Manly Ranting Rules Thread Thingy

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Benning Boy, Jul 30, 2009.

  1. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    A number of recent threads have served to stoke an angry fire inside of me.

    It's my fault, really. I've apparently been asleep at the wheel, and the world as I know it has changed immensely.

    I was unaware, for example, that boys wore toenail polish. I pointed that thread out to the wife, and she was unfazed. Further into the thread, J.D. pointed out that boys are shopping in the girl section for clothes.

    I did not know this s**t.

    Spittinfire pointed out to me that a real man would go python hunting with a 3 inch Gerber.

    I'll go you one better.

    I'm ditching every knife I have, and I'm making my own. With a 6" blade. I've decided anything with less is hetero-challenged.

    I'm diching my wardrobe, as well. My clothes will come only from the Tractor Supply Company.

    Same for the guns. I'm selling off all but the shotgun and the Mosin, and using the proceeds for that Redhawk I've been waffling on. If it's not a .44, I don't see a use.
     
  2. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    I too was unaware that boys shop for clothing in the girls section. How do those pants have enough room for the twig and berries? Dear God I hope they aren't buying panties.

    What are you going to make your knife out of?
     

  3. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    I've got some dead bushes, and a burn pile. I've got some firewood, a hammer, and a sidewalk.

    I'm going to the farm store, and whatever chunk of metal they have, I'm buying. I am going to hammer and forge a bowie.

    I'm going to roll my own cigarettes.

    Then it's off to Wally World, where I'm going to hang out in the women's clothes section. If I see a guy looking at jeans, I'm going to make negative sexual orientation comments. If he wants to fight, I'm going to kick him in the head, and give him an arm bar.
     
  4. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    Yore shore right, enuff' is enuff! :eek:
     
  5. Samples.32

    Samples.32 New Member

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    Worse than that boys wear eye liner and mascara they wear pink tshirts and a majority of them carry a bag that in my opinion looks like a purse, but somehow it isn't. They spend more time getting ready than I do in the morning granted it only takes me about 5 minutes, but it takes them about 30 or so. They go on diets. They enjoy the mall and picking out clothes. There is so much more that would tick you off just visit your local mall :p
     
  6. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    It's just effin scary. The wife told me about how many guys at her office have manicures.

    I will do my own manicure. With my Bowie Knife.

    Apparently, guys paint their toenails to show support for an athletic team.

    There's a word for that. It's cheerleader.

    In my youth cheerleaders served one ultimate purpose.
     
  7. jwhirl413

    jwhirl413 New Member

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    every time i see those idiots out in public i just shake my head...if the shtf they will be some of the first to die off...what ever happened to boys will be boys, now it seems boys wanna be girls...
     
  8. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    Do these people even deserve the title of man?
     
  9. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    Girlie man maybe. :rolleyes:
     
  10. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    No, and that's the crux of the matter.

    Movies were a good indicator. A manly movie comes out, with a manly character doing manly things, and it's an "Over the top male fantasy."

    Bull. Guys, at one time, did this stuff. Now a bunch of little Emo dorks walk around the cineplex, and think all that they see is fantasy. A guy couldn't train with all his heart and become a world champion boxer. A Special Forces guy couldn't go crazy b@lls out and take out people who kidnap his kid. Forage for your own food and build a shelter in the wilderness? Impossible.

    Rules for the Man Title were laid out to me, and clearly.

    A man has a job. I started part time work as a 13 year old, and I was given a small degree of say so in my house.

    A man defends his own. A cop would take half an hour to get to me. I can eliminate a threat and make coffee and sandwiches for the cops arrival in that time.

    Talk straight. Alot of people think I'm being funny when I say I don't like them, as if telling somebody such a thing so bluntly just isn't possible.

    Where my boys at?
     
  11. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    I'm with ya brother! Got my first job at 12, saved my money and bought my first gun later that year.

    And no BS, why can't people just tell it like it is anymore. If something needs to be said, say it!

    Give a firm handshake, look other men in the face when you talk to them, and KEEP YOUR WORD!!
     
  12. AsmelEduardo

    AsmelEduardo New Member

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    EMOs WTF?!

    I was talking about the same subject with my brother, he still in college... and he said something about "EMO" people... I was intrigued and ask more... when he show me some pics from the internet I was shocked... specially that you can find those turds in a macho society like Venezuela, if I would thinked any "emo" thing when I was 15 or so... I would probably still trying to erase the scars off my legs, I would have "straightened" with my father's belt. :rolleyes:

    WTF is supposed to be this?
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2009
  13. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    Where I'm from we'd call that gay.
     
  14. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    Hell, I think they are all in training to see who can be women's hairdressers or interior decorators. Snap!!! :rolleyes:
     
  15. NGIB

    NGIB New Member

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    It's nice having a son-in-law from West Virginia. He sees things the way they are meant to be in this world. If my daughter would have brought home one of those "new era" boys - I might have had to take him out...
     
  16. Troy Michalik

    Troy Michalik Is it Friday yet? Supporter

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    We're here Benning, we're right here with you.

    I believe that some of what you are referring to is covered in the RetroSexual Code. It's sad that we have to have a special code or rules or man law to explain what a man does and does not do. But here it is; and it's a blood oath I take to uphold these values.
    ~~~
    A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

    A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.

    A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

    A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

    A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.

    A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods).

    A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.

    A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be.--(This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.)

    A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

    A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.

    A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a frou-frou little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

    A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak tree chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

    A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

    A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot.

    A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.

    A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

    A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot.

    Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.

    A Retrosexual man's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" (unless that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy or whiskey), or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." Acceptable ones may include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in his better days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy, Scarface, The Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I, II, or III, Full Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt, any Bruce Lee movie, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, etc.etc.

    When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.

    A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner.

    A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.

    A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

    A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride on a plow berm.

    A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants.

    A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above 2nd Lt)

    NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.

    A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.

    A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT.
     
  17. AsmelEduardo

    AsmelEduardo New Member

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    It seems that now most of the 13-17 years old kids around are EMO and/or thinks that's ok to be one.... :eek:
    [​IMG]
     
  18. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    Good post Troy. +++ Infinity. EMO my ass, they look like Elmo, which rhymes with homo. :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2009
  19. bobbyb13

    bobbyb13 New Member

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    Thanks, sore spot

    My Sons, 26 and 29 learned early. You wear jeans with a frigging belt around your waist. The bill of a cap goes in front. You know how to plant a garden, and can beans, corn, and maters. Deer season you shoot a couple of young does, can, and eat them. You carry a pocket knife. Yes, and NO are perfectly acceptable answers. Take your hat off in the house. Yes Sir, and No Sir are the correct answer to your elders. Hold the door for older folks or women. Don't know someone, it is Mr. or Miss, or Mrs. When you give your word it means something. Through raving now. NO I'm not. When there is hay, cattle, or garden to take care of. Get it done. Then go screw around.
     
  20. bobbyb13

    bobbyb13 New Member

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    Emo?

    Is that a new way to say faggot?