I can not tell a lie !

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by dango, Jul 21, 2015.

  1. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    11,878
    612
    113
    Welp , back in 1998 , I made a promise to God and my mother-n-law ! My father -n-law passed that year . A week after , we , my Ex-wife and I made that lady a promise ! . She would never be put in a rest home .

    As some know , the wife and I split almost a year and a half ago . Eight weeks ago , Mom fell and broke leg . She is 93 , with extreme Alzheimer's , really bad . She can't do anything on her own , nothing !

    My ex called six weeks ago and told what happened . She is close to the end . How close we don't know ! There was no way possible my wife could take care of her on her own . Hoyer lift and sling , Depends , the whole deal , SAD. !
    I moved back in with them to make right my promise . Everything from changing diapers to feeding and keeping her clean and comfy !

    Welp , my Mama did raise a fool ! Yo..... I've put all my problems aside and will help till the end .
    May dang well be the hardest thing I've done .

    All health care and nurses , I can not thank you for all you do , it is really a thankless job and a constant 24/7 ....!

    That's where I been , very very busy ..........oh yeah , I miss this place and I'll check in whenever I can ! :D
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2015
  2. Sniper03

    Sniper03 Supporting Member Supporter

    7,667
    67
    48
    All respect in the World to you dango!

    We unfortunately had to put Dad in a home! The reason was he would not come to Tennessee and live with us. And he wanted to live at home in Indiana by himself since Mom passed two years before this issue. But as you know he got so he was incapable of living by himself. Mentally he was sharp as a tac at 86 but physically he could not even walk toward the end due to depleted muscles. In addition he wanted no one to live with him! It broke our heart but we had no choice. He did get along well because he could visit with people and they had good food there he liked! And Dad liked his food! But the sad thing was, all that he had worked for all those years as you know, was signed over by selling the house I grew up in to take care of him. I know there are others here that have unfortunately also walked this path!
    I did know several ladies at the home personally who are fine folks and they took care of Dad who they had also known for years and they kept me up to date twice a week via telephone. We made frequent trips to see him. But after only 1 year he passed. The issue is with all these bums and entitlement people out there we take care of. Including those in the same home who had never worked a day in their life! And did not have to sacrifice anything for the care. But when a good hard working person needs this kind of assistance and help they have to sacrifice all their worldly possessions and what they have worked for all their life in one stroke of the pen. We will never get over not being able to provide for him here at our place. I would have gladly took a leave and stayed home with him. But I guess he being a very proud man did not want in anyway to burden any of us. I can appreciate that since like father like son! But the good news no doubt he is he is in God's hands now! No more pain, suffering or needs!
    So I applaud you my friend and our hearts and prayers go out to you and yours!I only pray the good Lord takes me before anything like that happens! I never want any of my family to be put in this position!
    God Bless You and the Family!

    03
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2015

  3. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    11,878
    612
    113
    Thanks for all the good words , all I'm doing is trying to make peace with-in me !
    That promise , I will do what I said is all ! She now has pretty much all the things a rest home could offer + love and compassion !

    At the end of it all , my labido has gone out the window ! A 93 YEAR OLD PERSON NAKED but , my spirit grows with-in me ! :)

    THANKS ........
     
  4. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

    29,445
    315
    83

    Sometimes one can't provide all the care necessary. I hope you have home care nurses coming in a couple hours a day.

    My Dad also enjoys living in his nursing home. He has friends, activities, etc.
     
  5. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    11,878
    612
    113
    Winds , we have more than enough help but the X and I sre 24/7 !
    Just yesterday , 1:15 PM , AN RN , Therapist , nurses aid HOSPICE !

    I think they need the help , we are a handful , I bad :eek:


    And the days , only Saturday and Sunday are free around here , it's impossible not to blow my cover , Sheeeeeeez......! :confused: :D
     
  6. Dakota1

    Dakota1 Active Member

    936
    53
    28
    Dango, you're a stand-up guy.

    I made a similar promise to my dad. As he passed 85 & started falling, he knew he married a selfish abusive nut & he was worried that after he was gone, his kids wouldn't help her. I promised that I would help her. My brother & sister abandoned her but I kept my promise even though she didn't deserve it. I'm glad I did; I would have felt guilty if I didn't. She died a few years after he did. Ironically, she feared being helpless & bedridden & that's exactly what she was for her last three months.

