Need some advice

Discussion in 'General Handgun Discussion' started by PeterLuger, Nov 4, 2012.

  1. PeterLuger

    PeterLuger New Member

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    Hey guys, so here is my dilemma:

    Im 13 years old (a bit more mature for my age) and live with my dad for about 5 months. He already took me several times to the range, and ever since I discovered about firearms (about 8 years old) have become addicted.
    My first time to the range was when I was 10 years old, and Dad took me there to see if I would let go a bit of my addiction, for me to see that it wasnt that big of a deal. Since my mom (separated from dad) had a trauma (spent 8 hours in a car with a gun to her head, she is better now), the moment she discovered, she put up a big scene and prohibited my dad to take me to the range.
    Since now she is cool with it, sometimes dad and I go shooting, but always use rentals, since his S&W pistol uses a diferent type of .38 cartridge.
    We live in Brazil and in December we go to Orlando, where I am buying an airsoft gun, since I cant have a real one.
    Now, i am not one of those little pricks of sons, I truly love my family and have a great relanshionship with my dad, but every time I talk about firearms with him, its like he doesnt like to talk about them, and i see threads that people show guns that they got at my age, so I would like to buy one.
    Could you guys help me out, I really like guns and have responsability, because even though theyre fun, they kill.
    I really want to buy or to get a handgun, but dont know how to talk about it with my dad.
     
  2. Hectocotylus

    Hectocotylus New Member

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    It is not legal to own a firearm as a citizen in brazil. FYI.
     

  3. PeterLuger

    PeterLuger New Member

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    Just to add:
    Its not like he evades talking about them, he evades having a whole conversation about them. For example: today on "pawn shop" a guy brought in a Colt SAA, and he called me to watch it with him, but to have an entire conversation, its like he is unconfortable.
     
  4. PeterLuger

    PeterLuger New Member

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    He is a shooter, and he has all the documentation, etc. So technically, he can.
     
  5. PeterLuger

    PeterLuger New Member

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    Are you brazilian?
     
  6. AsSeenOnTV

    AsSeenOnTV New Member

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    if it is legal to buy one in Brazil at that age, and your dad has strong feelings about it, see if you can buy it and he can lock it up and only let you 'use' it when going shooting together, until you are old enough to get a job and move out and live by your own rules. I never bought one at that age, but went out shooting waaay before that with my family.
     
  7. PeterLuger

    PeterLuger New Member

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    Exactly, but im not gonna buy, i mean, it could be with my money, but officialy, its gotta be him.
     
  8. GrizzlyGurl

    GrizzlyGurl New Member

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    You are asking how to talk to your dad about eventually buying a handgun? This is something that might need to get some digging into between you and him. There's walls he is putting up for some reason or another. He's not avoiding the part of you both enjoying the same things, its something he specifically isn't ready for, and it is likely fear that is holding him back.
    I recommend you be careful with this as you try to figure out whats going on. You might need to try and get into his head a little bit. Think like a grown up and picture why he might be afraid. You may even need to initiate a "man to man" sit-down discussion and get him to open up. He's been raising you and teaching you for a very long time about guns so he knows this will eventually happen. This isn't a conversation like how you'd convince your parents to let you get your driver's permit. You are trying to convince your dad to let you get a tool that is designed to kill, not go to your first job or going off to college. Don't be surprised if he bundles up, blocks you off, and deviates the discussion with a disciplinary voice. Just be careful and tread lightly.
     
  9. PeterLuger

    PeterLuger New Member

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    You see, the world needs more people like you. Thanks dude (or dudette). I realize that this is not something easy, and I will talk to him in a more man-to-man manner. Thank you very much. Since its sonething my family originally has (my grandpa was in the army, my dad is a shooter, my granduncle has a ppk, etc.) it will probably be a bit easier and all around a good idea. Thanks.
     
  10. AsSeenOnTV

    AsSeenOnTV New Member

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    And it wouldn't hurt to man up and start taking on more responsibilities without being asked, like mowing the lawn, or sugar cane or whatever it is you guys have for property down there. lol
    Take out the trash before it gets overflowing, clean your room. volunteer to do the dishes. Stop fighting with your brothers and sisters if any. Help mom out around the house and not talk back to her, etc
    Maybe when your father sees you are growing up and being responsible it will be easier for him to think you are ready for a real gun.
     
