New Military recruit training standards

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by zhuk, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. zhuk

    zhuk New Member

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    New Military Recruit Training Standards


    WASHINGTON - (AP) In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:

    HAIRCUTS:

    Marines-heads will be shaved.
    Army-flat-tops for all recruits.
    Navy-no haircut standard.
    Air Force-complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.



    TRAINING HOURS:

    Marines-rise at 0500, train until 2000.
    Army-rise at 0600, train until 1900.
    Navy-rise at 0900, train until 1100, lunch til 1300, train till 1600.
    Air Force-rise at 1000, breakfast in bed, lunch at 1200, nap at 1400, training ceases at 1500.



    MEALS:

    Marines-Meals-Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
    Army-one hot meal, 2 MRE's.
    Navy-3 hot meals.
    Air Force-catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Childs, and Wolfgang Puck. All you can eat.



    LEAVE and LIBERTY:

    Marines-none.
    Army-4 hours a week.
    Navy-2 days a week.
    Air Force-for every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.



    PROTOCOL:

    Marines-will address all officers as "Sir" and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e. Sgt Smith).
    Army-will address all officers as "Sir", unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel Sarge.
    Navy-will address all officers as Skipper, and all enlisted personnel as Chief.
    Air Force-all Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with all other personnel.



    DECORATIONS/AWARDS:

    Marines-medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery.
    Army-medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
    Navy-will have ships engineers make medals for them as needed.
    Air Force-will be issued all medals as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers.



    CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORMS:

    Marines-work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.
    Army-will wear it anytime, anywhere.
    Navy-will not wear cammies, they do not camouflage you on a ship. Captains will make every effort to TRY to explain this to our sailors.
    Air Force-will defeat the purpose of camouflage by putting blue and grey service chevrons and name tapes on them.



    CAREER FIELDS:

    Marines-all Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
    Army-doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment
    Navy-nobody knows. Navy still trying figure out what all the SMC, BNC, BSN, and all the other ratings things are.
    Air Force-every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.


    :p
     
  2. AcidFlashGordon

    AcidFlashGordon New Member

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    THAT is going to be copied and posted by my desk. The majority of people I work with, including my lead tech and supervisor, are former "wing waxers" and many will get a kick out of this list. Not too sure about our projos (project officers) though, seeing as how they're active Air Force.

    But, joke 'em if they can't take a f**k. [​IMG]
     

  3. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    As a former Airman, I take umbrage with the term "wing waxer". I prefer "Wing Nut".

    :cool:
     
  4. JCubed

    JCubed New Member

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    I'm going to have to show this to my grandfather. He was a belly gunner in a B52 (I think) during World War 2 so he might get some humor from it. :)
     
  5. dicky0331

    dicky0331 New Member

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  6. Grey

    Grey New Member

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    Funny how ppl who aren't in ANY military branch are the ones making all the jokes.
     
  7. wst tx hunter

    wst tx hunter New Member

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    a damned marine must have wrote it.(kidding) My dad was 20 yrs airforce(FLYBOYS) I was army my daughter is marine? and a nephew in the army.be proud and respect anybody who has served even if they are just flyboys.
     
  8. AcidFlashGordon

    AcidFlashGordon New Member

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    I'm not currently in any military branch. Ex-Army here. Father spent 30 years in the Corps which is what I grew up with. I'm quite sure many of the "jokers" are also former military. We can laugh and make jokes because we lived it.
     
  9. mrm14

    mrm14 Active Member

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    Probably a B-17 or B-24. B-52 didn't come around till the 1950's and it didn't have a belley gun.
     
  10. zhuk

    zhuk New Member

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    I think all the defence branches have a time-honoured tradition of inter-service insulting...if a commando I know is anything to go by ;)
     
  11. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    Inter-Service rivalry and joshing is a long established and rich tradition. ;)
     
  12. Grey

    Grey New Member

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    Never said anything about former military makin jokes, thats fine.

    Its all dandy but civilians do the same and I find it annoying.
    And Im a civilian, lol.