Sarge's Parking ticket

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by sarge_257, Apr 15, 2011.

  1. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

    Most of you know about Sarge's Ford Van, which is called White Elephant, because of it's size and the pug nose that looks like the massive head of the elephant.
    A while back Sarge received, in the mail, a citation for illegal parking. It had a copy of the ticket the officer had written and a warning that Sarge's arrest was forthwith if he did not pay this citation. Reading on Sarge found out that the ticket was written July 10th. And looking closely showed the description of the vehicle to be a White Toyota Pickup.
    First of all on July 10th, Sarge and family was on vacation 2000 miles away. Secondly the White Elephant was not a Toyota or a pick up. The license plate that was listed was indeed Sarge's.
    So Sarge calls up the City Hall and explains that there has been a mistake. Well so much for that. You know how far he got with that.
    Noticing that the actual address where the vehicle was parked is shown, Sarge takes a camera with him and finds the location. (a street he had never been on in his life) And what to his happy surprise he finds a white Toyota pickup parked in the exact spot. This is unbelievable as it has been four months since the ticket was written. It looks like this guy has been parking there all year. Perhaps he didn't notice the sign.
    So Sarge pulls up his Van next to the Toyota pickup and with them side by side takes several pictures front and back. Making sure that the license plates show. As the Toyota license plate reads 84XX-TT and Sarge's White Elephant reads 84XX-TJ.
    Now Sarge has photo evidence as to what happened. So he goes to the city hall on the next day. And asks to see the DA. The District Attorney happens to be a very good looking woman but unfortunately with a man's cut hair and a business suit and the look of a Left Wing Liberal feminist. And that turns out to be exactly what she is. Sarge explains about the mistake and she seems to be attentative and concerned. Showing her the pictures she looks carefully at them. Sarge later could remember the very moment that she spotted the "I am the NRA" and "National Muzzle Loading Assn." bumper stickers on the Van in the picture. Her attitude changed completely and she asks Sarge if he had any guns in that truck.
    "Ma'am the ticket is for parking not drive by shooting." Sarge says. And that was obviously the wrong answer. "You will have to go before the Judge with this and it will probably cost you big money for putting off paying this ticket," she exclaimed.
    "Ma'am, the ticket is incorrect, it is not my truck that was ticketed." Sarge attempts to explain.
    And he is quickly dismissed and told to leave.
    Two weeks later Sarge is at the Court House and waiting his turn at the docket. His name is called and the bearded stern looking judge asks him to state his name and address. Then the judge read the charges. And notes that the ticket is 4 months old. And that the DA lady has asked for a arrest warrent. The judge looks at Sarge and tells him that citizens can not scoff at the laws and get away with it.
    Sarge agrees and asks the Judge. "I thought I was innocent until proven guilty, aren't you going to ask me how I plead?"
    "Hurummp" says the Judge, "Yes of course, How do you plead?"
    "Innocent Judge and I can prove it." states Sarge.
    And Sarge takes out of an folder the copy of the ticket and the photos.
    "Those don't prove anything, your Honor," the woman DA says quickly. "I would ask the Judge to not allow this evidence to be introduced."
    "How do you know what he has, Ms. DA." the Judge asks.
    "He brought those phony pictures by my office and tried to get me to drop charges against him." she states.
    "Mr. Sarge, you may approach the bench and bring your evidence forward," said the Judge.
    Sarge breathing a little sigh of relief shows the Judge the pictures and explains that the license plates were almost the same. The he shows the Judge the ticket and how the officer exhibited very poor penmenship and the last two letters were smeared and almost illegible.
    "Hummm" the Judge looks closely at the ticket, noting the description of the vehicle and then the license of the Pickup and the Van next to it. Then he looks very close at the picture and points with a stubby finger at the bumper sticker on the White Elephants back bumper.
    "Do you use flint or cap?" he asks Sarge.
    Surprised, Sarge says, " I have one flint and 6 caps sir. But I am thinking of building my own Brown Bess in Flint."
    The Judge smiles through his beard and says, "You will like it. I have one too."
    "Ms. DA," growls the Judge. "You have acted very unprofessional in this case. It was a simple matter and an obvous mistake but you not only caused Mr. Sarge to miss several days of work but you brought a totally unneeded burden on him with your arrest warrent. Had he been arrested he would have had a very good case for false arrest and harrassment. I recommend that you drop your charges and retract your warrent immediatly. And in the future you will not mix your personal likes/ dislikes into your professional career. If this happens again I will hold you in contempt. And you will be out of a position in my court."
    "I apologise for the City of Denver, Mr. Sarge. CASE DISMISSED!" he banged the gavel.
    And a happy elated Sarge bounced out the door and hopped into the White Elephant and sped away.
    The End.

  2. cuate

    cuate New Member

    Whether Truth or Fiction, a wonderful story that ended well, finally...Had a pal that had income tax disagreement with IRS woman of the type in the elephant story...The IRS jumped his "What they wanted" from about $6K to
    $35K over the period it was being argued, his accountant filed personal bankruptcy and pal worked a couple or three years at two jobs to get out from under the IRS thumb.

    Today he is not what one would call a very patroitic American..Wonder why?
  3. Jesse17

    Jesse17 New Member

    Sure glad it worked out for you Sarge, but that sure pisses me off. That's the type of left wing BS that just pisses me off. :mad:

    Crap, now I'm going to have to find me a DA Zombie target too. :rolleyes:
  4. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member


    You could have knocked me over with a feather when the Judge lowered his voice and asked me if I used flint or cap. But looking back on it he did look like an old mountain man with that beard. I doubt if I will ever be that lucky again in my life time.
  5. Car54

    Car54 New Member

    The Sarge did well. The Sarge took it upon himself to be armed with a camera in his pursuit of justice. The Sarge on his own found the offending vehicle and with the Sarge's own hands took damaging photos of the crime scene. Then acting on his own, the Sarge went forth to seek truth, justice and the American Way. The Sarge, acting proud and being the underdog, after being scorned by a member of the opposite sex and in a higher position in life, produced the damaging evidence which eventually proved the Sarge's case.
  6. Neophyte1

    Neophyte1 New Member

    Life Story

    sarge_257: Sir, another of your wonderfully told "life'' stories:)