question about concealed carry and your spouse

Discussion in 'Concealed Carrying & Personal Protection' started by rurak, Dec 22, 2012.

  1. rurak

    rurak New Member

    1,589
    0
    0
    So I got into firearms after I got married. My wife likes shooting but she won't carry. We had a night out last night and went to dinner and saw a movie. I had my lc9 in my front pocket in a pocket holster the whole time. She didn't know about it until the movie theater. She told me she wishes I wouldn't carry it. Ive tried explaining why but she doesn't agree I guess. What is everyone elses experience with this?
     
  2. Rick1967

    Rick1967 Well-Known Member

    4,991
    47
    48
    When I first got my permit my wife wanted me to carry if I was out alone at night. That was the only time she thought I needed to carry. But I slowly started carrying more. She at first didnt like it. But one time a homeless guy came up to us and scared her. She asked if I had my gun. I said yes. She never protested again. Now I always carry except at work. My workplace has an employee ban.
     

  3. Barney1023

    Barney1023 New Member

    128
    0
    0
    Yea I don't think my wife was too keen on it at first but we have a female friend at church and overheard my wife saying how safe she felt knowing that at least two people that she knew of in church was carrying.
     
  4. robocop10mm

    robocop10mm Lifetime Supporting Member Lifetime Supporter

    11,380
    1
    0
    This was not a part of "you" when you married. You have changed. She has not. Unfortunately this is the kind of wedge between a couple.
     
  5. HOSSFLY

    HOSSFLY New Member

    6,932
    0
    0
    Tell her to pull her big girl panties up & deal with it-
     
  6. rurak

    rurak New Member

    1,589
    0
    0
    Thatb will go over like a lead balloon :)
     
  7. HOSSFLY

    HOSSFLY New Member

    6,932
    0
    0
    Mabe YOU need to put the big girl panties on- :p
     
  8. Daoust_Nat

    Daoust_Nat Well-Known Member Supporter

    3,419
    63
    48
    I got back into shooting a few years ago when we armed our 24 year old daughter who had a stalker issue. She went and got a CCW, an injunction against the dirtball and has not had a problem since.

    I used that to get my wife to agree that we should have a gun at home. She was not anti-gun, just not comfortable with them. I got my carry permit and started carrying. There were times she would say things like; "you are carrying here?" I would ask if she could guarantee there would not be a problem here. Since she couldn't she dropped it. Then came Aurora, CO and now she knows what I mean, and often asks if I have a gun with me. Which I do.

    Try talking with her about places like Aurora, or Newtown, CT, or VA Tech, or the McDonalds in San Diego many years ago. You don't expect an issue in those places, but those places certainly point out places that might have turned out differently if someone had been armed.
     
  9. rurak

    rurak New Member

    1,589
    0
    0
    We have talked about it. I'm continuing to carry whether she likes it or not
     
  10. HOSSFLY

    HOSSFLY New Member

    6,932
    0
    0
    Someday she may thank you in a very "special" way ;)
     
  11. rurak

    rurak New Member

    1,589
    0
    0
    Haha lets hope so
     
  12. freetobefree

    freetobefree New Member

    305
    0
    0
    Lol.... Sticky situation ....took mi.e shooting and explained to her why I carry ... Then bought her a TCP .380.... She understands why its important to me that she is safe ... And now its Important to her too...
     
  13. kfox75

    kfox75 Well-Known Member Supporter

    7,263
    145
    63
    Can't really help you with this Rurak. My wife is still pizzed that she can't carry at work. Btw, she is a school employee, and yes we have both signed the petition at Whitehouse.gov. We are also considering Texas as a serious option. And yes, I do follow the law, and disarm before going to her workplace. But it is under protest.
     
  14. Barney1023

    Barney1023 New Member

    128
    0
    0
    Not sure what state you live in but in ky. You can't carry in schools without permission of a school official. I noticed the other day my youngest child's school has the no weapons allowed sing but my older kids school don't I told my wife when school is back in I'm going to talk to the principal and see if its ok for a cdw holder to carry there or see what there view is on it. Couldn't hurt to ask. I looked on our state police website to see where u can and can't carry and that's where I found out its not totally illegal to carry there.
     
  15. kytowboater

    kytowboater Active Member

    7,180
    4
    38
    I was with my wife before I was 21, I slowly started to bring my guns into the house. It made her feel better when I bought a safe.

