Norris-Isms....

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Dillinger, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    So, Chuck Norris might run for President of Texas ( I vote yes ) and that got a few of us going on the mighty things that Chuck Norris can cause, stop from happening, or do.

    Now, I don't want to get some Yay Who publishing the whole list in one post - but let's have some fun with naming off one or two of them at a time...

    Chuck Norris recently issued a warning to MySpace indicating they should release the name rights to what he calls "Everything Around Me".

    When an early episode of Walker: Texas Ranger was aired by mistake on a French TV Station, the country surrendered themselves to Chuck Norris, just in case....

    JD
     
  2. ScottG

    ScottG New Member

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    Haven't we done this before?
     

  3. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    Nope. 22 threads with Chuck Norris mentioned, but we haven't done a thread about Norris-isms.... There have been references to him and his bad assery, but not a thread devoted to it....
     
  4. sgtdeath66

    sgtdeath66 New Member

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    chuck norris once ran around the world backwards so fast he kicked his own a$$:D
     
  5. dcp1987

    dcp1987 New Member

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    chuck norris has counted to infinity ... twice
    chuck norris once made love to mona lisa. That is why she smiles.
     
  6. ScottG

    ScottG New Member

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    Musta been somewheres else.... :eek:
     
  7. BPond

    BPond New Member

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    Chuck Norris does not breathe. He holds air hostage.
     
  8. bigbad-ratman

    bigbad-ratman New Member

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    if you rearange the letters of: Walker Texas Ranger, you get: Karate S*x Wrangler.
     
  9. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    The Hand of Chuck Norris does indeed beat a Royal Flush.

    Chuck Norris once participated in the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain. He said it was a quiet afternoon stroll...
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2009
  10. chopkick

    chopkick New Member

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    When the Boogey Man goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. :cool:
     
  11. Gun-shy

    Gun-shy New Member

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    Daylight saving time is based upon how far Chuck Norris walks east or west in a given year.
     
  12. Franciscomv

    Franciscomv New Member

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    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
     
  13. dragunovsks

    dragunovsks New Member

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    I got a better one! Daylight saving time is based upon how far the bodies of the guys azzes he kicked would stretch if layed end to end in a given year.
     
  14. JiroZero713

    JiroZero713 Active Member

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    Chuck Norris once went back in time to stop the Kennedy assasination.

    He stopped 3 bullets with his beard at which point JFK's head exploded in sheer Amazment.
     
  15. Bighead

    Bighead New Member

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    There is no theory of evolution, only a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.

    When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

    [​IMG]
     
  16. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    By Presidential decree, every time Chuck Norris trims his beard, the whiskers are gathered and buried at Arlington with full honors.

    Chuck Norris doesn't wear a cup, he wears a barrel.
     
  17. gorknoids

    gorknoids New Member

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    While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

    For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
     
  18. Hot Sauce NARC

    Hot Sauce NARC New Member

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    CHUCK NORRIS doesn't sleep, HE WAITS!

    CHUCK NORRIS knows what would happen when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object-HE accidentally punched himself in the face once.
     
  19. Ghillie-Monster

    Ghillie-Monster New Member

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    Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with Beef Jerky.

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving Door.

    Chuck Norris' home has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
     
  20. Gojubrian

    Gojubrian New Member

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    An episode of Walker Texas Ranger once aired in France. The French surrendered to Chuck norris just to be on the safe side. :D