I'm One Proud Dad!

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Vikingdad, Nov 2, 2012.

  1. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    Today I was driving home with my son and he mentioned something that happened at school today. To give a little back-story he is 17 (or will be in a few weeks) we have home-schooled him until this year when he decided that he wanted to go to the local trade school in the automotive mechanics program. So we graduated him and he is attending the school as a high school graduate. The class is mainly made up with a bunch of dropout candidates with a few (maybe 4 or 5) students that are really interested in a career as a mechanic (my son being one of these few, and he is also well ahead of most of these students in his knowledge of cars). So anyhow this evening he says that all of the rest of the students think he is totally crazy. When I asked why he said that they were talking about drugs and alcohol today and he was the only one who has never used either one nor does he have any desire to try them out. Ever. He prefers being able to think clearly and have his full wits about him all the time without artificially hindering his mind. What makes me double proud of him is that he is willing to sit among a bunch of other kids his age who are drinking and using drugs and say "No thanks. Not even going to try it out." Not many kids have that sort of a sense of self-worth or confidence.

    I must admit that I did say that I know I had some influence on his decision to be clean and sober as I have served as a bad example for most of his life with my drinking (I have recently stopped drinking entirely) and that I hope my bad example serves a useful purpose in keeping him clean and sober. I think it will.

    If you are reading this, I have always been proud of you and your brother, and this just makes me prouder!
     
  2. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    Now, just make sure you reinforce it strongly!!
     

  3. USEBOTHHANDS

    USEBOTHHANDS New Member

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    now, buy him a new "shoot" toy. just because he is your son. :)

    QFT

    my thoughts exactly!
     
  4. Eturnsdale

    Eturnsdale New Member

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    Im glad that he is turning out so well. Im proud of him for you too.

    We just recently took custody of Sasha's nephew (maybe only temporary) and I can only hope that we can have as positive an influence as you have had on your son.
     
  5. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    Good job, Vikingdad. It's awesome when you see your kids growing into responsible adults. He sounds like a confident young man.
     
  6. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    Thanks. He lurks around on here so he is probably reading this.

    How old? I'm sure you will do OK. It is different with nephews versus your own children, but it is impossible to explain the difference.

    Not sure if you understood me correctly. I used to drink heavily. I quit a couple of months ago. I served as a bad example and now he doesn't want to turn into the drinker I was. I have told him that I have smoked marijuana but didn't like the lack of control it caused (which is true). I don't lie to the boys, and I tell them that I make mistakes.
     
  7. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    So should I go on a bender every once in awhile? ;)
     
  8. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    Oh, we have plenty to play with right now. New ones aren't in the budget right now. Been spending the beer money on reloading supplies:D.
     
  9. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    Yes, it is. good to see. Nice that I can rely on him too. He and his brother are both very confidant yet not at all cocky.
     
  10. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    I have always been honest with my kids, too.
     
  11. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    Only to show him the negative side effects of drinking, of course!
     
  12. BeverlyAnnB

    BeverlyAnnB New Member

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    so nice to read! about him and your recovery!
     
  13. WebleyFosbery38

    WebleyFosbery38 New Member

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    Thats awesome, its so nice to hear and see that all of the crumb-eaters out there arent like the brainless frat kids we see everyday on the boob tube and in the malls! Hooray for you and your children!
     
  14. Eturnsdale

    Eturnsdale New Member

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    He is eight months old. And it may become permanent. We will find out in court in a few weeks.
     
  15. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    If you are confident you don't have the need to be cocky. Cocky is for people who need to 'strut their stuff'. Confident people know who they are, are content with who they are and don't need confirmation from others.
     
  16. PC167

    PC167 New Member

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    It sounds like you and your wife raised some great kids... It's always nice to see teenges show a lot of maturity for their age and make the right decisions. There are a few adults, who need to take some lessons from your boys . :-D
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2012
  17. astroman

    astroman Supporting Member Supporter

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    Congrats Vikingdad - its refreshing to hear and with 2 boys of my own, I hope they turn out as well as your boys.
     
  18. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    But of course! I would have to make a significant sacrifice, but all in the name of reinforcing what he has learned from me so far.;)

    Both of the boys don't care for the internet too much (mainly to look up info on their projects or search for parts) and up until recently my oldest did not have a cell phone and did not want one. Our youngest still doesn't want one, so he doesn't have one (by the way, both are licensed amateur radio - HAM- operators, as am I). Neither one would be caught dead hanging out at the mall, let alone hanging out in town. They do tend to watch TV, but only good wholesome stuff like Mythbusters, MacGuyver, Roy Rogers, the Outdoor Channel shooting shows and that sort of thing.

    Hooray for them indeed (me, I'm still a work in progress.:))

    I hope that things work out however is best for the boy. At eight months he is not going to remember anything in his life so far that is not reinforced later. You have pretty much a clean slate to work with.

    True that!

    I attribute a lot of it, probably half of it or more, to our decision to homeschool them when our oldest was entering the 6th grade in public school. It was a family decision to be sure but once we made it we realized that we should have been doing it that way from the beginning. Had we been paying attention from the start we would have known that we were really "schooling" them in two parallel tracks, one at home and one at school. Not a week went by that we weren't counter-acting some BS that was being taught in the classroom.

    There are a few adults who have been taking lessons from the boys!

    Me too. Anybody can do it, it just takes all of your love, dedication and an ability to see the faults in yourself for what they are and be willing to open up your soul to your kids and admit "I am Human". I have done this all of their lives and that is largely why we are at this point now. My quitting drinking really has little to do with it, all of the groundwork was laid long before that occurred.

    We have always treated and raised the boys to be the adults we wanted them to be. We never talked down to them, always corrected them when they did something wrong and at the same time reinforcing our love for them even as they were being corrected (or as soon afterwards as they were able to receive it).

    It has always driven me batty to see parents who, when their kid is doing something wrong, be it swearing, disrespect for others, hitting or whatever, and just saying "Oh, he's just a kid. We will work on that later."

    There is no "later" for those kids. The lessons are being taught to them right then and right there. There is no "do over" for them. Some of them will survive this abuse and grow into responsible adults, but those are the rare exceptions to the rule. The concept of "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" could not be any more relevant than when parenting a child.
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2012
  19. primer1

    primer1 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Congrats Vikingdad. Now your on my list for parental advice. :)