Joke Forum?

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by nwrednk, Sep 11, 2010.

  1. Rifling82

    Rifling82 Well-Known Member Supporter

  2. G66enigma

    G66enigma Well-Known Member

    Two things going through a pooch's mind at that point:

    1. "Well, that sure stinks."


    2. "I smell a rat."
  3. Capacitor

    Capacitor Active Member

    The Great American Success Story

    Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner where a shoe shine is always located.

    He sits on the couch, examines the Wall Street Journal, and the shoe shine gives his shoes a shiny, excellent look.

    One morning the shoeshine asks the Executive Director:

    - What do you think about the situation in the stock market?

    The Director asks in turn arrogantly:

    - Why are you so interested in that - that topic?

    "I have a million dollars in your bank," the shoeshine says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."

    - What your name? –Asks the Director.

    - John H. Smith

    The Director arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Customer Department:

    - Do we have a client named John H. Smith?

    - Certainly –answers the Customer Service Manager–, he is a highly esteemed customer. He has a million dollars in his account.

    The Director comes out, approaches the shoeshine, and says:

    - Mr. Smith, I ask you this coming Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we will have something to learn from you.

    At the board meeting, the Executive Director introduces him to the board members:

    - We all know Mr. Smith, who makes our shoes shine in the corner; But Mr. Smith is also our esteemed customer with a million dollars in his account. I invited him to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can learn from him.

    Mr. Smith began his story:

    - I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail. Suddenly I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options: eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for one dollar and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes. I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and ointments in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny. After a while I was able to buy an armchair so that my clients could sit comfortably while cleaning their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every penny. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shine on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place.

    Finally, three months ago, my sister, who was a hooker in Chicago, passed away and left me a million dollars.
    austin92, G66enigma, ellis36 and 3 others like this.
  4. JTJ

    JTJ Well-Known Member Supporter

    Loudmouth and the Quiet Guy. Quiet guy got married and when he came back from his honeymoon Loudmouth asked him how many times he got it the 1st night. Quiet Guy answered once. Loudmouth said Haw Haw Haw I got it 5 times. Quiet Guy said my wife wasn't used to it.
    ellis36 and primer1 like this.