Stupid Children AGAIN

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by partdeux, Oct 12, 2013.

  1. partdeux

    partdeux Well-Known Member

    4,626
    145
    63
    Oldest has always been a struggle.

    She started doing good, and we got sucked into helping her get into a house. Did it right and legal. We are the legal bank to her, she pays us on the registered mortgage. About 9 months into it, looking for her to apply to a bank, when she takes about three steps backward.

    Through a strange twist of fate, found a buyer for the house. They're getting it cheap, she's paying us off and walking away with some spare change to help rent an apartment. After that, we're done.

    I was sitting in the house today looking at the amount of work we put into the house to make it a really nice place, that was extremely affordable, safe, and a nice home.

    Walked in an hour before the appt this morning, house was absolutely trashed, hungover people everywhere. Wife started rolling her fav song in her head, Elton John B! is back, and went to town. It was hilarious watching people jumping. They walked out at 5 minutes before the hour, probable new owners walked in shortly after, and we had a verbal deal an hour later. Need to wrap up a couple of minor details, have our attorney draft the agreement on Monday, and get her moved out.
     
  2. MisterMcCool

    MisterMcCool Well-Known Member Supporter

    12,990
    429
    83
    Congratulations on surviving that fiasco.
     

  3. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

    21,452
    579
    113
    Have a feeling a video of that would have done well on pay-per-view!
     
  4. TLuker

    TLuker Active Member

    3,937
    2
    38
    Aren't kids grate! :rolleyes:

    I've got to admit that I was a slacker as a teen and into my early 20's so I'm not casting any stones. My family was patient and really helped me out during that time and I will always be grateful for that. :)
     
  5. partdeux

    partdeux Well-Known Member

    4,626
    145
    63
    Neither my wife nor I were angels. HOWEVER, we always met our personal responsibilities.

    We loaned her 48k for a house that was purchased for 39k. She walked into a fully furnished house that was extremely affordable. We took out a home equity loan on our fully paid off house to finance this for her. Charged her 5% interest. She had a working roommate. Literally, she could have had a fully paid off house in 5 years... but no, being stupid was a far better plan.

    She has an alcohol problem that she doesn't recognize. When she was doing good, she had stopped drinking, but then started back up again. She's not working, getting into an apartment will be a struggle, but hopefully by prepaying several months, it will happen. She's absolutely not coming home, besides the fact I don't have room right now, we need some time away from her. I have to let her completely fail, and that's going to be hard.
     
  6. bluez

    bluez Well-Known Member

    1,655
    79
    48
    I was a big slacker all the way into my 20's also but I never had an alcohol (or any other addiction) problem
     
  7. Rick1967

    Rick1967 Well-Known Member

    4,992
    51
    48
    I feel your pain. I have not financed anything expensive for any of my kids. But my 24 year old daughter and my almost 4 year old grandson are practically my dependents. It has gotten a little better over the last couple of months. I have told my wife to not let them go hungry of get thrown out of their apartment. But I am at a point where I don't want to know how much I am helping her anymore. She puts him in daycare when she is not working. But then she turns around and says that this is difficult because she never gets to see him???? She has been caught cheating the food stamp system and unemployment. She is a train wreck. She has been very mean and hateful to us in the past. But right now she knows she needs help so she is being nice...sort of. My wife is in denial. She doesn't realize that I would treat my mother better than Kassandra treats us even if I didn't need anything.
     
  8. TLuker

    TLuker Active Member

    3,937
    2
    38
    Sadly that's usually what it takes for kids to grow up. :confused:
     
  9. Argyle_Armoring

    Argyle_Armoring New Member

    891
    0
    0
    Mom? Dad? Sounds like what my parents went through with my sister. I can only how tough it is for parents raising a child like my sister. Of course now my sister is 31 and still having the same problems.
     
  10. MisterMcCool

    MisterMcCool Well-Known Member Supporter

    12,990
    429
    83
    Parents always favor the most irresponsible child. :rolleyes:
     
  11. TLuker

    TLuker Active Member

    3,937
    2
    38
    We always had an understanding in my family that the person that gets the most help is the one that needs it the most. One or two family members confuse that with favoritism but it's not. I rarely need anything and I don't want anything from anyone in my family because there are other family members that could really use whatever help they can get. I truly get that family members offering things to others in the family and not me is in no way favoritism, and I'm really glad they're able to help other family members.

    I think all that applies to the most irresponsible child? That's the child that always needs the most and it often appears to be favoritism - even if it is their own fault that they keep ending up in a position to where they need help. :)
     
  12. WebleyFosbery38

    WebleyFosbery38 New Member

    7,510
    2
    0
    My Daughters are like Ying and Yang, cant tell they are related. They both were reared well, had pretty solid guidance from Mom and I and knew right from wrong from the very beginning. The older one (37) got it, The 32 YO probably never will. Up until a couple years ago, we were the bank of England to her, bought her out of way too many phuck ups. Shes got 3 kids by the same lazy POS father and they live a POS life together 24/7. We still do lots for the gandkids but not a dime goes to daughter, its on her now, the bank is closed!

    Its sad to know the ones you love fail to return that with respect and honor in their lives but they are taught in school to have fun and accept whatever they can get for nothing, its easier than working for a living! Dont sweat it just get out from under it ASAP, good luck and Gods Speed!
     
  13. partdeux

    partdeux Well-Known Member

    4,626
    145
    63
    Funny story. I was talking to somebody on the phone one day about something that tied me to my parents. This person was personal friends of my parents. He finally asked who I was, and then said, "I never knew they had a son, all we ever heard about was their daughter". Wasn't sure if I should be happy or sad ;)

    Back to my idiot child. Apparently she went out and got absolutely totally hammered last night. Wife is going pay, but not sign the lease for her to get into an apartment, ASAP. It would all we need for her to have a huge blow out party and trash the house before it gets sold.

    I also have a better understanding at the huge amount of money mom was fronting her. It was a significant amount :( Kind of came to a head when we spent a bunch of money over a couple of months on some unusual expenses. Wife said we needed to slow down, because we just emptied the petty cash account. I quickly added up in my head the numbers, and thought to myself, we didn't spend anymore than our paychecks, how did we...

    House sale will net her approximately 6 months of apt rent, plus at least a couple of months of expenses. I'm guessing this will implode by next January, but she'll have a heated apartment to live in.
     
  14. F4U

    F4U Well-Known Member Supporter

    2,581
    131
    63
    Similar to my brothers and I. I am the oldest 8 years private school then public high school because there was no chance I was going to college. I got good grades, but I hated school so badly that I still get claustrophobic going to parent teacher conferences for my daughter. I drive a truck for a living show up every day, work as much overtime as I can.

    Middle brother 12 years private school then college then medical school. Worked his tail off to get there. Worked his way through college with part time jobs and grants. Now works 8-10 hours a day as doctor then a couple more doing the business part of the job, you small business guys know the drill on this.

    Youngest brother 12 years private school, no college never held a job more than 6 months usually not 6 weeks. If he gets 3 paychecks in his pocket he thinks he doesn't need to work for a while. 2 winters ago he went onto mom and dads place while they were in Az. and stole most of dads farm equipment and scrapped it out. He is currently in prison for going after his girlfriends mom with a baseball bat.

    All of us raised basically the same, the youngest is a lot younger than middle brother and I and was spoiled a little bit simply because mom and dad could afford more by the time he came along than they could when I was young.