How do firearms reviews get written?

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by c3shooter, Sep 10, 2010.

  1. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

    C&P'd this from elsewhere. It answers some questions I have had over the years:

    How gun review articles are actually written.

    Instruction From The Editor To The Journalist:

    Frangible Arms just bought a four page color ad in our next issue. They sent us their latest offering, the CQB MK-V Tactical Destroyer. I told Fred to take it out to the range to test. He'll have the data for you tomorrow.

    Feedback From Technician Fred:

    The pistol is a crude copy of the World War II Japanese Nambu type 14 pistol, except it made from unfinished zinc castings. The grips are pressed cardboard. The barrel is unrifled pipe. There are file marks all over the gun, inside and out.

    Only 10 rounds of 8mm ammunition were supplied. Based on previous experience with a genuine Nambu, I set up a target two feet down range. I managed to cram four rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber. I taped the magazine in place, bolted the pistol into a machine rest, got behind a barricade, and pulled the trigger with 20 feet of 550 cord. I was unable to measure the trigger pull because my fish scale tops out at 32 pounds. On the third try, the pistol fired. From outline of the holes, I think the barrel, frame, magazine, trigger and recoil spring blew through the target. The remaining parts scattered over the landscape.

    I sent the machine rest back to the factory to see if they can fix it, and we need to replace the shooting bench for the nice people who own the range. I'll be off for the rest of the day. My ears are still ringing. I need a drink.

    Article Produced By The Journalist:

    The CQB MK-V Tactical Destroyer is arguably the deadliest pistol in the world. Based on a combat proven military design, but constructed almost entirely of space age alloy, it features a remarkable barrel design engineered to produce a cone of fire, a feature much valued by Special Forces worldwide. The Destroyer shows clear evidence of extensive hand fitting. The weapon disassembles rapidly without tools. At a reasonable combat distance, I put five holes in the target faster than I would have thought possible. This is the pistol to have if you want to end a gunfight at all costs. The gun is a keeper, and I find myself unable to send it back.
  2. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

    LMFAO!!! That was funny as hell.

    I loved this part:

    That is almost tears worthy right there. :D

  3. orangello

    orangello New Member

    LOLing at "cone of fire".
  4. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

    This just proves what I've always suspected. ;)
  5. Dzscubie

    Dzscubie New Member

    Oh My Lord C3, thanks I really needed that.. funny as hell.
  6. MB44

    MB44 New Member

    I am on the floor with stomach cramps,....

  7. CourtJester

    CourtJester Well-Known Member

    Sounds about fitting.
  8. General_lee

    General_lee New Member

    This just made my day:D
  9. freefall

    freefall New Member

    I've read a LOT of articles by that journalist. His name will come to me...