This is going to be a bit long. My parents spend 8+ months in Arizona every year. When I got divorced 6 years ago I moved into their house. They were getting broken into every winter, that stopped after I moved in. I pay all utilities, only thing I don't pay is the property tax. The place is actually in a trust so that when mom and dad pass everything will be divided according to their wishes. I haven't been able to redirect the tax bill to me, and Dad will not let me pay it. We have 20 acres, nearest neighbor is about a mile away. House was built in about 1885, 4 out buildings, lots of maintenance that is beyond them at 78 years old. Currently repairing some massive carpenter ant damage in the barn. Dad had a lung cancer scare 3 years ago, that involved removing 2/3rds of his right lung, along with parts of 2 ribs and his collar bone. He is indomitable, was swinging a 10 lb sledge today, with a right arm that he can't lift over his shoulder, not well but he was hitting his mark. Now for the dilemma, from my earliest memory I was taught to clean up after myself, not leave messes for other people to clean up. I have always done my own laundry, on weekdays I don't get home from work until 7:30/8:00 long after they had supper. So I cook my supper and clean up the mess. Today as we were working on the barn Dad told me I need to leave those supper messes for mom to clean up the next morning, let her do my laundry, etc. She has had both knees replaced and her ankles are pretty much screwed together after a fall. He says she needs to have something to do to get her out of the recliner. Intellectually I understand and agree with Dad, but there is a huge mental block that prevents me from dumping my messes on my elderly mother. Anybody had a similar experience? How did you resolve it?