    No tears were shed....by anyone.
     
  7. yazul42

    yazul42 Active Member Lifetime Supporter

    1,317
    0
    36
    An honorable man you are dango,, perhaps you could call "Nurse Ratchet " that helped you while you were in the hospital to take care of the ex,, it being summer, you could pitch a tent in the back yard for some slight relief,, take care old coon.
     
  8. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    11,878
    612
    113
    About this place. It's filled stand-up people ! I joined FTF 08 and it is the best of the best . My character comes from trying to keep up with yaul , good influences .and all the best traits as a whole in one big family ! I am comfortable here at all times !

    Thank you all for just being here ! :)
     
  9. primer1

    primer1 Well-Known Member Supporter

    9,732
    136
    63
    My hats off to you dango! * You are not only a man of character, but of honor and compassion. You reap what you sew.


    *I'm not wearing a hat
     
  10. dwmiller

    dwmiller Well-Known Member

    3,486
    148
    63
    God bless you Dango. I went through something similar when My mothers cancer passed to terminal stage. I quit my architecture firm job, dumped the girlfriend of the time and moved back home because my father could not keep up with the around the clock care by himself. Stay strong, your doing the right thing for the right reasons my friend.

    As sad as the final outcome is from a terminal illness, you can hold your head high and say that YOU did your best.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2015
  11. CardiacColt68

    CardiacColt68 New Member

    1,989
    0
    0
    Sometimes all a man has is his word and his character. So in this case Dango you are the richest man alive. Congrats! I salute you. Hope I am half the man if the situation arrives.

    And you are correct about the nurses. Other than 1 bad apple, my experience with them has been all good. They are mostly great people.
     
  12. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    11,878
    612
    113
    Have you had the pleasure to look at pics of Ready Girl and RN Cindy ? Not only are they priceless , the are BEAUTIFUL ......! And Winds , no pic but your more than beautiful , no pics needed ! :)

    If only I were back in youth , I'd make them love me with respect. And compassion , oh well , we can dream ....! :D

    I will beat this , NO FEAR .....!
     
  13. shadecorp

    shadecorp Active Member Supporter

    1,461
    3
    38
    Dango,
    What a Man.
    Bless You.
     
  14. csaw44

    csaw44 New Member

    93
    0
    0
    I do not post much at all.I have never spoken to Dango. But I want to say you are the man. God bless and prayers for all involved.
     
  15. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    11,878
    612
    113
    Hey , I am not special , I do nothing that any of you would done in my shoes !
    True when I got married , I saw none of things that happened , happening !

    If I saw half of the how hard things could get , I would not have gotten married !
    I am nobody , nothing and I believe a man's word should stand for something ! I have not done anything any of you-all <----(that's Yankee) for yaul would have done in my shoe !

    The reward I really deserve is a (KICK ME) T-shirt .......! :p
    The fact of the matter is , I'm half the man or woman yaul <---- that's southern for ,(you all) .....! Again , ......:p. :D
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2015
  16. Mongo

    Mongo Active Member Supporter

    1,549
    10
    38
    Maybe you can put the story into " The Continuing Adventures of dango!" Next chapter
     
  17. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    11,878
    612
    113
    Yeap , I can start with a vivid , detailed description of a (NAKED 93 OLD FEMALE ANATOMY ) !
    You know I am a stickler for details ......! Let's not ! :confused:
     
  18. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

    29,445
    315
    83
    Feel free to spare us some details. :eek:
     
  19. artbrownsr

    artbrownsr Forum Chaplain Lifetime Supporter

    2,991
    0
    0
    Dango, If I may please?
    The scripture speaks to a man swearing to his own hurt and following through. You spoke to the situation and took it serious. More serious than some might have, but to YOU it was what determines YOUR actions and many of us that have come to know him by his posts, SALUTE him as standing by his words!
     
  20. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

    11,878
    612
    113
    Winds , you are tempting me to do something I really think is taboo !
    I am amazed that I can do this at all , like dealing with an infant in a larger package ! True , diapers are a fact of life but this is no infant ! Much more period ! :eek: