Kicking my best friend out advice please

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by gearhead396, Apr 4, 2013.

  1. gearhead396

    gearhead396 New Member

    Ok guys so for the last 6 months or so I've been letting my child hood best friend live with me. Now he said it was for a few months until January or do and he was supposed to get this job, but then something happened and it got post poned to April 1st well that came around and now its post poned again. Now grant it he helps out here and there and does alot of work that I don't have to do cleaning but he won't get a job and I pay for most everything. I already didn't want another room mate some of you know what happened with the last one I wanna be able to bring over a woman you know! So today I said to him "your my best friend yada yada and i always got your back yada yada but you need to get a steady job around here and move out I cannot pay for you to live also I'm sorry so can you please find a place to stay man." I know he can go stay with his parents but he proceds to flip out saying I'm an *** hole I'm just kicking him to the curb am I in the wrong here guys? I'm going around feeling like an a hole but haven't I helped him enough?
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2013
  2. activereality

    activereality New Member

    That's a no win situation. You have to do what is right for you. You have done your best to be a great friend. This may end up costing a solid relationship. But you can't live for someone else. You have done the "right thing" and are simply asking him to do the same.

    Sorry about the bad situation dude. Good luck.

  3. sputnik1988

    sputnik1988 Active Member

    Agreed, 100%

    You did the right thing.
  4. Jagermeister

    Jagermeister New Member

    More then enough. Calling you names after your generosity shows what kind of friend he really is. He is using you, period. He keeps coming up with excuses. Does he really want to work? He could get a job somewhere, what the hell is he waiting for? I bet he will look for a new victim to suffer his laziness.
  5. PanBaccha

    PanBaccha New Member

    Sounds like you got yourself an Alan from 'Two And A Half Men.' :eek:
  6. orangello

    orangello New Member

    Yup, you have been a sucker. Boot his arse to his parents until he grows up enough to pay his share, though I doubt I would allow him another try.

    Had a couch hippie for a bit, was a friend of my rent-paying roommate. He was a grill cook at an Outback Steakhouse. I don't eat steak, but I would advise against eating steaks from Outback, if he met their "stringent standards".
  7. DuraCoater

    DuraCoater New Member

    Uh as someone else pointed out - this guy is no friend.

    You need to understand when you two were younger you probably were best friends.

    I think you already knew what we were going to tell you. Unless you are just stupid, you know what needs to be done, you don't need anyone to help you justify it or make you feel better.

    Chalk this up to rule #1 - Life isn't fair or easy.

    I actually deduct 25 cents from my daughters weekly chore money every time she uses the term "Its not fair". Hopefully when she becomes an adult (she is only 6 right now) this will ingrain some thick skin on her.
  8. vincent

    vincent New Member

    Sounds like you've been a better friend to him than he is to you right now. A hand up is one thing, that's what friends do, a hand OUT is quite another. Doing the dishes and taking out the trash may be all well and good but it's not lowering your bottom line any.

    If he's any kind of friend at all, he'll see the error of his ways and make it right, if not, he was no friend to begin with.
  9. orangello

    orangello New Member

    Just tell her that kids are better at cleaning scrubbing floors and cleaning toilets because they are shorter.
  10. steadyshot

    steadyshot New Member

    If he has no job, what does he do for money? I bet he has money in his pocket right now. I doubt he has been flat broke all this time.....
  11. eatmydust

    eatmydust New Member

    You've gone above and beyond, you can be proud of how you helped a friend out!

    Several years ago we were asked to temporarily house my sister-in-law, prior to a divorce. We spelled out all of the rules, on paper; including 1st two months free and clear except for any long distance charges, 3rd & 4th month - 1/3 mortgage and util's., 5th month and beyond - 1/2 mortgage and util's.

    She moved out after 2 months!

    Then my sister asked to move in, again prior to a divorce, we gave her the same contract to sign with one addition, no babysitting services, she had 2 young sons at the time. She passed on our offer and moved in with my mother!!

    We were and are willing to help family and friends, just not enable them to become free-loaders at our expense!
  12. gearhead396

    gearhead396 New Member

    He get money here and there but he mainly borrows from me. But that's over he is now packing his things and has already got a bus ticket tomorrow to go back to his parents. He got the cash for the bus ticket from his mom i believe
  13. gearhead396

    gearhead396 New Member

    Thanks for the responses guys I feel better knowing others would do the same as me.
  14. yayamamasami

    yayamamasami New Member

    What kind of friend calls you an *** hole and rants at you? You've done more than enough, like everyone else has said. He's no friend, he's a mooch!! Kick him to the curb. He belongs in the gutter!!!
  15. orangello

    orangello New Member

    So you stole one sock from each pair of his socks as well? [high five]
  16. MisterMcCool

    MisterMcCool Well-Known Member Supporter

    Sounds like a democrat. :)

    Too political?
  17. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

    Fair= something that comes to town once a year. Has cotton candy and a merry go round, and you step in monkey poo. And life ain't fair.

    If it was fair, the slug woulda got a job and sent you a nice present for sheltering him in his time of need. Instead he took what he wanted and demanded more.

    I would be very happy that I learned this lesson with it costing me more for the learning experience. Slipping a tablespoon of applesauce into each of his clean sox is probably going too far.
  18. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    Well ,I gotta say , you do make some sense at times , I mean for a nut-case..! I,ve been the same way many times and it always got complicated , friends lose sight of friendship when expectations run high..!
  19. rockratt

    rockratt Active Member Lifetime Supporter

    I have been an a$$ hole for years and can assure that is not the way a true a- hole would have handled the situation. He should consider himself lucky you are a good guy. :D
  20. BillM

    BillM Active Member Supporter

    Maybe you should have posted his Rights:

    (Articles II, IV and maybe IX sort of covers your situation)

    "We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
    everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots,
    keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of
    debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren,
    hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense
    guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other
    liberal bed-wetters.

    We hold these truths to be self-evident:

    That a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim
    that they require a Bill of- No-Rights.


    You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of
    wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
    guaranteeing anything.


    You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on
    freedom, and that means freedom for everyone- not just you! You may leave
    the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world
    is full of idiots, and probably always will be.


    You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver
    in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer
    to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.


    You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most
    charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we
    are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of
    professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of
    another generation of professional couch potatoes.


    You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from
    the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health


    You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap,
    rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of
    us want to see you fry in the electric chair.


    You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat
    or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised
    if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still
    won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.


    You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in
    foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
    governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd
    like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want
    to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a
    military uniform and a funny hat.


    You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have
    one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take
    advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid
    before you to make yourself useful.


    You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you
    have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if
    you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of
    you who were confused by the Bill of Rights."