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Discussion in 'The Club House' started by danf_fl, Aug 18, 2012.
I asked her why she need a certain shampoo.
Wasn't her body full enough?
Lmfao. Insert foot in mouth?
My gal was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
Well, I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
And then the fight started……..
my wife was hinting about what she wanted for our anniversary.
she said, " i want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
i bought her a scale!
then the fight was on........
This thread is just wrong.
Keep 'em comming!
My girl bought a new pair of pants. As she was trying them on she asked;
"Do these make my a$$ look big?"
Nope your a$$ makes the pants look small.
And then the fight started ...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my Order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"" "Nah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started...
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started...
My wife and I were watching a show about reincarnation...what's that she asked.
It's a belief that after you die your spirit comes back in a different form...oh cool she said, I want to come back as a cow.
What about this don't you understand I asked...that's when the fight started.
My Wife asked me if I would like some Oral Sex, I said sure at least I'll have 10 minutes of Silence .......
and then the Fight Started......
I like that one. Lmfao
I was with the ex at the store once and she was buying a bra and she said they never have the right size.
I said " You mean they don't make a 38 LONG "....and that's when the fight started
Just laughed till I chocked. Lol
The wife asked me to take her and the kids to sea world. I told her it would be cheaper if she just put on a black and white bathing suit and jumped in the pool.
I was in the living room watching a foot ball game and the wife was getting frustrated with something. I know because as a guy and husband you just know so I asked what's wrong. The wife said we need a dishwasher. To which I responded Why?I have one. Then the fight started. Another
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
Then the fight started.
my wife and i were in bed watching, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire". i turned to her and asked, "do you want to have sex?"
"no" she answered.
i then asked, "is that your final answer?"
she didn't even look at me when she answered again, "yes".
so i said, "i'd like to phone a friend".
and then the fight started!
my wife and i were at my class reunion sitting at a table when she noticed i was staring a drunken lady sitting at another table alone swigging down a drink.
my wife asked, "do you know her?"
"yes." i answered. "she's my old girlfriend, and i had heard she took to drinking after we split up those many years ago. and she hasn't been sober since."
"my God!" my wife exclaimed. "who would have thought that a person would celebrate that long?"
and then the fight started!............
Many years ago I brought home my first handgun...
The wife to one look, stomped her foot, and proclaimed " I will NOT have a handgun in MY home!"
Without looking up from my new toy I replied, "well, your Moms two hours south, you have a nice trip."
...there was no fight, she locked herself in the bedroom for 1 hour then never brought it up again.
Apparently 1 hour is the required amount of time to remove and Oprah/Rosie watching head from an ***.