Draft Guys Over Sixty

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by CA357, Jan 28, 2011.

  1. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    Appropriated from another board. I've seen it before, but thought it was worth recycling.

    Drafting men over 60----this is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier


    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB.

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward Muslim terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

    How about recruiting Women over 50 ....in menopause! You think Men have attitudes! Ohhhhhh my God! If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... They'll have it secured the first night!
     
  2. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Been said here many times over and over: Never pick a fight with an old man. If he can't beat you down, he will just kill you. I believe it is the same for post-menopausal women.

    Great post as always. :)
     

  3. dunerunner

    dunerunner New Member

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  4. AcidFlashGordon

    AcidFlashGordon New Member

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    Send my old *** over there and I'll do some of that "I'm tired and pissed off so I'm just going to kill something" attitude thing. [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  5. Neophyte1

    Neophyte1 New Member

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    Bus Ready

    my knee's are bad; my back hurts; don't sleep much; really don't gripe; eye's are older? hahaha:)
    have snored a few time; like adventure lolol

    where's the bus :)
     
  6. NGIB

    NGIB New Member

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    Yeah, they could keep the running, push ups, situps and other crap; however, if they wanted us old farts for eliminating bad guys - I'm in...
     
  7. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    I would, without question, do it again in a heartbeat. But I would have to wait about 7 years to qualify for the age requirement, and I would have to have my Lane recliner air dropped in this time. :p
     
  8. opaww

    opaww New Member

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    I'll go in a blink of an eye
     
  9. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    Think of the Social Security they would save...
     
  10. ironsights

    ironsights New Member

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    I'm in, and getting up at 5 is easy after taking water pills, and skip the 20 foot wall and rope climb.
     
  11. Squirrel_Slayer

    Squirrel_Slayer New Member

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    I would hate to see my pops go, but at his age, pissed as hell as he is, and still a damned fine shot, I would be dang scared if I was Osama or any of his buddies. He'd dispatch em and still sleep perfectly sound at night.
     
  12. JonM

    JonM Moderator

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    i would go back long as i didnt have to listen to idiotic female sergeants screaming at me cuz i scratched the hand brushed CARC paint on the hmmvw after backing it into brush for overhead concealment...
     
  13. AcidFlashGordon

    AcidFlashGordon New Member

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    There's an answer to that. Just make damn sure the sergeants and squad leaders are OLDER than us. That'll make them more tired and less likely to give 2 s**ts whether or not we listen to them or not. :D :p
     
  14. Walley

    Walley New Member

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    I am quite sure that if they did put together a standing army of us old farts this country would not be in the mess it is now. I might be just speaking for myself but I really can't see older men getting to enthusiastic about putting their lives on the line for Big Oil, The Industrial Military Complex, political posturing or actions based on false information. Most of us who went through the hell of Nam realize that we got our asses kicked simply because that debacle was run by politicians just like this current insanity is. Both World Wars were won by military men not by the direction of political prostitutes in Washington. If it had been left to us old, been around the horn a few times, curmudgeons Osama Been Forgotten would have been maggot meat a long time ago. Us old farts might be slower than an eighteen year old but quite a few of us are a hell of a lot smarter or we wouldn't still be alive.
     
  15. Mema

    Mema New Member

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    I agree with all of you old farts since I live with one who also has a wife who is going through menopause. I also think you are right about the menopause thing as I am pissed off about lots of things and if you don't listen to me I would just like to shoot you.

    PS. I would say over 40 for women or I would have to wait a couple of more years. :)
     
  16. Jpyle

    Jpyle New Member

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    All that money would get spent on Poligrip, Depends and Viagra...:p
     
  17. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    [​IMG]

    I'd go, sign me up!........................Gladly because I don't have Alzheimer's yet...










    I'd go, sign me up!........................Gladly because I don't have Alzheimer's yet...










    I'd go, sign me up!........................Gladly because I don't have Alzheimer's yet...
     
  18. opaww

    opaww New Member

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    OK I have come up with a name for the 60+ army unit; we will call it the Geriatrics Forces. Not only will you get all your equipment they will also throw in free bottles of Gerrital at no cost you us. Our lapel in signet will be either cross canes or a walker.
     
  19. Daoust_Nat

    Daoust_Nat Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Will they pay for prescriptions? Hell that and the medical insurance make it a good thing.
     
  20. Hawg

    Hawg Active Member

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    I'll go but if they try to give me a wimpy assed 5.56 I'll shove it where the sun don't shine.