Lt. Linda is mean to Sarge

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by sarge_257, Nov 27, 2011.

  1. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    First some background on this story..
    Here in Colorado this spring we had some very bad weather. Everything from tornados to snow, to hail and high winds hit us in June. Our house roof and garage roof was damaged and Sarge worked 3 weeks repairing the house roof and by Sept. he was ready to start on the roof for the garage. A preliminary inspection showed more than just hail and wind damage and all the soffets were rotted and had to be replaced. On the North side of the garage was barely enough room between the garage and the neighbors fence for the ladder and it was a tight squeeze to the fence. On one of many trips up and down the ladder, Sarge managed to hit the steel fence post with his left elbow. One of those cracks that just had to hit the funny bone and it was not funny in any way. But after a few well chosen Army words Sarge continued on with his work. Now usually anything short of decapitation will heal for Sarge in a week or less.
    This arm did not.
    Three weeks later he commented to Lt. Linda that his arm and elbow still hurt from that hit on the fence post. She, a loving wife, immediately advised Sarge to make a Doctor appointment. But Sarge being male and stubborn said, " Naw it will heal up." Well three months has passed and Sarge is unable to use that arm. He could not lift anything with it or even open a jar lid with that hand and arm. He was begining to think the Lt. was right.
    And then one cold night when the couple was snuggled up close in Sarges double size Army Cot, he noticed the Lt. was restless and tossing in her sleep. So being a loving husband he put his left arm (the bad one) over and patted her on her derriere. She reacted to that helpful carress by quickly rolling over toward Sarge and in the process trapped his left arm under her body. Sarge felt pain and then heard a "POP" and then really, really felt PAIN. Now Sarge is not one to scream or cry when he is hit with pain. But this was a Army words pain and he let out a YELP and dragged his arm out of under his wife. Moaning and groaning he turned over and tried to hold the arm in a neutral position to keep the pain level down. The next thing he knew he awoke 4 hours later and his arm did not hurt at all. He worked the joints and NO PAIN. As near as he can figure ou, he did not just hit the funny bone but knocked the elbow out of it's socket. When the good Lt. Linda rolled over on it, the POP was her weight (he has never been more happy that she is a little over weight) popped the elbow bone back into it's socket.
    Now while this treatment worked with Sarge, he doesn't reccommend it for any other soldiers with limbs detached. Unless you happen to be sleeping with your lady doctor, maybe it would be all right. But it worked and the next morning Sarge put his arm (the bad one now working fine) around his lovely wife and told her what had happened during the night and if he had said something coarse to her in his moment of pain he apologized for it. She was very happy and said she had a list of things she has been wanting Sarge to do and she would get it for him right now.
    Now isn't that mean?
    Sarge the wounded warrior.
     
  2. texaswoodworker

    texaswoodworker New Member

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    Great story. I'm glad your arm is better. Good luck with the chores.
     

  3. towboater

    towboater Active Member

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    Great story, great wife. She got ya fixed right up.
     
  4. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    Yeah, Lt. Linda was right. Did you doubt that for a moment? :mad:

    She fixed your dislocated elbow. She had a list of things for you to do now that SHE healed you. Is she mean? Nah. I would have handed you a list of things to do AND sent you a bill for the medical treatment.

    Now quite your whining and get busy..........

    [​IMG]

    And, you must be tough as nails because a dislocation is pretty darned painful.
     
  5. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    Mean Wife

    LOL LOL LOL I liked your reply.
    As I mentioned the men in our family all carry the stubborn trait. But we also have other traits.
    A good work ethic is one. I continued to work on the garage roof in spite of the crack on my elbow. The reason for that stupidity comes from my mothers side of the family. Her Yaqui Indian blood line gives us an ability to ignore pain. And as a good example I have had 3 wives, so I am an expert on ignoring pain. The stuborness comes from Dad's family which has 1/4 Dutch blood and the romanticism I exhibited when my wifey was tossing and turning came from Dad's French blood.
    One more point: When you marry a nurse it is in the marriage contract that you get free medical. Marrying a nurse was one of the smartest things I ever did, considering the number of motorcycle accidents, falls out of trees, and other miscellaneous cuts, sprains, broken bones I have encured. LOL
    I have most of the "Honey Doo" list completed and am taking a break to catch up on my email. Thanks for your reply, I loved it.
    Sarge
     
  6. Sniper03

    Sniper03 Supporting Member Supporter

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    Sarge,

    We can't wait to hear the Bill she is getting ready to send you for her Medical Services. :D You did advise LT? Could that be MD!
    Glad she was able to fix it for you! That is a great thing since you suffered so long with it. I know all about being stubborn! We must be related from what my wife tells me about being stubborn! Take Care!

    03
     
  7. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    Well, this explains a lot. I am very sensitive to pain and I don't handle it well. I would have been even more mean than Lt. Linda and handed you a medical bill.

    Now I know why I've only been married once and that was many years ago.


    Now, to further prove what witch I am, should we discuss the unnecessary comment on the world wide web that Lt. Linda is a little overweight? :)

    You know I luv you and your stories, don't you, Sarge?
     
  8. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    Yeh when you are as active as I am, as clumsy as I am, and a guy with as many hobbies as I got, it helps a lot to be married to a nurse. She is a dandy and has 8 or 9 guns of her own. You just got to love a little Southern gal like that. (born in Mobile Alabama)
    Sarge
     
  9. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    Winds of change, For a long time I thought her extra pounds were just from eating too much. One day I was looking through the medicine cabinet and saw she had some Thyroid pills. The next time I was at my Doctor for my regular check up I asked him what the Thyroid gland did. He explained that it regulated a lot of things and if it was not working properly the person could gain a lot of weight and have other problems. Well that hit me right between the eyes. When I got home I took my wife to the bedroom and closed the door and told her I found out about her thyroid problem and I apologised for any remarks that I might have made about her weight. I really did not know that she had a medical problem. She gave me a hug and a kiss and we both felt better I am sure.
    Sarge
     
  10. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    What the.............? Are you crazy? :eek: And I'm not talking about the apology. I'm talking about "any comments you made about her weight" in the first place.
     
  11. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    My wife is pleasantly plump and I think she's the sexiest woman alive. Just thought I'd throw that out there.
     
  12. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    Crazy

    I admit to having times of stupidity. But I am not to dumb that I don't know when I should apologise. The fact that she has been married to me for 31 years shows she does forgive my dumbness.
    Sarge
     
  13. rooster

    rooster New Member

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    nature at work , better and alot cheaper than a trip to the doctor
     
  14. shadamai

    shadamai New Member

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    Wow, that is a long time to deal with that pain! You're lucky your wife fixed it for you ;)

    I did something like that when I used to play basketball...took a fall, limped around for a few days until I got knocked down again and then the knee felt better. It's funny how that works sometimes.
     
  15. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    luck

    I would guess you and I have what is called "DUMB LUCK" LOL LOL