Tall tales & Fishing

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by MobileMarine, Jun 2, 2012.

  1. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    Ok , here is a thread to share your stories . Whatever goes ! Can be truth , can be stretched truth or something you did in your dumber days :D . Share your war story or pass on grandpas fishing story , the one that changed slightly every time you heard it . If your going to tell about your mischievous days , be sure the statue of limitations applies ;) .
    Twist it how ever you want and make it good , tell us in the end , if you so choose , just how spot on it really was .

    Here is one of mine :
    The rain had finally tapered off by about 10pm but it was still hot and humid as all get out . Me and Nate '' best friend '' decided to go hit the mud . So we got the trucks fires up , my chariot was a 89 nissan pathfinder with locked front and rear diffs and his was a 79 f-250 with a 460 big block .
    We had beer to drink , time to kill and mud to sling and we had the perfect place to do all 3 .
    A very large track of land was under development with the roads for the most part ready to pave .... till we got there . It became apparent as soon as we left the pavement just how much fun we were in for . The roads looked as if they were getting paved anytime now , nice and smooth Nc red clay mud about 1ft thick , almost like peanut butter .
    After about 30 minutes of going at it , I stuck my rig about 2 miles back from the main entrance , Nate stuck his in one of these giant drain ponds trying to turn around to get me .
    By this time is about 12 at night and NO one would come get us , the option of leaving them there was no going to happen due to the chit load of trouble we would be in if caught . Not wanting to , I remember seeing a big ol center steer fork loader on the trail . Off we go to get it . Get there , work my magic and start driving it back to the trucks . We were commited now , after borowwing the loader , we HAD to get them out .
    Now here is where things go bad . We get back to the trucks and I stick the loader by sliding way way way down the hill into the woods and out of site .
    We have just stuck the thing we barrowed to get ourselves out .
    THEE only other rig NOT at the main entrance was a the biggest excavator id ever seen , A Cat 365 . For sure going to jail now , I got it started , squeaked , crawled and banged our way at a snails pace back to the trucks with only one dot left on the fuel meter and it was flashing . We hook up to the f-250 1st and let me tell you , it was like mike tyson hitting a tether ball !
    I did not even bother hooking up to mine , I just scooped it up in the bucket and put it on firm ground . I felt horrible for taking the machines like that so I intended to drive it back till ......... yep , got it stuck too .:( .
    We cleaned and fix what we had done to start them and got thee hell out of dodge .
    Its now about 3-4am , trucks look like mud balls going down the road with a bad case of diarrhea falling out from under them . Now i was running expired dealer tags . We are heading down the back rd and pass a sheriff getting ready to pull out of a road that backs up to where we were JUST at and Im last inline . GREAT ... all of that and were still gonna go to jail ! As I predicted he turned out behind me and why he NEVER pulled us Ill never know , maybe he knew it was going to be alot of paper work involved on this one , i dont know , nor do I care but I can tell you , we never went to a another job site off-roading ever again .
    And to this day ..... I have yet to see another excavator that big in person
    google Cat 365 excavator to see just how big she is .

    Now your turn :D
     
  2. LONGHAIR

    LONGHAIR New Member

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    He was this big...but he got away.....:eek:...:D...:D...
     

  3. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    Looks like this one turned out to be a dud , oh well
     
  4. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    I used to go fishing with my Dad on vacations. He would smoke a cigar and let me have a puff. My Mother would get mad at him for that. ROFL

    Anyway, I was about 8ish and we were out on a lake. I got a strike on my line and pulled in this big, black big mouthed "sucker fish". That's what my Dad called it but it was some kind of catfish, I think. I was terrified of the thing. It must have been two feet long and ugly as sin. Whiskers, big gaping mouth, the whole ugly thing. My Dad said they were garbage fish and threw it up on shore to let it die. I felt bad for the fish. :(
     
  5. gollygee

    gollygee New Member

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    My son & I were going to do some trot lining. Set up camp & set out the trot line, then went to seine for bait. We found a narrow dead-ended slough that was about 20 ft. long & just wide enough that our seine reached all the way across.

    We started out at it's mouth & started easing our way toward the end. We had just got started when a squirrel climbed out on a willow limb, hanging out over the water, to get an acorn that was sitting on an old stump. Of course, when he dropped off the limb to get the acorn, the limb popped back up & left him stranded on the stump.

    You could almost sense his panic & it was like he was trying to judge if he could jump to dry land. About that time, a huge black bass came up out of the water & grabbed that squirrel! My son & I had the same thought at about the same time. We figured we could trap that old bass if we could work up close to each bank & drag the seine along the bottom. Well, we were about there when.........................................................................................

