Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Gonzilla, Jun 16, 2012.

  1. Gonzilla

    Gonzilla New Member

    Enjoy your Father's Day Weekend and Front Sight's Laugh Out Loud of The Week...

    A young cowboy goes off to college.

    Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money.

    He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"

    "That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"

    "Just send him down here with $1,000," the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

    About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks.

    "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"

    "Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"

    "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.

    When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"

    "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicking back in the recliner and reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"

    The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that SOB before he talks to your Mother!"

    "I sure did, Dad!"

    "That's my boy!"

    The kid went on to law school, and now serves in Washington D.C. as a Congressman.
  2. kytowboater

    kytowboater Active Member

    Hahahahahaha thus good for sure.

  3. Axxe55

    Axxe55 The Apocalypse Is Coming.....

    now that was funny!:D
  4. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

    Father's Day joke

    The inventor was talking to the banker, hoping he would bankroll the latest invention.

    "So", asked the banker. "What is this invention, and how does it work?"

    "The problem with computers giving accurate answers to open questions has been resolved. Most computers have a limited amount of information to search. THIS computer is tied in by high speed internet to all the sources of information. It can scan the entire Library of Congress in 10 seconds, the Yale library in 4. It has access to every record of every Federal, State, and local agency. But I need $2 million to put this into production- I only have one working version right now."

    "So- it works, huh? Show me how."

    "Sit right there at the keyboard, type any question, press ENTER, and get an immediate answer."

    So the banker types "Where is my father?" ENTER

    Screen immediately lights up- "Your father is fishing at North Lake"

    Banker scowls- "Afraid your machine flunked- my father died 10 years ago."

    Inventor- puzzled- "But it has been working perfectly...... Could you maybe rephrase your question, and give it one more try? PLEASE?"

    So the banker typed "Where is my mother's husband?" ENTER

    Screen lit up. "your mother's husband died 10 years ago.

    Your father just landed a 5 lb bass."
  5. Gonzilla

    Gonzilla New Member

    Quest for the unattainable ? A 12 lb Bass, 12 pt Buck and a Low Maintenance Woman...
  6. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

    Ever heard of a Fresno Ten?

    A pair of twos and a six-pack.