The Tangopedia

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Dillinger, Oct 1, 2009.

  1. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    Welcome to the active version of FTF's FAQ.

    This thread is dedicated to explaining the posts of one of our rare, God ate the mold when he made him, members in Cpttango.

    Frequently you may find yourself engaged by Cpttango. Some of his posts might be foreign to you. You may find yourself scratching your head, in your mom's basement, with your 5.11 tactical pants on and your Uber pistol in your lap, wondering what the hell just happened to your online personna?

    How did this happen? I thought I was speaking the gamer's lounge truth. I thought I knew my interwebz firearms. And what is this guy telling me?? :eek:

    Well, Here is your Tangopedia:

    You’re an Effing Douche”: This means that cpttango does not approve of your post or your opinion. I would suggest reading the rest of the posts and see where you went wrong.

    I have a picture of Ponch that says “You’re a Douche”: This means that cpttango does not approve of your post or your opinion so strongly; he needed to express himself visually. You probably need to rethink before posting again.

    "Hey, I have been busy you homo": Cpttango is explaining that his life does not revolve around this forum and has outside commitments. It is in your best interest to cut him some slack.

    Like me, you have to take *information offered* with a grain of salt”: Cpttango is trying to say that he does not always mean to come off as a hard ***, but that does not mean he likes you, or that he is sorry about it. It just means that sometimes Cpttango has rare moments were he is not AS MAD as he is the rest of the time.

    I am tired of you and your stupid crap”: This is rare. You have just hit the trifecta, so you might want to consider buying a lottery ticket. Not only have you pissed of Cpttango in this thread, not only has he LONG since written off ANY advice you might have about firearms, but you have reached the point where nothing you have had to say is even entertaining. You are in an elite cast that can be counted on one hand.

    Effing”: Cpttango is censoring himself from really telling you off with several “F” Bombs. You should know this, but since you were questioning it, I see that Cpttango was right about you.

    Stupid Post of the Day Award: This is rare as well, because it does not occur everyday. What the means is that you have posted something that is so Mall Ninja Moronic and/or completely out in Left Field Stupid, that Cpttango had to reach deep into his bag and come out with something JUST for you.

    Damn Sissy”/ “Effing Sissy” / “Anything with puzzy in it”: You do not possess the equipment necessary to survive in Cpttango’s world. You should rent the entire series of Band of Brothers, (6) Clint Eastwood Westerns and every movie that John Wayne EVA made. Watch them all back to back, while being blown & fondled by two Thai hookers who are 100% born females, during the after math of eating 11 double bacon cheeseburgers. Once you have watched at least half of Band of Brothers, or made it through three movies, you need to burn through 500 rounds of ammunition that is Centerfire ONLY! Repeat as necessary until Cpttango recognizes your recent Boys’ Drop.

    Douche Bag”: See “You’re an Effing Douche”

    EOH”: Equal Opportunity Hater. Cpttango is telling you that while you have pissed him off in the past, and probably will piss him off in the future, he doesn’t single you out. Cpttango has decided that everyone deserves a good verbal beatdown from time to time.

    Anything involving the phrasing of “Panties in a wad”: Cpttango is trying to explain to you that the stick that is in your rectum over whatever you said and he responded to, is because you are actually lacking the parts necessary to survive in Cpttango’s realm ( see Sissy/Puzzy above ) AND you have gone so far as to make the mistake of dressing in women’s full backside underwear. This has gotten bunched into your buttock region and is actually what is bothering you. See recommendation above.

    All I can say, is this”: You have just received a visual response from Cpttango. There are NO positive results of this post. Recommend you do some reading of the thread and educate yourself.

    Grumpy”: This is as close as you are EVA going to get to a sort of backhanded “love” from Cpttango. Cpttango is an Alpha Males’ Alpha Male. He does not give hugs. He does not pat a player on the backside and say “Good job”. When you are a “Grumpy” anything ( Grumpy Bastard, Grumpy F*cker, Grumpy Mod) Cpttango is trying to explain that while he respects you as a person, he is not happy with your current attitude.

    Visiting your Aunt’s House”: Cpttango is relating to you that your current attitude, while he knows is not your normal vernacular, is because of extra stress and/or hormonal imbalances in your system. He is ALMOST forgiving you, but he is Cpttango after all. Check Yo Self, Foo!!

    Low-life worthless scum sucking SOB”: This is never applied to the poster, this is only applied to criminals. Chances are good that Cpttango is sharing with you his personal belief, and life mission, to rid this world of criminals, one copper jacked round at a time. You best bet is to agree with him.
     