  11. Balota

    Balota ... but I used to play keyboards.

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    You said your mom was traumatized by a hostage situation. Were your mom and dad married at that time? Your mom may not be the only victim. Your dad may also have some issues about that situation. He might be concerned about your mom's reaction. At first it was extremely negative, but now she's ok with it. Maybe your dad still worries about whether she's really ok with it. There's a lot of possible reasons behind your dad's reluctance.

    Even in the US, there are age restrictions on gun ownership. Make sure you aren't pushing dad into something he isn't legally allowed to do.

    Also, +1 on AsSeenOnTV comment above. Actions speak louder than words. Consistent mature behavior such as he was suggesting will go a long way to persuading dad about your level of responsibility.

    Hang in there. It's not forever!
     
  12. PeterLuger

    PeterLuger New Member

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    My parents were married at the time (not any more) but my dads only worries were about here. He got mugged twice the same month (Brazil for you) and was totally cool. He is actually a really chill guy (when it is appropriate of course)
     
  13. AsSeenOnTV

    AsSeenOnTV New Member

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    I believe only in Somalia, and the middle east, etc it is common for children to 'play' with guns.
     
  14. PeterLuger

    PeterLuger New Member

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    We live in an apartment, so there is not much I can do, since the maid takes out the trash, and there is no lawn, but I guess I could do the dinner dishes once in a while, and my parents are divorced, so im with my mom only on weekends.
    I think he knows im responsible you know, cause this last bimester ive had a little fallback in school, and we had various talks about responsability. In all of them I did the best I could to demonstrate my total dedication, I study every weekend, sometimes with him, maybe its just a matter of time, and the way I approach the situation.
     
  15. PeterLuger

    PeterLuger New Member

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    I want to thank every one of you guys that read my giant post and took the time to help me. I really appreciate your help and support of me, ny situation and, instead of saying that Im to young, imature and unready, actually helped me. My sincere thanks to you guys, you rock.
     
  16. Axxe55

    Axxe55 The Apocalypse Is Coming.....

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    hang in there Peter and take it in small steps. actions speak louder than words, so show your parents you are responsible by acting responsible. sounds like you are going in the right direction. good luck.
     
  17. AsSeenOnTV

    AsSeenOnTV New Member

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    Other than not old enuff to tell the differences in ones gender, it sounds like you are on your way to being a fine young man. :)
     
  18. GrizzlyGurl

    GrizzlyGurl New Member

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    Yes, it would be a good idea to do more around the house with responsibility, but pay attention to how you are doing it, because I personally don't think you want him realizing you are doing things around the house to get "something". This is more to be an adjustment of behavior that is appropriate, not pushed or rushed.
    My mom would figure out my little brother wants something because he starts doing chores, forgets about his goal in the first place and falls off track when he's actually asked to do something simple. His light bulb goes off and pushes to get the job done suddenly in a rushed manner. She's now in the "alright, what is it now? You want to go out tonight, hang out with friends or what?" This is something beyond "half-assing".
    An idea, though, is that in doing that serious conversation, you can talk about you yourself realizing that you want to be more serious and commiting to be a more productive member of this house. And stick with that commitment! If he's the kind of man and father I think he is, he will test you at what kind of man you want yourself to be.
    That might sound odd, but its the same concept to asking your parent to help pay for a private college when you've been skating by highschool and never joining a single club and never volunteering. That parent just might be concerned that you'd drop out or get kicked out, and picturing the result of them losing thousands of dollars and their kid now seen as a failure. What if he's going through similar fears about you owning a gun? or what might happen when you and a gun are in the same room but he's not and something bad happens?
    Long story short. Show the world and yourself that you are smart and responsible, let alone smart and responsible ENOUGH where you can be TRUSTED alone with a gun. That trust can go a long way.
     
  19. Axxe55

    Axxe55 The Apocalypse Is Coming.....

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    GG, that's some excellent advice. very well said.
     
  20. PeterLuger

    PeterLuger New Member

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    Hehe thanks man