The Colonoscopy....arrrgg..

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by KimberFan, Mar 1, 2013.

  1. KimberFan

    KimberFan New Member

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    Those of us oldies all know what this is. The "Night Before" is the worst part. My gawd...two jugs of Drano and hold on. Within an hour, I could fire a round thru the hole of a CHEERIO at 60 feet from that witches brew......and just when you think you're done - that cheeseburger you had in 1974 shuttles thru. Having not done this before, going in I had images in my head of some doctor standing by some steam belching monstrosity with downriggers on it like a backhoe and he's slapping a big ol' hose up against a concrete wall to knock the barnacles off it and yelling "Get him in here, I got a T-off time in 40 minutes!" They rolled me in, told me to think nice thoughts....(?)......sound of crickets. How do you have nice thoughts when you know in a few moments your caboose is going to see a salmon going up stream holding a Polaroid? I dunno, next thing I know I'm out cold and waking up wondering if I should say Thank You or cry....I got the clean bill of health and walked out sideways like John Wayne and whimpered for a Happy Meal afterwards.....I told my wife I've had every orifice in my body checked by a doctor now and that's enough. Get it done....the Happy Meal afterwards is worth it, fellas. :p
     
  2. mountainman13

    mountainman13 New Member

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    Lmfao. Been there, done that. Not fun.
     

  3. willshoum

    willshoum New Member

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    Torture......

    They ran me thru the mill, I had cronic fatigue syndrome. But I think it was that deer tick embedded in my chest. Better known as Lyme disease.....Six months of hell......:)
     
  4. kirbinster

    kirbinster New Member

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    Its not big sh*t ! :)

    Had it done two years ago, as I told my doc ahead of time I was scared sh*tless, - he said it should be a piece of cake then :)

    Prep was a non issue, the issue for me was being put under. They were concerned as my BP was sky high at the time, cause I was scared to death. Once it was done BP was 100% normal, had just worked myself up for nothing.
     
  5. DFlynt

    DFlynt New Member

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    LMAO! Been there done that. :D
     
  6. notdku

    notdku Administrator Staff Member

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    Don't they sedate you?
     
  7. KimberFan

    KimberFan New Member

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    It depends...some get a General anesthesia, some get some "feel good" local meds via IV prior and some get a ball peen hammer upside the bucket. I also know a few who toughed it out without anything. I wasn't on that last list I'll tell ya...
     
  8. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    I'm sure it's a good thing ,but what kid of kid aspires to be a Proctologist ?:confused:
     
  9. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    Besides the night before being bad, I really did not want to be in public when the air they pumped in started coming out.

    I had a couple that would have made my uncle proud, but they were stinkless.
     
  10. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Next time , remember the (FART-OFF).........! You could be a contenda............! :D
     
  11. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    I am a very poor patient. I get near hysteria anytime I need to get anything done. They knock me out as soon as they can to shut me up.


    No. Why should they? It's just a tube up your rectum into your colon. Man, up, Notdku.
    Of course they do. :cool: They typically give a "twilight" sedation where you don't really care there's a tube going up your butt into your colon.

    Yeah, you know what they say about people who think their "stuff" doesn't stink? :p
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2013
  12. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Man up you say...? You mean (MOE-UP !).......! :p
     
  13. Sniper03

    Sniper03 Supporting Member Supporter

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    Kimber

    Your description of he event cracked me up and was very eloquently put! Been there and done that myself last year.
    They knocked me out for it and I am glad! Something about a hose with a camera on it being ran "Well you know where!" that doesn't impressed me and especially when it is mine! :D But the good news was you clear bill of health. Mine was also good although they did a couple of minor whack jobs for precautionary reasons. But he advise nothing at all to worry about. So best wishes for you all who will receive this miraculous inspection in the future and we wish all of us luck!
    But the benefits are worth it to periodically be checked. I think when you get older 50+ they recommend every 5 years? But cancer is no respector of age! My mom had colon cancer and it is no joke! Had some of her intestines removed because she developed colon rectal cancer! Passed away a year later in 2010! God Bless Mom! She is missed! On a serious note! Precaution is worth its weight in Gold!

    03
     
  14. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    Just be glad that they did not do the "down the throat" check at the same time.

    You know that they used the tool only once if you had only a colonoscopy.
     
  15. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    My older sister had similar comments on the recovery room.

    Me, I will be putting that test off in hopes something else gets me first. I mean, seriously, how angry would you be if you were hit by a falling jet engine on your way OUT of that appointment.
     
  16. DFlynt

    DFlynt New Member

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    When they ran that tube up my backside I told the guy doing the procedure "This has convinced me I could never be gay" (no offense to gays).
     
  17. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    I would think you really don't have a problem till you start like them........!:confused:
     
  18. willshoum

    willshoum New Member

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    Lol... I had a cousin that had his first prostate exam.......he was a little slow in the wit....... He told my mother that the Dr. had violated him........lol. His father had died of prostate cancer..... he died from diabeties........:(
     
  19. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Tis a sad thing.! None of us get out alive.....! :confused:
     
  20. KimberFan

    KimberFan New Member

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    [ame="http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHKTE75dgE4"]http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHKTE75dgE4[/ame]