Forgive me father for i have sinned

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by downsouth, Feb 7, 2013.

  1. downsouth

    downsouth New Member

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    This thread is for funny stories that would have probably landed you in some trouble atleast with your parents, boss or authority. I will start.

    I worked in a dairy processing plant while living in Oregon. Of course they had a lab there. The lab was in close proximity to the mens room. Like most mens bathrooms the urinal shares a partition with the "throne". So standing at the urinal you could clearly see a foot right there on the other side.

    One day I looked at that foot I got the idea that I thought would be funny. So I go to the lab and get the iodine squeeze bottle and go back to the urinal. I send a stream into the uninal for effect. Then I squirted the foot and all around it. Sometimes I would say, "oh crap". Sometimes I would keep whistling, sometimes I would not make any noise.

    There were a varity of responses, some of the guys rushed out ready to do battle with their pants around their knees cussing me. I would hold the bottle up and they had to laugh at themselves. Some would yell at me to watch it. All had some pretty fast foot work.
     
  2. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    That reminds me of a bathroom story of my own. We had an extended family get together at a restaurant for some reason or another. I'm in a stall and I hear the bathroom door open and that person goes into the stall next to me. I recognize my daughter's shoes so I push my foot under the divider into her stall. Then I let my foot touch hers and she quickly moves her foot away. I reach further with my foot. By now I'm done and I'm almost squatting so I can get my foot waaaay under the divider. She never says a thing to me. She leaves the bathroom and a couple minutes later I do, too. We're sitting at the table and she whispers to me. "Mom, I think the lady in the stall next to me in the bathroom was having trouble getting a tampon in or something because her foot was way in my stall, touching my foot." It took me a while to stop laughing long enough to tell her it was me. I thought she'd recognize my shoes as I did hers and that she would have known it was me. But I seldom wear 'dress shoes' so she didn't recognize them. That was several years ago and to this day we still laugh about it. [​IMG]
     

  3. od green

    od green New Member

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    Back in the day, we used to tape the small sqeezeable Iodine bottles from the passenger service kits pointed inwards towards the rim underneath the toilet seat , so when someone sat down they got a spray. Or we would cut the ends from the ammonia inhalers the kind you snap when someone passes out to wake them up, and when someone would go to the bathroom we would toss a hand full over the stall, they break very easy and the ammonia smell would run you out pretty quick !!!
     
  4. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    Ah, another story. Years ago we used to carry ammonia salts in our pockets when drawing patients. At that time I was driving a very old, very unreliable Volkswagen Squareback. And anyone who knows about VW's knows they weren't so good in the winter, particularly. I was working midnight shift and one verrry cold morning I go to my car and start it. All of a sudden I smell this icky smell. I'm thinking "Oh, great. Now there's something ELSE wrong with this car." I fret all the way home about paying for another car repair. I get home and change to get in my pajamas and get some sleep and that's when I discover the popped ammonia in my pocket. THAT'S what I was smelling. What a relief it wasn't my car. LOL
     
  5. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Foot in mouth here.! Guess you already got my "funny " for today..!

    Pardon Ms. Winds of Change ! :eek:
     
  6. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    Perfect post for the "I have sinned" thread. You are forgiven.
     
  7. dango

    dango Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    In that case , I'll be askin for that (FART)thing back so's I can use it else-ware !

    Ammunition ? :) You know , prep-er thingy..? :D
     
  8. trip286

    trip286 New Member

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    A while back, I don't remember the occasion...a year or two, maybe three...
    Got rip roaring drunk on home made wine. After many hours and several bottles, I woke the next morning to discover the chief of police (the same one who's daughter I dated for a while, and who impounded my horse and made me sleep off a good drunk in the police station), was sitting at the table, his back turned to my room, drinking coffee.

    My Mom surreptitiously motioned me to go back to my room. I pressed a glass to the door, and heard the chief asking my Mom, "are you sure your son wasn't in town last night? And he doesn't own a motorcycle?"

    Mom says no, of course. Not here, no bike. After he left, I came out and asked her what was up. Apparently someone got heavily intoxicated, did donuts on the courthouse lawn, urinated/defecated on the steps, and tore through town at over 120MPH. This person did the entire thing buck naked. On a motorcycle.

    I said, "wow, glad it wasn't me". She rolled her eyes, and told me to go to the barn and wash my step Dad's motorcycle, as she sure wasn't the one who got it muddy, and he was out of town. By the way, pay special attention to the seat... It's... Dirty.