Last night, our daughter was at the neighbor's house watching a movie, so the wife and I decide to go to Wal Mart sans kid to pick up her last few "I want ___________ for Christmas" presents. After we get done in white trash hell, we stop for coffee at my Circle K on the way home. While I wait for the pot to brew (yes, I AM picky and like my coffee fresh) a little commotion starts by the register. Nothing violent, just some douchebag cussing the girl behind the counter because she is refusing a tobacco and alcohol sale due to no ID. I get our coffee and head toward the counter. The guy has a 750ml bottle of Rare Reserve Vodka (think rubbing alcohol in a plastic bottle) and two packs of GPC 100's on the counter. Now the guy is cussing more loudly....dropping the F Bomb, the C Word, and generally being a douchebag. As yet, no crime has been comitted, as the clerk has not asked him to leave, and disturbing the peace on private property, even in a public access location is a hard one to make stick. Finally...I suggest to the clerk, that she ask him to leave, to give ME or my wife who is a currently serving officer grounds to act. The clerk takes the hint, and tells the douchebag to leave. He refuses, and picks up the vodka and smokes. He puts the smokes into his pocket, and sticks the vodka into his jacket. BINGO....Now his ass belongs to ME. He has refused to leave (criminal trespass), AND BINGO...SHOPLIFTING (of a controlled substance). My wife shows her badge and identifies herself, and gives him a chance to put the items back on the counter and leave. He gets mouthy with her...there's that C Word again...and the "What'cha gonna do? You ain't ****...blah blah blah...I got people 'round here....blah blah blah..." The next thing he knows....he's face down on the counter, getting hooked up. My wife would have made a GREAT partner...she had her cuffs out of her purse while I put him into an arm bar, and she hooked him up...and I never had to say a word to her. On the search incidental and pursuant to arrest, my wife found not one but TWO gram bindles of meth. Stupid tweakers. I use my cell to call the direct line to dispatch and have a cruiser come by and transport him to the jail. The deputy who came by called a hook to have his truck towed and we gave him the arrest. Paperwork avoidance. We were only a little late getting home. Good time had by all. Who says there's not a cop around when you need one? The moral of this story....Don't go to jail for being stupid.