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Funny Hunting Stories....

52K views 140 replies 74 participants last post by  Oldoutlaw 
#1 ·
I looked through the past 3 pages and didn't see a "Hunting Stories" thread.
So I'm hoping it hasn't been done yet.
Tell your hunting stories...

In '08's fall gobbler season I'm hunting with my friend...
We have our decoys out and my friend is using his caller. He's pretty good with it. We are using the brush as a blind. We wait and wait and wait. A Tom comes into view about 100 yards from us. My friend keeps calling him and calling him and calling him. The Tom doesn't want to come toward the decoys. My friend keeps calling him and calling him and calling him...and calling him.......and calling him. The Tom won't come into range. He won't even attempt to come our way. My friend keeps calling him and calling him and calling him...and calling him...and calling him- nothing.

So we decide to give up...we stand up out of the brush. All of a sudden the Tom takes off running towards us for about 15 yards then stops turns and runs into brush and is gone. My friend & I look at each other and shrug our shoulders.

What's one of your stories?
 
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#2 ·
duck

Whilst out shootng evening incoming duck with my brother in failing light I took a left and a right, watched the right land almost at my feet turned to see the left one heading for the back of my brothers head "duck" I shouted he quickly turned around and it hit him square in the face breaking his nose. He,s never been shooting since claiming dangerous bloody things ducks. That was 35 years ago
 
#3 ·
I started turkey hunting back in 93 so I have at least one good story for each year. This is the very first.

The season runs from Wednesday though Sunday in Wisconsin and used to close at noon. Normally you are lucky to draw one week.

That first year I blew every set-up that week. Kept trying to close the distance on hot birds instead of staying put and letting them come to me.

Saturday night I drove the 150 miles back home and a picked up my wife so she could go along on Sunday morning. Spending time in the woods with my wife is always quality time.

We got out long before light and snuggled together by a large oak tree. I brought along a large piece of camo cloth to cover my wife up with, real comfy like.

About 8 AM I had a thunder chicken shaken the leaves on the trees and closing the distance fast. Gun at the ready and all I needed was another 20 yards and then my baby started snoring real loud like.

I woke her up and told her I really enjoyed our time together in the woods that morning but I thought that we might as well go get breakfast and head home as I didn't expect that there would be much else happening the rest of the morning.

There are 20 million stories in the turkey wood and this has been just one of them.
 
#4 ·
When i was a youngster, some less scrupulous quasi-relatives would take me spotlighting for rabbits (no deer, i swear). I thought this was great fun at the time and didn't realize the deep dip we would be in explaining ourselves to the ranger were we to be caught.

That said, we did have some funny moments. The best, in retrospect, was the moment that broke me of spotlighting rabbits for good, or at least so far. I stopped to water a bush & upon picking up my shotgun & flipping on my headlamp i saw a pair of shiny eyes not 4 feet from my feet. Since i was sure the only people around were behind me, i swung the shotty over & blasted the shiny's. A strange smell engulfed me for a few moments as i realized i had just shot not a rabbit, but a skunk, in the rear. I then realized the liquid skunkiness was all over my clothes & the stock of the gun (ALL over me, hat too i bleve). When my quasi-relatives managed to both breath clean air and stop laughing (20 feet away at least), they informed me that we were too close to the trail to leave the late skunk & that i would have to move it. I got the remains with a branch & deposited them in a nearby creek, much to the dismay of a slap-happy beaver.

I haven't hunted with a light since. :eek: I think if those who violate hunting regs were hosed with skunk scent, most would surely repent their foul deeds & go forth better hunters.
 
#5 ·
Only funny story I have about turkey hunting(I have quite a few about deer hunting). I was set up in a blown down tree and had a pair of hen dekes set up in a little clearing about 30 yards infront of me. I did a few clucks and a pair of Jakes came out and were showing off for the fake ladies. I was watching the show for about ten minutes when the loudest gobble I ever heard came form right beside me. Ole big beard was about 4 feet to my right, he had come that close without me seeing him,or him seeing me both looking at the jakes. Needless to say we were both shocked at our closeness.And of course he vamossed and I had to wait awhile for my heart rate to settle down.
 
#6 ·
Only funny story I have about turkey hunting(I have quite a few about deer hunting).
wolfdog,
Your story is a funny one indeed. :D
This topic isn't just limited to funny turkey hunting stories, but all funny hunting stories in general. I just started with a turkey story because it was the one that came to mind the quickest. So please tell one of your funny deer hunting stories.

