They were cute as we watched from our breakfast nook, scurrying to and fro eating bits of pecans that have fallen from our trees. They were slightly less cute when I thought, "Hey, I should harvest some pecans for a pie." with nary a pecan to be found without a mouthful taken from its meat. And now, as I have discovered that fruit actually CAN grow in DFW, with the discovery of a massive pear tree in the neighborhood, I began to get excited when my little pear sprouts began to blossom. As I shared this news with my neighbor, I was informed that he has two pear trees of his own, except those little furry bastages always nibble them off the stem prior to becoming edible. My question is this: Aside from firearms, what is the best way to murder squirrels or keep them from invading the crops? I live in the burbs, so a trebuchet is impractical, and poison doesn't seem wise with children in the house. I need some black op, freedom loving, squirrel murdering ninja something or others to solve this problem. Ideas?