Embarassing And/Or Funny Things When You Were Alone

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Vikingdad, Sep 19, 2012.

  1. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    OK, this was inspired by the "Unexplained Events" thread. I am looking for embarrassing and/or funny things that have happened to you when nobody else was around to witness it.

    This is what happened to me: One dark and stormy night (really, it was!) I was out in my rain gear clearing ditches to keep the water flowing properly, one ditch had plugged up a couple of times in this storm so I was digging a deep channel that could not plug up as easily. I jammed my shovel in the ground and out of the corner of my eye I see something move over about 5 feet to my side. I look intently at the spot for a few seconds but nothing moved, so I go back to my ditch and set my foot on the shovel, again I see something move off to the side. Stop and look to see what it is and again nothing moves.
    Enough of this, I stomp the shovel into the mud and the ground next to me explodes up and towards me like a rattlesnake striking, showering me with mud and leaves:eek::eek:. Damned near scared the crap out of me.

    Seems there was a stick buried in the mud that I was poking with the shovel which rotated the end and that was what I was seeing to the side, when I jammed the shovel into it, the whole stick popped up out of the ground.

    For just one millisecond, I think I actually thought it was a rattlesnake. never mind that it was cold, dark and wet out that night. :eek:

    I have told many people this story, but I think it was funniest to me.
     
  2. Mosin

    Mosin Well-Known Member

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    So one night I was drunk off my rear and making out with this girl at my friends house. We were going at it pretty hard, when all of a sudden, she pulls the 'I can't, it's that time of the month, blah blah blah.' so she leaves, and I'm thinking, 'fine, I'll fix this myself.'
    So I go upstairs to my friends sisters room, (we were all around 20-21 at the time) and get out a bottle of lotion... Except, there was no lotion... I unscrewed the cap the the lotion bottle, and....

    Wake up, the sun is shining, bright through the windows, birds are chirping, my friends sister and her best friend are standing over me laughing... There I am, pants around my knees, lotion bottle, lotion bottle cap lying in pieces next to me...

    Yup, embarrassing.
     

  3. Vikingdad

    Vikingdad New Member

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    Ha ha! That is truly embarrassing! I have a better one but it is too raunchy for here. Probably too raunchy for the Bunker too.
     
  4. Blueguns

    Blueguns New Member

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    When I was younger I was riding my bike around town and had to pee really bad, so instead of riding to a store, I pulled into this area by a little dry creek and started to pee.

    Well apparently I didn't put the kickstand down all the way, and it bounced/rolled 20 ft down into the creek bed. I had to call a friend to help me get it out.
     
  5. gollygee

    gollygee New Member

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    Vikingdad's story reminded me of a rattlesnake hunt I made at about 15 years old. I worked summers with my dad building houses. We were building one for a guy out in the country & he had been telling us stories about the huge rattlesnake population in that area.

    So on a subsequent trip to the job site I took my shotgun & went on a little rattle snake hunt at lunch time. I'm making my way across this pasture like area with a lot of palmetto bushes which are supposed to be one of their favorite hiding places.

    I had never encountered a rattlesnake in the wild so wasn't real sure what to expect & had a really creepy feeling about it. I heard a noise to the right & slightly behind me that was a kind of buzzing sound. It seemed I could actually feel the hair on my head stand up. I froze where I was & slowly turned my head to look. Didn't see anything. Started to move real slowly & then saw the end of a limb move in the brush, making that same noise. I was standing on the other end of it!

    Killed my desire to hunt rattlesnakes. I tucked my gun under my arm & headed back to camp. My dad asked me if I'd seen anything & I just said naw. Never did tell him that story!
     
  6. downsouth

    downsouth New Member

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    We were rafting the Rogue River back around 1989. It is a beautiful part of Oregon. There are no services in the way of bathrooms along this primitive stretch of the river. So one morning I had the urge to use the bathroom, the big job. I find a spot away and out of sight from camp around a small bend. I walk up the small yet steep hill, drop into position and do my business. As I am looking down I see a most disturbing scene. What I had just dropped was rolling downhill towards me. I shuffled downhill the best I could with my pants on the ground, the turd in rapid pursuit and gaining ground on me. Needless to say between the desire to get away from my pursuer and the downhill slope, I ended up splashing and flailing in the river with my pants down. To my horror my new position in the water put me in full view of the camp and the other members of the rafting party. It took a looong time and many other embaressing moments to live that one down.

    Moral of the story, put your *** downhill if doing the big job on a slope.
     
  7. gollygee

    gollygee New Member

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    It works real well to face downhill for the little job also.:)
     
  8. downsouth

    downsouth New Member

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    Yes, yes it does.