With all the hunters on this board I thought this would be a big success. :confused:
 
#7 ·
Okay, how about the time in upstate New York. We had got about 2 feet of snow over night, and had white out conditons untell about 9 am. About 10 I figure the deer are all laid up in the area we called the big pines, so I take the 4 wheeler over and park on the edge of a hay field, goning to walk back down the trail I just came in on and start still hunting up the slope into the pines. Just as I round the corner a nice buck steps out on the trail I just came down about 40 yards away. I throw up and think I have a good sight on him and pow! He rears up, tucks his tail and halls but into the hedgerow down slope from the trail. I have shot a few deer and this one acted like he was hit hard, so I figure he is as good as mine, so I go back to the 4 wheeler, light a smoke and pour a cup of coffee out of the thermos. Let him setle down for about 15 minutes, then goning to go trail him. I get to where he was when I shot and there is hair all over but no blood. Thats okay I have shot deer before that didn't drop any blood at first, so I start to trail him, I trail him all day, and never a sign of blood. I find where he bedded down, no sign of blood, no sign of breaking stride, found where he fed. no nothing. Confused I give up at dark, then we had some melt that night so when I went back the next morning I could not pick his trail back up. I don't have any idea how I could have missed and stil had all that hair on the snow. About 3 days later I was talking to the guy who had the property adjoining where I was hunting. He had dropped a nice 6 that morning and thught it was very strange that he had a strip of hair gone about 3/8 of an inch wide across his chest.
 
#8 ·
wolfdog, Good One ^^ definitely made me laugh. :)

Listen to this...

I'm hunting deer with a couple of friends. The day before we scout where we want to be. Early the next morning we go and setup before the sun comes up. About 6:50A.M. I see a 8 pointer, oh about 40 to 50 yards away from my stand. I slowly draw my rifle and KAPOW!!. The buck jumps up kicks his rear legs and runs off in the woods. I'm thinking, "yeah he won't make it far." So I wait 20 mins. so that he won't spook and lay down. As I'm waiting one of my friends comes up. We talk about the shot and I show him the blood on the ground. Now it's time to track the buck. We keep following the blood trail and following the blood trail....we come up to a swamp, we cross the swamp, the blood trail stops. :confused: We look for prints or anything else that will help-nothing. We must of tracked that buck/blood trail for 400yrds into the woods. So we're at camp that night talking about the event and another one of my friends starts to call me "wounded knee". :eek: He says "you must of shot him in the knee that's why there wasn't any blood on the other side of the swamp." Until this day when they want to ribb me they call me "wounded knee". :(
 
#9 ·
Years back, hunting with an old LEO friend. We got out early to our new hunting spot I had picked. Figured we would sit in the cab of the truck for a couple of minutes, dig out the thermos, have a cup of coffee before starting out. I mentioned to partner this looked like a really good area for deer. Joking, he said "Bet there is not a buck within 5 miles of here."

WHUMP!

That was a six point buck running full tilt into partner's door. Now laying on the ground.

Partner looked at me, without a pause, said "But I could be wrong."
 
#10 ·
My wife's supervisor (a woman) invited my wife and I to a "semi-formal" dinner with other co-workers. When we arrived, I noticed the woman's husband had a cast on his right arm, but neither my wife nor I mentioned anything about it. During dinner, the man complained about the cast hampering his ability to eat. Now mind you, here we are with seven other couples; at least one of each couple works with the lady of the house. My wife asked the obvious question "How did you hurt yourself?" The man hesitated and his wife responded that he had injured himself hunting.
"A hunting accident?" my wife asked.
"Yes", the woman replied, "He fell out of a tree on a quail hunt."
Four other men besides myself nearly choked ourselves on our drinks.
 
#12 ·
Mothers first goose hunt.

I remember a story my mother related about her first goose hunt, My folks were ranchers in Northern Nebraska in the hilly country next the Niobrara river breaks, the time was winter my folks had rented a corn field to overwinter ther stock cows on the cornstalks, the cattle could rummage for downd corn, we useally fed the cows once a day (hay and cake) and made shure they had salt/minerals and water, during evining chores they shook out some mineral in the salt box, Mom noticed some geese were hanging round the edge the corn stalks, The Canadian Geese were picking kernals of corn out the cow ****, mom was amazed the geese appeard docile, Dad said he would try and nab one and they eased the pickup slowly in the direction of the geese when 20yds distant Dad pulled to a gental stop and had Mom ease her side window down, Dad meinwhile slowly pulled the shotgun out the gun rack (back window) and made ready, very slowly sighted on a likely target and dusted off a shot takeing a nice size corn fed Canada goose, Mother related how she had always been under the impression Goose hunting involved hard ship and freezing in a cold blind wateing for some geese to come by, she wonderd why would one do that when they could easily shoot them from the heated cab of the 1/2 ton 4x4?
 
