Politics Explained

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by dunerunner, Oct 5, 2009.

  1. dunerunner

    dunerunner New Member

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    DEMOCRAT

    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    You feel guilty for being successful.
    You push for higher taxes so the government can provide
    cows for everyone.



    REPUBLICAN

    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    So?



    SOCIALIST

    You have two cows.
    The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.



    COMMUNIST

    You have two cows.
    The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    You wait in line for hours to get it.
    It is expensive and sour.



    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

    You have two cows.
    You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows...



    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

    You have two cows.
    Under the new farm program the government pays you
    to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk
    down the drain.



    AMERICAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO
    on the 2nd one.
    You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
    You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
    You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you
    have downsized and are reducing expenses.
    Your stock goes up.



    FRENCH CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    You go on strike because you want three cows.
    You go to lunch and drink wine.
    Life is good.



    JAPANESE CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
    ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
    They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
    Most are at the top of their class at cow school.



    GERMAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of
    beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred
    miles an hour.
    Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation
    per year.



    ITALIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
    You break for lunch..
    Life is good.



    RUSSIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    You have some vodka..
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You have some more vodka.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
    cows you really have.



    TALIBAN CORPORATION

    You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
    You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
    creature's private parts.
    You get a $40 million grant from the US government
    to find alternatives to milk production but use the
    money to buy weapons.



    IRAQI CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    They go into hiding.
    They send radio tapes of their mooing.




    POLISH CORPORATION

    You have two bulls.
    Employees are regularly maimed and killed
    attempting to milk them.



    BELGIAN CORPORATION

    You have one cow.
    The cow is schizophrenic.
    Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times
    he's Flemish.
    The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
    The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's
    milk.
    The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
    The cow dies happy.



    FLORIDA CORPORATION

    You have a black cow and a brown cow.
    Everyone votes for the best looking one.
    Some of the people who actually like the brown
    one best accidentally vote for the black one.
    Some people vote for both.
    Some people vote for neither.
    Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
    Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you
    which one you think is the bestlooking cow.



    CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

    You have millions of cows.
    They make real California cheese.
    Only five speak English.
    Most are illegal.
    Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
     
  2. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    ...and there it is. :D
     

  3. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    Funny one Dunner :D I will never look at a cow the same way again. They are way to important. :eek:

    Jack