Interesting Observations Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Daoust_Nat, Jun 9, 2013.

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  1. Daoust_Nat

    Daoust_Nat Well-Known Member Supporter

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    The following is attributed to Jeff Foxworthy:


    If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book, but not to vote who runs the government — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    If the government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt — you might live in a nation founded by
    geniuses but run by idiots.


    If, in the nation’s largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    If an 80-year-old woman or a three-year-old girl confined to a
    wheelchair can be strip-searched by the TSA, but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is “cute,” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but
    run by idiots.


    If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings, while children of addicts are left in filth- and drug-infested “homes” — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    If the government’s plan for getting people back to work is to provide incentives for not working through 99 weeks of unemployment checks, without any requirement to prove they sought, but couldn’t find, work — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, wall-sized plasma
    do-it-all TV’s and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government — you might live in a nation founded by geniuses but run by idiots.


    What a country!
     
  2. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    Sad but true.
     

  3. towboater

    towboater Well-Known Member

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    Yep... ↑↑↑↑↑
     
  4. Axxe55

    Axxe55 The Apocalypse Is Coming.....

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    i heard this on the radio a few months ago. if it wasn't so true, it might actually be funny.:(
     
  5. gearhead396

    gearhead396 New Member

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    I feel exactly the same way......
     
  6. txpossum

    txpossum New Member

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  7. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    I get pissed off everytime I read this.
     
  8. tri70

    tri70 New Member

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    Truth!! No matter who wrote it!
     
  9. shadecorp

    shadecorp Active Member Supporter

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    Great.
    Thanks for posting.
     
  10. nitestalker

    nitestalker New Member

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    Humm? No matter Obama is having the IRS audit Foxworthy.:(
     
  11. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    Are they freaking really!?!?!? Oh, I'll bet that's a hoot. I hope he cracks jokes on them all day long. I bet it'll be a good source for more material. Bill Ingvall would be able to use the "here's your sign" bit on them.
     
  12. Rocky7

    Rocky7 New Member

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    This isn't Jeff Foxworthy, either. I still like it.

    1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
    You may be a Muslim.

    2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
    You may be a Muslim.

    3. If you have more wives than teeth.
    You may be a Muslim.

    4. If you wipe your bum with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean,
    You may be a Muslim.

    5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide.
    You may be a Muslim

    6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against,
    You may be a Muslim.

    7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing,
    You may be a Muslim.

    8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs,
    You may be a Muslim.

    9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four,
    You may be a Muslim.

    10. If you thought this was offensive or racist,
    You may be a Muslim.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  13. txpossum

    txpossum New Member

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    If you make fun of one of the worlds major religions on based on the actions of a fringe movement, you may be a racist.

    If you make fun of the wife of the president of the United States and a graduate of Princeton and Harvard Law School on the basis of her looks, you may be a racist.

    If you assume that all persons who enter this country illegally do so with the intention of taking advange of our welfare systems and will contribute nothing to the economy, you may be a racist.

    If you think it's okay to post messages like those above, but get pissed off at this one, you may be a hypocrite.

    I believe there is a political folder here where threads of this type better belong.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  14. txpossum

    txpossum New Member

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    I belive this was an attempt at humor.
     
  15. rurak

    rurak New Member

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    If you can't laugh at the above posts you may be way too mature for this thread ...... just sayin
     
  16. txpossum

    txpossum New Member

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    What a man tolerates . . . or does not tolerate . . . says a lot about his character. Jus' sayin'.
     
  17. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    It's very believable.
    Or maybe you can't laugh because so much of it is true that it pisses you off. The hijacking of our country by lunacy and stupidity on all sides from all fronts is no laughing matter.
     
  18. Rocky7

    Rocky7 New Member

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    Indeed it does, indeed it does.

    Hypocrisy says even more, IMO.
     
  19. John_Deer

    John_Deer New Member

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    Maybe we should elect a redneck for president. The successful candidate must have a dog box on his truck, 27 shotguns, 15 dogs, a wife named polly sue and a refrigerator in his yard. A TV on top of a TV in the living room gets him extra TV time.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  20. MisterMcCool

    MisterMcCool Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Could the wife have had the same last name before they married?
     
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