#13 ·
In My Face

This is a short story from a Collection I wrote about my adventures In Alaska in my younger yrs. Hope it isn't too long.
In My Face

My brother and I and a friend named Mike had hiked over to Keena Cove to try and get a deer. We were living at Coal Bay and had been out of fresh meat for a while. Keena Cove is a pretty good place to hunt.
There is a small valley behind the cove that was logged quite a few years back. The valley was grown up with new trees mingled with brush and the slash that was left from the logging operation. There are old logging roads about half way up the slope on both sides of the valley. The roads haven’t been used for a very long time and there are alder trees growing in the roadbeds.
We found an old Fresno road grader sitting where it had been left after the last time it was used. It was a horse drawn grader so it is pretty likely that the operation was early in the turn of the century. It was in perfect condition except for some rust. We often speculated about how we could get it out of there and sell it to some collector or museum. That never happened but I’m sure some one got it.
The preferred method to hunt Keena was to have some one up on the road to watch the clear cut and some one else to go into it and get the deer moving. Visibility was limited at ground level and from the road you could see a lot more ground.
The problem was without some one in the clear cut the deer didn’t move much; they would bed down during the day and it took some one to spook them to make them move. If you were a really stealthy hunter and very patient it was possible to walk up on one but the odds were against you.
This particular day the three of us had walked up the road on the east side of the valley. We were reluctant to go into the brush and tangle of the clear cut. I guess we were just feeling lazy that day. We sat on the side of the road just below the roadbed and watched the clear cut hoping to see some movement. It was a bright sunny day and warm for the time of year. After about half an hour I moved a little further down on the jumble of large rocks that were placed as fill on the side of the hill. I spotted a rock that looked a lot more comfortable than the one I was on.
Mike was directly above me and my brother was moving back and forth between us and occasionally throwing rocks down it the brush to try and scare a deer out of its bed. He managed to spook a few ptarmigan but not much else. They were quite a distance below. No one had a .22 or shotgun so they were safe for the moment.
I got to my rock and was making myself comfortable on it. It had a large flat area and I was thinking about how good it would be to lie down, put my coat under my head and snooze in the sun for a while. Nothing was stirring below and it was really warm in the sun. My brother finally got bored with his rock throwing and decided to scout around. Mike was sitting above me watching the valley below for any sign of deer.
The sun and boredom finally got to me and I laid my head down on my coat and was almost instantly asleep. I’m not sure how long I slept but it was long enough to make me groggy when I woke up and to drool on the front of my shirt.
I tried to come out of my sleep-induced fog and sat up. I moved up to another rock just above my napping place. I sat on it with my knees drawn up in front of me. I looked back to see Mike still sitting on the same rock like a stone carving watching and alert as ever. That man was is one of the best hunters I know. He can move through the woods like a puff of smoke and sit for hours without making a discernable move.
I couldn’t see my brother but the last time I had seen him he was going down the slope below me into the brush near the beginning of the clear cut. He was wearing a green wool halibut jacket and a black felt hat called a crusher. It was a wool felt, shapeless hat that the loggers used to wear.
As I looked over the edge of the rock fill I thought I saw the brush move a little at the very bottom of the slope. Could have been the breeze or maybe my brother moving around. Still nothing we could call meat moving around. I sat there for a while longer slowly coming out of my wakeup stupor.
I looked down again and again I thought I saw movement. It was directly below me so Mike couldn’t see it. I signaled him to look down. He gestured that he couldn’t see anything. I shrugged and went back to looking and sort of half way day dreaming. There it was again a little further up the slope; just some brush and small saplings moving a little.
I stood and carefully looked the whole area over but couldn’t see any thing. I didn’t want to call out to see if it was my brother or not because shouting isn’t really a good hunting technique. I stayed alert and on guard for a few more minutes then decided it was my imagination. The next time I saw it, it was much closer and I saw some movement and a flash of something black.
I knew then it was my brother working his way back up the slope. It was very steep below me and I wondered why he was coming up that way. I wasn’t really surprised because my brother is very hard headed; if you tell him the sun is shining he will turn on his lights. It’s like that saying: you can always tell him but you can’t tell him much. In my brother’s case you cant tell him anything.
Well the mystery was solved so I went back to scanning the clear-cut and thinking how good it would be to have some sweet venison liver for dinner.
There it was again the movement and the glimpse of something black. I was sure it was my brother but I couldn’t see into the dense brush, there it was again the movement and the glimpse of something black.
I leaned back on my elbows and my rifle was lying across my legs. There was a round in the chamber and the hammer was at half cock, which is the safe position. There was a slight rustle of brush in front of me and suddenly I was eye to eye with the biggest Black Bear I had ever seen.
I have been close to bears before but never that close; and never sitting down. He was at eye level with me and I could feel his breath on my face. I was so shocked I froze for an instant. My reflexes took over and I tried to throw my rifle up to my shoulder. Some how I got the sling tangled around my foot and wound up falling over on my back
I finally managed to sit up and bring the rifle into firing position but I was so flustered that instead of shooting I levered a live round out on the ground and another one into the chamber. By the time I found the sight picture all I saw was a huge black rump going into the brush at a high rate of speed.
I can only imagine what it looked like from Mike’s position above me. When I gained enough composure to stand up I found that my knees were very shaky and I had to sit back down for a few minutes. As I sat there I had the feeling that I had been very close to serious injury or even death.