    Then I turned 21 and purchased a handgun, started to OC as I didn't have my CCDW at the time. THAT made her uncomfortable. However she let me go on my way about it.

    Sometimes she gets upset with me if I refuse to go into an establishment, that barrs the carry of my weapon. These days, I will leave it locked in the car in those cases, because I know she will be happier.

    Now, my wife has interests in firearms, enjoys going shooting with me, and wants to take her CCDW class. It's taken YEARS to get to this point. Little does she know, I plan on purchasing her a used revolver when I get home, yes, one that SHE picks out.

    It's not a fast process at all. When someone grows up in a non firearm home, a fear is created by the unknown. It stirs panic in the uneducated. As they say ignorance is bliss to some people.

    I wish anyone the best wishes, luck etc helping your spouse or family member, in guiding them into the light of gun ownership. My wife now has two long guns, and hopefully a revolver. This has come from " you can't bring that gun in the house" " keep the ammo at your dads" , to hey I like that one.
     
  16. Colby

    Colby New Member

    461
    0
    0
    I have a female friend who,2 years ago, was deathly afraid of guns. Divorced. From an abusive corrupt cop who beat her and threatened her with his gun. Every man in her life had told her she was a stupid female and incapable of shooting a gun - even though she asked many to take her shooting.

    Enter me - have had guns for many years - but was very inactive. Showed her a couple guns. She was afraid to even touch them!
    She eventually suggested going shooting - I took her - taught her to shoot. She did great! She is a good shot! Boosted her ego tremendously!
    She and I took the ccw class. She had the best groups in the class! Then bought a series of guns. (you know how it is - searching for the perfect gun... :)
    She now owns four guns! A 357 colt Trooper (her first gun), 38 Special S&W Airweight, Ruger LCP 380, and an M&P 22 as a range gun!
    I own similar - but go up into 9mm cal also.

    When we go places, she wants to know if I am armed - often times she is. She wants to know - feels safer. This from two years ago being terrified of guns.

    They can change... If they stay current on the news. And a big one - if they learn to shoot, themselves... and become very comfortable around guns and understand how the guns work - their shortcomings - safeties - fallibility of safeties, trigger pulls - safe ones versus touchy ones.. i.e. learning a lot about different guns and how they work - what is truly safe versus what is popular.

    They can change - when they become truly competent - not just a shadow of someone else and someone else's opinions - which may be flawed...

    I hope it works out for you - because truthfully - it is nice to have someone with you that also is watching out for the bad guy and is prepared and is capable...
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2012
  17. hardluk1

    hardluk1 Active Member

    2,879
    4
    38
    rurak Sounds like your on the right road talking it thru with your wife. But its not something no one here can really help you with . I was a shooter before my wife was in the picuture. She allways enjoyed shooting buy after 33 years together she out of the clear blue took a cc class and now carries too. BUT never would she have dared to tell me to not cc and I have carried for 26 years. We do not mess with others interest. Personal issues in a famitly are harder to deal with . It my take someone you guys no to get hurt or scared baddly for her to fully come around to you cc'n.

    Depending on your states law like her in NC we can not carry in a movie theather. Can't CC where you pay to inter and can't CC where they sell alcohol and most sell beer now. arrggg.
     
  18. kalboy26

    kalboy26 New Member

    173
    0
    0
    My wife was ok with guns in the house when we got married, but didn't really like me to carry. We got a ruger .22 pistol and I always took it camping or outdoors with us just to plink and let her get used to it. Once she got comfortable with that going all over with us, she got more ok with me carrying. Then it turned into "you don't have one in the chamber do you?". I usually replied, " I don't remember" and smiled and left it at that. 6 years later she got herself a revolver. It just takes time sometimes. I think the best thing is just to let her get used to handguns. Good luck.
     
  19. BlackWidow

    BlackWidow New Member

    69
    0
    0
    My wife is a very gentle person, but she has no illusions about the dangers in this world. She carries 100% of the time and is a pretty good shot.
     
  20. rurak

    rurak New Member

    1,589
    0
    0
    Thanks to everyone for their input. My wife likes to shoot, her father is a police officer but never brought his firearm home. Shes uncomfortable with me carrying. I told her with all the shootings lately it could happen anywhere. She says when its your time to go its your time ..... I certainly won't go without a fight!!!! I think she will come around eventually. She does enjoy the range time now so that's progress.