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    That bass came back up out of the water & put another acorn on that stump!

    :p
     
  6. LONGHAIR

    LONGHAIR New Member

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    Trot-Lines never get me anything but Snapping-Turtles.....
     
  7. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    Talking to a friend that is a lifelong Texan- we were discussing bass fishing. Told me he had a good evening at the lake- caught three 4 inchers, two 5 inchers, and one 6 inch.

    Was kinda puzzled, told him that here in Virginia, bass THAT size were not legal. He smiled and said "Yep, but here in Texas, we measure between the EYES!".
     
  8. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    Me and pops were off shore about 20 miles , dead calm and had been trolling for sometime so we stopped and threw out some flat lines and put some on the bottom . I was at the front and dad at the back when i heard HOLY *HIT!
    Dad had reeled in one of the trolling rods but left the leader with the hula popper with a chunk of bait hanging over the side of the boat . A huge lone bull dolphin came out of the blue and just swam up to it and took it . Pops being excited grabs the pole that is still locked with drag still nice and tight , he gives it a nice yank and sets the hook on a @ least 70lb green bull dolphin .

    What ensued there after was thee biggest *** whipping I have ever seen in person by a fish . we got some line out and fought him for a few minutes , he never got further than 40ft from the boat but his last trip around was by the front . Now our gaff had broke in half so it was only about 3 ft long but it was still a gaff . I reached over the bow rails with dad yelling gaff em gaff em gaff em ! Now im sitting there wonder what they hell is going to go down when I stick the big hook in this big mean fish ? No looking forward to doing it , I stuck em . What ensued after that was the biggest *** whipping I have ever received . That dolphin shook me around like a rag doll in a bull dogs mouth .
    Not being able to control him or me I turned him loose . When he took off the leader came by my head and layed my ear open nice and proper , I look up and my gaff and my fish leaving town with fast company , never to be seen again .
     
  9. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    I totally believe you. I caught a 55 lb bull dolphin out of Ocho Rios, Jamaica (honeymoon trip) Fought it for 30 minutes and then it got in the boat it beat the hell out of the crew, one of the natives who was as black as they come had a huge visible bruise on his back from it (got a pic of the bruise, but it is on real film, 20 years ago). They broke an aluminum baseball bat trying to kill it. Very beautiful fish for a little while after you pull it out of the water. The beauty fades fast though.
     
  10. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    When I was in high school I would hang out at one of the local stables and do chores and stuff in trade for riding time (never had a horse of my own). There was an innocent young girl I was interested in who had never been riding, so I arranged for two horses one day, we went on a decent ride and when we got back there was stud service there so I asked her if she had ever seen a horse put up for stud. Not knowing what I meant she just said "Let's go see!".

    Big mistake. Once she saw that big schlong at full attention there was no going back though. We stayed for the duration. Poor girl was ruined from then on. No impressing her after that.:(
     
  11. Big-Nasty

    Big-Nasty New Member

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    Lol here's a tall tale story my grandpa told me when I was a kid. Lol and I really believed him then.
    A while back in the old days my great grandma and grandpa lived in a old log cabin and were very poor. The times were hard. They had no money and nothing to eat. One morning when the sun rose up my grandpa grabbed his rifle and went for a walk in the woods. He was near a creek and he saw a deer on the other side. He aimed his rifle and shot the deer. As he walked across the creek to find the deer he felt something poking his feet. He took off his shoes and found fish in them. He went again walking and found the deer he had killed, but the bullet went all the way through its body. Up ahead from where the deer was laying was a turkey. The bullet had also hit the turkey and went all the way through its body. So he went walking again to find where the bullet had finally stopped. As he was walking through the woods he found a tree with a bee hive full of honey that the bullet had hit.
    That's the story he told me when I was very young. Lol course I can't tell it like he did but then again I'm not a old indian man.
     
  12. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    When I was a kid, we were living down on the York River. You might as well be on the ocean- 6 miles wide, salt water with tides, crabs and oysters.

    We had taken the car and gone to town to get groceries. This was long before air conditioning, but we did have this big window fan. We left the widows open, and the fan in one of the windows.

    While we were gone, a thunderstorm came up the river, turning into a mini-hurricane. Blowing in through the windows, it made that fan spin backwards. It acted as a generator, and started making electricity. Feeding back into the power system, it made our electric meter run backwards.

