I dare you .......!

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by dango, Apr 6, 2019.

  1. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    16,302
    11,785
    113
    I dare anybody to tell a joke that is funny and not offend , absolutely not offend anybody !
     
  2. Fred_G

    Fred_G Well-Known Member Supporter

    1,036
    1,218
    113
    I am offended. :)

    I think honest debate and humor is lost in our society today. People can't seem to discuss differences, they have to argue. Back in the day, a good comedian could make fun of you, and make you laugh about it.

    Too much butt hurt these days.
     
    big shrek, primer1, RJF22553 and 7 others like this.

  3. freefall

    freefall Well-Known Member

    4,548
    3,519
    113
    A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar.
    The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke?"
     
  4. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    16,302
    11,785
    113
    And I kind sir am more offended ....:D (HE , SHE , HIM , HER , TAKE THAT .......!
     
    Rifling82, towboater and Fred_G like this.
  5. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    16,302
    11,785
    113
    Funny BUT , ME , being a priest/minister/rabbi am offended .......we don't go to bars , they cater.......:D
     
  6. freefall

    freefall Well-Known Member

    4,548
    3,519
    113
    Gosh, I thought it would be the bartenders who were offended.
     
  7. Fred_G

    Fred_G Well-Known Member Supporter

    1,036
    1,218
    113
    So, President Trump took the Pope out on his yacht. A sudden gust of wind blew the Pope's hat into the water. The Secret Service was going to jump in the water and swim to retrieve the Pope's hat. Trump stopped them, climbed down the ladder, walked across the water, got the Pope's hat, walked back and handed it to him.

    The next day, the headlines read... "Trump Can't Swim!!"
     
  8. schnuffleupagus

    schnuffleupagus Well-Known Member

    1,690
    1,807
    113
    Remember when the Pope was Polish?

    Catholic and Polack jokes combined.

    Comedy gold.
     
    big shrek, MisterMcCool and towboater like this.
  9. schnuffleupagus

    schnuffleupagus Well-Known Member

    1,690
    1,807
    113
    A horse walked into a bar.
    The bartender asked, "Hey, buddy, why the long face?"
     
    SanchoPanza, Fred_G and towboater like this.
  10. Mercator

    Mercator Well-Known Member

    12,270
    1,594
    113
    A bacteria walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind"
    The bacteria says, "That's OK, I am staph"
     
  11. MisterMcCool

    MisterMcCool Well-Known Member Supporter

    14,459
    3,496
    113
    How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?


    One or two
     
  12. 1911NUT

    1911NUT Well-Known Member

    1,268
    2,616
    113
    Challenge accepted....... (sound of crickets)
     
    SanchoPanza likes this.
  13. Mercator

    Mercator Well-Known Member

    12,270
    1,594
    113
    A former Obama staffer told CNN that his boss floated like a turd.
     
  14. Rifling82

    Rifling82 Well-Known Member Supporter

    4,426
    7,806
    113
    When I first saw the thread, I noticed "Dango" and the words "I dare you"...... I thought it was gonna be about the stupid things Dango's friends dared him to do when he was younger...... I can only imagine the stories his friends have o_O:rolleyes::p
     
    big shrek and MisterMcCool like this.
  15. SanchoPanza

    SanchoPanza Well-Known Member

    483
    603
    93
    Heard this in Little Rock:

    Man walks into a bar, with a Parrot on his shoulder.

    Bartender says "Where'd you get him?"

    Parrot says "I got him over in Pine Bluff; they've got them there by the thousands."
     
  16. TankTop

    TankTop Well-Known Member Supporter

    2,839
    954
    113
    Three strings walk into a bar, the bartender says we don’t serve your kind here. All three walk out and one ties himself into a knot and frays one end and walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him intently and asks aren’t you one of those strings? He replies, “sorry I’m a frayed knot.”
     
  17. Maser

    Maser Well-Known Member

    1,716
    3,000
    113
    I'm really fighting back the urge to post a really offensive joke. :D
     
  18. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member Admin Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    24,893
    13,310
    113
    Youngest son was 3. Wanted to go play in the yard after a spring rain, so I told him "put your boots on." In a couple of minutes, here he is headed for the door- walking funny. I stopped him, looked at his feet. Yep.
    "Son, you've got your boots on the wrong feet."
    A few minutes later, he is still sitting on the sofa, with a puzzled look. "Son, what's wrong?"
    "Daddy- these are the only feet I got....."
     
    BVAL, JTJ, big shrek and 6 others like this.
  19. Chainfire

    Chainfire Well-Known Member Supporter

    9,948
    8,900
    113
    Almost all humor is based upon the discomfort of others. We laugh because it isn't happening to us.
     
    big shrek likes this.
  20. Mercator

    Mercator Well-Known Member

    12,270
    1,594
    113
    No joke :)
     
    big shrek and SanchoPanza like this.