Just for fun........

Discussion in 'Illinois Gun Forum' started by winds-of-change, Apr 12, 2013.

  1. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

    29,528
    526
    113
    Jeff Foxworthy on Illinois: (Most of these are true!)

    If your last governor is headed for prison and the governor before him is already there, you might live in Illinois.

    If your latest US Senator lied to get the job, you might live in Illinois.

    If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Illinois.

    If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there, you might live in Illinois.

    If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Illinois.

    If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Illinois.

    If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Illinois.

    If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Illinois.

    YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Illinoisian WHEN:

    1. Vacation means going north or south on I-55 or I-57 for the weekend.

    2. You measure distance in hours.

    3. You know several people who have hit a dee
    more than once.

    4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.

    5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

    6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).

    7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

    8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them.

    9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

    10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

    11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction, & It's F-in' Hot.

    12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

    13. Down south means Missouri to you.

    14. A brat is something you eat.

    15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

    16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday night.

    17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

    18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly."

    19. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Illinois friends.
     
  2. Ez2b

    Ez2b New Member

    1,799
    0
    0
    Lol Funny stuff. Love it
     

  3. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

    29,528
    526
    113
    This was one of my favorites. It's so true!

    2. You measure distance in hours.
     
  4. eatmydust

    eatmydust New Member

    4,360
    0
    0
    You might live in Pennsylvania if...

    You have a bunch of dipsticks running around calling themselves "The Amish Mafia".

    You have a bunch of dipsticks running around calling themselves "The PA Legislature".

    Your car tires are caked with horses#!t and you never drive off-road.

    You can smell New Jersey when the wind is right.

    You have your venison chipped to make cheesesteaks.

    Lebanon bologna and scrapple make up 50% of your diet.

    Pat's, Geno's, Primante Bros., The Waterville Hotel and Tommy DiNics are your favorite gourmet restaurants.
     
  5. Ez2b

    Ez2b New Member

    1,799
    0
    0
    Amish mafia Yeah right Scared of that lol
     
  6. GSpears471

    GSpears471 New Member

    58
    0
    0
    I like this one. Jeff Foxworthy definately has a bunch of good material for his routines. Yeah, I know what you mean about the 5 seasons