good one Dad told me. When you are working off of a extension ladder never step back to admire your work.
     
  15. boatme98

    boatme98 New Member

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    "Stay away from the sheep!"

    Just kidding there, but he did have a few jewels.

    "Why do the cops follow me every time you leave town?" This after visiting and borrowing his truck, while I was in the servce.

    "You used to be a good kid, then you discovered p**** and haven't been worth a $#!% ever since."

    "Did you mean to do that, or are you just stupid?"

    There were lots of others.

    I think like most boys, when I reached the teen years my dad couldn't stand me. But after I joined the A.F. and straightened up a bit, we became best friends again. I sure miss him.
     
  16. PowderBurnBassist

    PowderBurnBassist New Member

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    "Boy, I'ma split your sack and put your leg through it if you don't knock that crap off!"
     
  17. Papa_Woody

    Papa_Woody New Member

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    When you ride your last one, make sure it's your best one; jump while he's moving, tip your hat and walk away...

    Never put your hat on the bed

    Always keep an edge on your knife

    Reload before you need to

    Don't pick fights, simply end them

    Don't kick a man while he's down, don't pick a girl up when she's drunk, and never leave your dog in the rain.

    People only say they wouldn't change their past because they can't. Regret is the heaviest thing a man can carry.
     
  18. widowmaker

    widowmaker New Member

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    My dad told me "Don't waste time dreading a job. Just do it and get it over with. Takes a lot less time that way."
    I have another one that I didnt pay attention to as a young man. But its a little off color so I wont post it in the general room.
     
  19. tshoot91

    tshoot91 New Member

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    If it has tits or wheels sooner or later you will have problems
     
  20. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    The best part of you ran down your moma's leg ! lol
    The lazy man works the hardest
    That patch of fur between a woman's legs has caused more problems in this world than any drug or war
    If there is a hard task to be done give it to a lazy man and he will find the easiest way to do it
    You gotta find the floor to clean it