I guess I startled the bear as much as he startled me. That isn’t always a good thing; he could have just as easily taken a bite out of my face. Bears are unpredictable especially
when you startle them. Mike was above me watching the whole scene but he couldn’t shoot because I was in his line of fire
After the adrenaline started to recede and I stopped shaking I could see the humor in it and I had to laugh at the spectacle I must have made flopping around on the ground trying to get my rifle up. We decided to call it a day and went home without any venison or bear meat thankful that I hadn’t been a late fall snack for that bear
A bear in my face was just another of those adventures I had come to expect living in this beautiful and exciting place called South East Alaska

By Ronald L Arnce
 
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#14 ·
Crazy deer attack

Ok, a few weeks ago I was playing paintball. The field I was at is kind of out there and I was noticing a lot of turkey and deer tracks while setting up the bunkers, I mean a lot of tracks. About half way through the day this psychotic deer, maybe a year and a half old doe, comes out of the woods next to the snake and starts attacking the player! The guy goes to defend himself by picking up a good size rock and giving the deer a few good blows to get it off him. We all scared the thing back into the woods and after a few minutes I go in the woods to "drain the main vain" and what would you know I see a little white belly about 30 yards into the brush. Sure enough the guy did a good number on the deer and ended up killing it.
 
#15 ·
Ok, a few weeks ago I was playing paintball. The field I was at is kind of out there and I was noticing a lot of turkey and deer tracks while setting up the bunkers, I mean a lot of tracks. About half way through the day this psychotic deer, maybe a year and a half old doe, comes out of the woods next to the snake and starts attacking the player! The guy goes to defend himself by picking up a good size rock and giving the deer a few good blows to get it off him. We all scared the thing back into the woods and after a few minutes I go in the woods to "drain the main vain" and what would you know I see a little white belly about 30 yards into the brush. Sure enough the guy did a good number on the deer and ended up killing it.
that's just mean lol
 
#17 ·
This happened to me while I was deer hunting with a friend.
1st hunt too.

We Head out to my friends hunting spot one cloudy morning. I take my 20 gauge and a Few slugs and He takes his .22. I asked Him if he thought he could take a Deer with such a small caliber. He said that he could take one with the .22 before I could with my 20 gauge, So It was sorta a bet.
We start walking along the Property, After about 2 hours and 3 miles. We See a BIG, no HUGE BUCK. I saw it first and raised my 20 gauge, had my sights right on him, Maybe 20 yards. Go to pull the trigger and my friend shoots at a squrriel.....The deer gets spooked and runs, I tried to stop my finger but I already hit the trigger.. BAM....apperantly I get lucky and Un-lucky. Lucky, I took off a Squrriels head. Not so Lucky, I was standing in a semi-wet and Slippery mud spot, and I was standing on a Slant.... The recoil of the Slug made me fall. Thank God I went back first though.... Right Into a Cow pie..... :-D YEA FIRST DEER HUNT!!!!!
 
