Lethal food product trend

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Benning Boy, Dec 1, 2008.

  1. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    With the recent turkey clubbing, and now the giant candy cane attack, I got to thinking:

    You are at a mall where some nut is on a rampage. Drawing your weapon will upset the sheeple. You happen to be in a candy store. What confection will you select to end the madness?

    Personally, I think Pixie sticks are made for combat. Tear both ends off the paper straw, and blow the powdered candy into his eyes.

    Follow up with a strike from a bulk bag of Atomic Fireballs, and you are a hero.
     
  2. ScottG

    ScottG New Member

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    Rampaging madmen in a mall is the reason I always keep a large size bag of Peeps on me. Throw those babies on the floor and you'll so enrage the shooter that he'll focus on stomping the little yella chicks. 'Cause everyone hates Peeps....;)
     

  3. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Peeps do suck. In my childhood Easter basket, when the whole thing was empty, the Peeps remained.
     
  4. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    I would suggest blinding the perp with hot sauce from the food court Taco Bell. If you squeeze those little packs just right, you can get some velocity going.
     
  5. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    1. - I used to love peeps.

    2. - I would draw my weapon anyways, I don't care about the sheeple....:p

    3. - If I had too, I think an attack with a sock full of gumballs, swung with velocity would make an effective weapon...

    JD
     
  6. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Alternately, you could eat the Taco Bell and gas the perp.
     
  7. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    Always good to have a fallback plan. :D
     
  8. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Mr. D, while I generally agree with you, Peeps aren't even real food. I believe unsold ones are refabricated into Hi Points.

    :)
     
  9. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    LOL - Now that's funny....
     
  10. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    Dillnger, I'm going to remove the gum balls from said sock and go with giant jaw breakers. I think one of those swung well could cause some damage...
     
  11. Musket

    Musket New Member

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    drop a giant bag of fireballs or boston baked beans on the flor. Said criminal will fall backwards and hit his head--suffering a brain injury.

    This will leave you with the opportunity to rush forward with a coke and dump it n his eyes, thereby blinding him for life :)

    if this plan fails, you can give a fair beating with a giant lolly pop--the multicolored ones work best.

    Also, the stickyness of cotton candy can be used to blind assailent if you have the opportunity to get close enough to attach to his face.

    There are always resources on hand :D

    I also might advise that I have an aunt who makes a most deadly fruitcake :eek:
     
  12. dragunovsks

    dragunovsks New Member

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    How about throwing a handful of gumballs on the flooring under his feet, when he slips and falls, then wrap a Nerds Rope around his neck and hold him in a sleeper hold till he passes out, then tie him up with the Nerds Rope. LOL
     
  13. ScottG

    ScottG New Member

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    I hear that's how Barney Frank gets dates....
     
  14. Kent E

    Kent E New Member

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    I'd throw a Molotov cocktail of pop rocks and mountain dew
     
  15. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Oooh, forgot about Pop Rocks.