Klaus' Austrian/American Bonding Thread

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Benning Boy, Jul 28, 2009.

  1. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

    9,624
    1
    0
    So Mr. J.D., how do I make the American Austrian Fellowship thread? Is it difficult?

    I think your president is funny. When he visited my land, he said that Austrian was a language. He has the grosse ears.


    Klaus:cool:
     
  2. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

    23,972
    1
    0
    There you go Klaus, you are all set. :D

    Now you have this thread in "The Clubhouse" to promote the Fellowship.

    There isn't a ring involved is there?? Because 9 hours of walking is just too damn much for me....:cool:

    Our President is quite funny - but not in a haha or silly sort of way....:eek:

    JD
     

  3. bkt

    bkt New Member

    6,964
    0
    0
    I like you already, Klaus.
     
  4. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

    9,663
    2
    0
    not funny haha, funny queer.
     
  5. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

    9,624
    1
    0
    Vielen Dank, Her J.D., you are diesel!

    So I am Klaus, Benning's cousin, and I look forward to spending some time with you while cousin Benning is away.

    I am looking through Cousin Benning's house, and I see he hasn't forgotten his heritage. When we were children, we would play in our lederhosen, long leather shorts. I see he has a whole leather suit, with a matching mask. I see "GIMP" is written on the back in chrome studs. What is "GIMP?"

    I know you have many questions for me, since I am exciting and different for you, and you rarely get such an opportunity.

    Mr. J.D. promised Cousin Benning that he would help me out if there was something I didn't verstehen, so ask away!

    Klaus:cool:
     
  6. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

    23,972
    1
    0
    LOL - I think Benning is going to read this thread later and be backpeddling for days....


    Okay, how about you tell us what the young and hip Austrians do on say, a Saturday night? Where do you go to meet these women you speak so highly of? And more importantly, do you have any pictures. :D

    What brings you to the States Klaus? Are you just visiting Benning and family? Was there a recent birth in the family? Wedding? Other?

    Benning alluded to some of your "fun" with immigrations, would you care to share some of your experiences with the guys here?

    JD
     
  7. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

    9,624
    1
    0
    Ach du lieber!

    A box has just popped onto my screen that says "Private Message"

    Was ist los?

    Klaus:cool:
     
  8. bkt

    bkt New Member

    6,964
    0
    0
    Post some pictures. Seriously. There's blackmail money in this...I can smell it.
     
  9. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

    9,624
    1
    0
    So, my ritual on Freitag abend goes like this:

    Since my, how do you say, posse, is uber cool, it is important that we look good before we go out.

    First, the underclothes. I prefer the banana hammock, to make free my moves on the tanzfloor.

    I move on to my suit for the evening, usually a Hugo Boss, as he designed the uniforms of the SS in WW2. Say what you will, they looked SHARP!

    Then it's time to ride. We are a feared and respected group, with our Vespa Scooters tearing through the Strasse like a knife! It's like a Fine Young Cannibals video!

    We then hit the disco. Donna Summer is zuviel gut! We dance, and sometimes, the women join us!

    I will only be staying a day or two, as Benning seemed worried about me staying on this forum for long. He seemed to cry a little, and mumbled something about his "rep."

    I must seek medical attention back home, as the immigration people checked me thoroughly, and the bleeding hasn't stopped yet.

    Klaus:cool:
     
  10. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

    9,624
    1
    0
    Okay, so i am reading this "Private Message, and it asks if I enjoy "Buttsechs."

    Is this meaning a person who has 6 butts?

    I have not seen this, but I guess it is okay.:confused:


    Klaus:cool:
     
  11. orangello

    orangello New Member

    19,156
    0
    0
    [​IMG]
    Is 5 enough asses? :p (Southpark, Mad scientist creator)
     
  12. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

    9,624
    1
    0
    So I am reading another message, and it asks "Are you some kind of cakeboy?"

    No, Klaus does not work in the bakery. I am the fashion model. I do not eat the cake, it will give me a tummy.

    Grace Jones is sehr schon.

    Klaus:cool:
     
  13. mrm14

    mrm14 Active Member

    2,705
    3
    38
    O.K. Klaus, maby you can help me with a German to English translation here.

    A couple of years ago my two A-Hole cousins visiting me here from Wurzburg wanted to go out to a bar for drinks. So I took them down town to a bar where the bartender was a German Frau. After a couple of hours of drinking and listinging to my cousins and the bartender banter back and forth in the German language, one of my cousins asked me to order another round of drinks and told me to thank her with the term Meine Swanch Licker. Well I no more than got the words out of my mouth and the bartender threw the drinks in my face and reached over the bar and slapped me off my bar stool. My cousins had already got up off their stools and had stepped back about the same time she smite me to the floor. We left the bar and my drunk a$$ cousins couldnt stop laughing for quite awhile.

    So what does "Meine Swanch Licker" translate to in English?
     
  14. markerdown

    markerdown New Member

    381
    0
    0
    Dude, that is too funny. They set you up. Basic GI german lingo 101. You basically asked her for a hummer (and not the truck) :D
     
  15. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

    9,624
    1
    0
    Mr. Markerdown is correct. You basically said "My C********r."

    Klaus:cool:
     
  16. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

    10,888
    1
    0
    That translates into every language, seriously. :cool:
     
  17. markerdown

    markerdown New Member

    381
    0
    0
    The good old days of my youth. The first things in counrty I learned was, danke, "bitte ein bitt", dri bier bitte, wass is lose at the bunder post and the usual GI gutter talk beginning with eisen mein XXXXXXXX. None of this is spelled correctly, and we used real German money, the deutsch mark, not that funny money euro stuff :D
     
  18. mrm14

    mrm14 Active Member

    2,705
    3
    38
    Well I was pretty sure that was what it meant or something similar, but at the time it happened I close to three sheets to the wind.
     
  19. markerdown

    markerdown New Member

    381
    0
    0
    So Mr Klaus, you can use these two little American words when you disagree with someone and want to end the conversation and you say it with inflection on the first word.............

    Bite Me.

    In a conversation: "Ok, just Bite Me"

    By itself: Bite Me

    For a greater effect you can add the word "b**ch!! but be prepared to defend yourself

    Out on the town:

    Go to a Cubs game with a dodgers cap on, turn to the closest guy wearing a cubs hat and say "bite me"! :D :D :D
     
  20. DADDYTATTOOED

    DADDYTATTOOED New Member

    13
    0
    0
    maybe i can get stationed in germany somewhere after AIT in the army so i can listen to this english, hahaha can't get enough. you and the ZOHAN have a lot in common