Lt Linda goes after Sarge with a broom.

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by sarge_257, Dec 15, 2010.

  1. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    Now Lt. Linda is a nice little Alabama gal and of more or less even temperment. Not to say she doesn't get her back up every now and then but the most that happens is she tosses a few dishes on the floor. Nothing real violent. And she hasn't hit Sarge yet with a dish. Real poor shot. But the other night she had Sarge wondering what happened to his sweet little Southern Belle. It happened like this.
    Sarge is sleeping peacefully, dreaming about deer and elk, guns and bows and classic cars. His usual dreams. OK throw in a couple of long haired blonds in there sometimes. And that was what was on Sarges sleeping mind when all of a sudden Lt. Linda JUMPS OUT OF BED! And grabs a big stick (broom) and standing over a sleepy eyed Sarge raises it over her head and STRIKES! the ceiling two or three times.
    "NO Honey, I didn't buy a new gun, honest!" mumbles Sarge, "and I don't even know the blondes name." WHAP WHAP WHAP, she lands blow after blow, all of them missing Sarge as she hits the ceiling time after time. Then the now wide awake Sarge sees a black spot in front of his eyes. Coming closer and closer and closer.
    A BIG BLACK SPIDER!! And he is jumping to freedom from LT. Linda's frantic blows! And of course Sarge is right under his landing zone.
    Thanks to Sarge's terrific physical condition and exceptional reflexes he leaps out of the bed, knocking everything off the night stand. But he avoids Lt. Linda's death blow landing right where he was laying and unfortunately right where the now deceased spider lays smashed.
    "Gulp" thinks Sarge, "that could have been me. Don't mess with this little lady."
    But there is nothing more fun then making a bed with your lady at 2 am in the morning. Especially if you wrinkle it up a few times and have to make it again. A happy ending if I ever seen one.
    Sarge the almost victim.
     
  2. Neophyte1

    Neophyte1 New Member

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    women and bugs:)

    Lt. Linda:) hahaha; ''good excuse'' haha,:)
    It happens here too Sarge:)
     

  3. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    spyder

    All that adrenalin she got up had to be used up somehow,you know.
    Sarge
     
  4. SecPro

    SecPro New Member

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    I could picture it now, Sarge making victim noises dodging LT. Linda. hahahah Surprisingly I have not had it happen yet... Although I have learned that Puerto Rican women really love throwing things and to always be on guard.
     
  5. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    women and their missles.

    I can agree with that. Mom was born in Mexico and with 8 in the family with 6 of them women I grew up learning to dodge in a split second. Luckily the were all lousy aims.
    Sarge LOL
     
  6. WDB

    WDB New Member

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    Lucky the LT got the spider before the sarge screamed like a school girl:D She has you six, sleep easy.
     
  7. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    spider

    Normally Lt. Linda is a quiet unasumming lady as befits a Southern Lady. But she hates spyders. LOL
    Sarge
     
  8. SecPro

    SecPro New Member

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    Sadly the woman has pretty good aim, but sometimes I get lucky.
     
  9. BunnyWabbit

    BunnyWabbit New Member

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    Sarge? How come in all your stories you are always in exceptional physical condition and have lightning fast reflexes?:rolleyes::p
     
  10. SecPro

    SecPro New Member

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    Because we're men, married men at that! We know our wives andknow to be on our toes at all times.:D
     
  11. BunnyWabbit

    BunnyWabbit New Member

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    It seems to me the wives would get better aim after all those years. lol:D
     
  12. sarge_257

    sarge_257 New Member

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    wives

    You got it right SEC PRO but I will expand on your answer.
    First of all I weigh 30 lbs less than when I was a desk sitting Piping Designer. (ACAD 3D) And I walk 14 miles or more every week. (Duke the dog needs the exercise) And even though I am retired I spend less than 30 min. a day on the couch watching the boob tube. I have a large shop/garage that I work in every day repairing guns and restoring my classic cars. I don't hire any neighbor kids to mow my lawn and I am rarely ever go to parties and have never ever drank alcohol in any form and do not smoke or use controlled substance. So as my Doctor told me, even though I am 69 yrs old I am physically as healthy as a man in his 40's.
    Sarge
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2010