English is now the official language of Europe

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Jo da Plumbr, Oct 13, 2009.

  1. Jo da Plumbr

    Jo da Plumbr New Member

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    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
    spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

    In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
    replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

     
  2. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    That was frikken funny right there! Nice
     

  3. hydrashok

    hydrashok New Member

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    ROFL! Zat vas fuken funy! I laft my as of!
     
  4. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    LOL, and they don't have even have to press 1.
     
  5. skariko

    skariko New Member

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    omg

    Nice one!
    I have been laughing for the past 30 mins!
     
  6. saviorslegacy

    saviorslegacy New Member

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    I finally gave up on trying to translate everything in my head and started just reading it. That was when I noticed the German accent.
    LMFAO! nice one!
     
  7. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    It's too bad English is no longer the official language of the United States. Funny story though.
     
  8. JoeParker

    JoeParker New Member

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    This is utterly hilarious ! :D
     
  9. lonyaeger

    lonyaeger New Member

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    HEY! No posting while you're driving! You're probably texting, too! (funny chit tho)
     
  10. DoyleTheDog

    DoyleTheDog New Member

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    HAHAHAHA that was great!!!
     
  11. Shihan

    Shihan Active Member Lifetime Supporter

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