    At the end of the month, the power company sent US a check.


    :)
     
  13. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    Mobile, my grandad was telling me about a double barreled muzzle loading shotgun he had. It was SO powerful, and could kill a deer SO far away, that by the time you got to the deer, the meat had spoiled.

    He got around this with some custom loading for the shotgun. The right barrel got powder, wadding and buckshot. The LEFT barrel got powder, wadding, rock salt, butcher's paper, broken razor blades and string.

    Pull the right trigger, and then the left. When you got to the deer the meat had been cut up, salted down, and wrapped up and tied with string.

    :p
     
  14. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    Seriously??
     
  15. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by c3shooter
    When I was a kid, we were living down on the York River. You might as well be on the ocean- 6 miles wide, salt water with tides, crabs and oysters.

    _______________

    Yep , that one may be a bit stretched but , electric motors are not that different from generators and alternators .
    Had an electric fan on an hot rod that would make the lights come on when you got to going down the road .
    We have a few computer fans with led lights and when you spin them it will make the lights come on
    That poor fan must have been pissed after that
     
  16. LONGHAIR

    LONGHAIR New Member

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    c3shooter..You know your showing your age....Long before air conditioning.....:D...
     
  17. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    WHY could I never find people THIS gullible when I was selling used cars? :p

    gullible.jpg
     
  18. MobileMarine

    MobileMarine New Member

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    To make a very long story short , me and nate were at one of these time share freebie things up in massofnothin resort in va . We went down town to to some bars which were all closing but one . The artful dodger ....... Went in , got some beers and i went to the head . There was a fish bowl full of condoms and two fake heads kissing , both men ....... Strange I thought , in the bathroom , it was papered in naked girls which was cool in my book . Got back out to my stool and attempted to enjoy the 80 and early 90's music that was pumping when nate turned to me and said '' Umm Phillip ? were in a gay bar .. '' . Me : No its not
    Nate : um yea look
    Thats when I saw it ...... All dude dancing together to Madonna !
    F this lets roll !
    Nate had found him some little fat troll girl to dance with so I waited for him outside , in the corner , hiding .
    he comes out with her and her 5-6 gay guy friends and tells me we are going to their house . LIKE HELL WE ARE !
    After him beggin and pleading to get some from the troll he found I agreed but I had alternate plans . We pull up and yet ! there are more dudes all playing on the bed with a kitten and the others were dancing and slinging around neon light sticks to techno . Well every car in the yard had its keys on the mantle by the door and all were BMW AUDI VW , with the laser cut encoded keys that cost well over 125 ea then more to program them . When the time was right I swipped every last one . Told nate we needed to leave ... RIGHT NOW which was code for I just did something bad .
    So we left and left a trail of keys all the way back to NC . He gets a call the next day and in a sweet mans voice , ask him if he had seen any keys .
    It was at least a dozen cars out there and half with the windows down and all blocking each other in and in the cul de sac
    LMFAO ROL
     
  19. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    1988 or 1989, Mecca Ohio on the shores of Mosquito Lake. The bar is the aptly named Mosquito Lounge. My buddies and I had a couple of weeks off around the 4th of July and spent the 4th with a friend who lived up the road from the Mosquito Lounge. During the weekend of the 4th it was a raucous and rowdy place. After the holiday we went in and the place was deserted except for the lone bartender. He was three sheets to the wind and when we ordered some drinks he slurred out "Ya know how to make 'em then do it yerself".

    Turns out said bartender is headed to jail the next morning, so we made ourselves at home behind the bar, making drinks and all, playing pool, having a great time until a couple of hours after closing time when we woke up the bartender to tell him we were leaving. He asked us what we owed on our tab and we honestly had no idea, given that we were pouring drinks and making up our own all night. We left maybe $40 or $50. No tip though since we didn't get any service.
     
  20. big_blue79

    big_blue79 New Member

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    My dad told me this when I was younger:

    One day, my dad, one of my uncles, and my granddad went fishing, they were fishing off of a Bridge IIRC by lake Eufala here in OK. It was dawn they had an oil lantern set up and going by them so they could see, granddad knocked the lamp off into the water and took a treble hook and snagged the handle, pulled it back up out of the water. They got in the truck and went to the dock and fished there for the rest of the day, later on this guy came around bragging at how many fish he had in this sack and all this other BS, my uncle turned and said to the guy "oh yeah, he knocked a lamp off in the water and fished it back out still lit" the guy said "really" and granddad said "sure did, you take about 100lbs off that weight and I'll blow the flame out".