  2. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Excellent, and well thought out. You've been doing your homework. May I submit another Tangoism for addition the this collection?

    If so, then I offer:

    "Effing kid touchers- any suspect religious group or cult group. Usually led by an extremist or two. These people are the worst of the worst in Tango's mind. Shoot on sight if he had his way.
     

  3. NGIB

    NGIB New Member

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    Methinks this deserves a sticky. Makes it easier for us to grab quotes from it when necessary.

    Also, if we number them it would be good shorthand. For example you could just say "T-1" rather than having to type out the entire effin douche line.

    He called me an "old codger" I suspect that's somewhat similar to a "Grumpy"...
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2009
  4. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    Thank you kind sirs. I have been working on this for a couple of days. My hope is to garner some begrudging respect from Tango himself ( oh, the glee ) and from Benning Boy.

    Awesome addition Skull. How the hell did I miss that one? :eek:
     
  5. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    Who here is so thinned skinned they needed a dictionary? Tango and I have butted heads a time or two but I believe I can speak for both of us when I say we respect each other. Come on guys....SOUND OFF LIKE YOU'VE GOT A PAIR!!
     
  6. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    WOW, that explains a lot! [​IMG]
     
  7. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    This is outrageously douchetastic! Thanks for the thread. :D
     
  8. cpttango30

    cpttango30 New Member

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    WOW that was so good I am having a hard time typing because I am still laughing so dam hard.
     
  9. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    Screw you BENNING!! :p:D;)

    I just got the cyber masturbation GOLD CUP. :D

    *goes to sleep happy, enthused and wise. *

    JD
     
  10. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    :D - Thank you my friend. Thank you!

    JD
     
  11. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    I am so disgusted that I didn't think of this.

    Incredibly well done, top notch, but wasted in the Bunker. It needs to be in the registration section, with an I agree/disagree box.

    Proving once again that you're the man, well done, My Friend.;):cool:
     
  12. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    Well..I suppose if you have been working on this for a couple of days you do deserve some damn recognition and a pat on the back for all of the hard work and diligent sacrifice you put into it.

    Happy Birthday!...er I mean...well done sir, an extraordinary, successful and informative piece of work explaining Tango's EPD. :D Thanks JD!

    Jack
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2009
  13. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    SUCCESS!!

    Victory is mine. Mwahaha hahah ahhah eh.

    Thank you,

    My Friend.
     
  14. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    Addendum:

    "How to Use an Effing Coma":

    Cpt Tango has viewed your post and has deemed that you know nothing about the English language. As Cpt Tango works in an Elementary School, he has decided to remind you how to properly communicate in an on line environment.

    JD
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2009
  15. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    Screw you. When you type fast, shi'ite happens. Grammer and Spelling Nazi's can "piss up a rope" as Tango would say.....:cool:
     
  16. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Go eff yourself and piss up a rope or any variation there of:

    (1)Tango has recognized that you have gotten the better or him, and he respects you for doing so. Still, he wants you to pee on yourself in the attempt to 'piss up a rope'. (2) He has not written you off to being a douche, but you are on the radar. (3) He will read your next post with an open mind should you even dare to post again
     
  17. cpttango30

    cpttango30 New Member

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    Hey Gate this is my thread not yours. Keep your half wit comments in the other threads.

    Dillinger I think it should say Addendum not NOTE.

    Main Entry: ad·den·dum
    Pronunciation: \ə-ˈden-dəm\
    Function: noun
    Inflected Form(s): plural ad·den·da \-ˈden-də\ also ad·den·dums
    Etymology: Latin, neuter of addendus, gerundive of addere
    Date: 1684
    1 : a thing added : addition
    2 : a supplement to a book —often used in plural but singular in construction
     
  18. suprdave

    suprdave New Member

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    This is how tough Tango is...

    [​IMG]
     
  19. cpttango30

    cpttango30 New Member

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    Douchetastic: The process of being an utterly brilliant angry idiot of a douche bag.
     
  20. diggsbakes

    diggsbakes New Member

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    Ok, English boy.

    Wouldn't "Douchetastic", an uncommon variation of the word "fantastic" actually be an adjective describing one's ability of "being an utterly brilliant angry idiot of a douche bag."

    I don't believe it is a "process" at all.

    In the English language we usually denote words indicating a process with the suffix "ing". Such examples of processes would include, but are (obviously) not limited to: computing, mapping, shooting, hunting, shaming, etc.

    I know its your "Tangopedia", Einstein, but c'mon man.

    If you don't believe me, go knock on your mom's bedroom door, down the hall and ask her.:)


    D