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Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Gojubrian, May 22, 2011.
1. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
2. "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." (Army's magazine of preventive maintenance ).
3. "Aim towards the Enemy."
(Instruction printed on US M79 Rocket Launcher)
4. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
(U.S. Marine Corps)
5. Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
(U.S. Air Force)
6. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
7. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
(US Air Force Manual)
8. Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
9. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.
10. You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me.
(Marine Gunnery Sergeant)
11. Tracers work both ways.
(US Army Ordnance)
12. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
13. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
(US Navy Seaman)
14. Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
15. If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.
16. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
17. Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.
18. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
(Unknown Marine Recruit)
19. Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
20. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
(Army Platoon Sergeant)
21. If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.
22. Your job is to kill the other person before they kill you so that your national leaders can negotiate a peace that will last as long as it takes the ink to dry.
23. In the Navy, the Chief is always right.
(Written on the door into the Chiefs quarters)
While that is funny, there is a lot of truths contained right there.
One of my favorites is:
"If you, or your team, is not under fire....
If you, or your team, are not hit, bleeding out or dead....
If you, or your team, are not being pursued across unfamiliar terrain by hostile forces....
Then you are NOT in a situation where you need to be 'stressed out'."
I really enjoy posts like this, Military humor/common sense is great!
I appreciate military humor much more since I've been a civilian.
A forty minute "refresher" on claymores. Forty minutes, seriously? Two leads, basic electricity fellas. The damn mine says "this side toward enemy". I don't think it takes forty minutes.
And if you f'd it up the first time, chances are this is not a refresher. Top thought it was funny. The Major didn't. Infantry guys are dumb, but S3 is lacking common sense.
Great stuff, thank you Jack!
"There are 4 ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, the Army way, and Tango's way. Tango's way was always right.." - Tango...
I luaghed out loud.