#18 ·
single shot rifle and one eyed dog

This ain't no deer hunt, but maybe a Turkey hunt. One night while out **** huntin with out the dog and nuthin but head light. I spotted that tell tale yellow eyed cousin to the dog. I took a few more steps to get a good head shot when all hell broke loose. I had steped right in the middle of a flock of Quail. Believe you me You have to experience this once in your life when your out in the woods by your self at age 14. Any one here eat Gator. Wills in da swamp in La.
 
#22 ·
Well, second year of deer hunting, I still had no luck at ten minutes to go on the last day. Then a hear alot of noise behind me on the left side. (I'm a left handed shooter). So I looked behind me and there were 8 monster does 50 yards from my stand. But no matter how hard I tried, i couldn't draw a bead on them because of the tree and my harness. Diddnt get my first deer till last year. :/
 
#23 ·
This isn't my story, But I thought it was Funny. Its the Story of a Friend's Grandson's first Kill.
My Friends Grandson Denny. Went hunting for his first time, For his first Kill he wanted to get a buck so he could mount it. They Head out to their stand and sit all day. No deer. They walk back to their truck and Denny saw a 8 point. So he Grabs his 30-06 and Lays on the Trucks hood, Lines up his scope and Pulls off a PERFECT SHOT! But No deer fall, No Blood. When they get back to their Truck, Denny figures out what he killed. He calls to his dad to come see. His First Kill was.... The ENGINE BLOCK of their truck!
My friend said He told his Grandson to Mount that Hood In the Oak tree of their front yard.
 
#24 ·
whirley

I always wanted to go hunting. All during WW2 there was no adult available to take me. Finally, hostilities ended, my cousins came home and one was sent to bring me up to deer country in north central Pa. We wore whatever winter clothes we had, with big red patches of cloth pinned on front and back. We were going to hunt a new area. 6 by 10 miles, all private land accessible only by walking. Left the house at 2 AM, arrived there just at daylight over snow covered roads. We were armed with a winchester 32 special, my 12 gauge single barrel Iver Jhnson shotgun, then a 20 gauge single shotgun, both with rifled slugs, then a war souvenir 9mm Krag-Jorgenson and a winchester US rifle model 1917 in 30/06. Parked the car, stowed our lunches and ammunition and off we went following abandoned railroad tracks as instructed. Met three local kids dragging a buck, they only had two shells, killed the deer and were out of ammo. We resupplied them, we had plenty. Found the 40 foot gasline right of way, and turned into what was to a city boy like me, "Trackless Wilderness". Being the greenhorn, I stayed in the rear with my uncle and his .32 special. Of course, I had put one rifled slug into the shotgun, then closed the cartridge box neatly and put it deep into my pants pocket. My two oldest cousins with the 30/06 and 9mm rifles were about 300 yards ahead, then following about 100 yards behind was another cousin my age. He'd been hunting since he was 12 and had several rabbit and **** hounds. The land is typical Allegheny Plateau. Rolling hills but not much change in elevation. As we topped a rise, I heard two shots off to my left. My uncle said, "Pay attention, you might get to see some deer. A few minutes later a ten point buck and a doe suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I wanted my uncle to get a shot with his rifle, so I whispered, "Uncle Paul, there's a buck and a doe. Then I shot. Naturally, I missed, however I had whispered so loud that my cousins 300 yards away heard me. The deer started to run, leaping over brush and logs. I had missed once, my uncle missed twice, a hunter appeared from nowhere with a Model 14 .35 cal. Remington. He missed 6 times, shotgun cousin missed twice, then two rifles each shot once. The buck was down. Two bullet holes about an inch apart. That was December 1945. A nice ten point mounted deer head hangs in my camp today. There's only two of us left, but the phrase "Uncle Paul, there's a buck and a doe", still brings chuckles and happy memories of deer hunting years ago in Pennsylvania.
 
#25 ·
When I was about 16 I was out with a couple of my friends. We were all a bunch of idiots. I can't believe we are still alive today. We were hunting rabbits. We certainly should not have been. Just 3 teenagers with no adults and no licenses. Somehow the guy that was driving, (we were all standing next to the car) Sees a rabbit a takes a really fast shot...right through the drivers side window of his own car! Yea, the window was up! That's why they make people take hunter education classes these days.
 
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