Dickens weeps: A Tango Carol

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Benning Boy, Dec 7, 2009.

  1. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Last prose for awhile, as it can be mentally taxing.


    Tango was an angry fellow,
    Anger with pure hate
    Never once was Tango mellow,
    Angry was his fate.

    He was typing late one night,
    Whilst visiting the Forum
    Typed out "Douche" with such delight,
    That none there could ignore him.

    "Hey, go easy," J.D. said,
    "It's Christmas Eve, you know!"
    Tango laughed and shook his head
    "Ah go play in the snow!"

    J.D. typed a scary threat,
    An ominous style warning,
    "Ghosts will come to you, my pet,
    Thrice times before the morning."

    Tango drifted off to sleep,
    Until he heard a sound,
    And then not a single peep,
    Until the roof feel down.

    Standing there on Tango's chest,
    In Hawaiian shirt,
    A ghost who sure could use a rest,
    For he was old as dirt.

    "I am Cane, of Christmas past!"
    "Now grab my tropic shirt!"
    "We have to go, we'll make it fast,
    I promise, it won't hurt!"

    Into a hole, our duo flew,
    Cold and small and plain,
    A lady groundhog, sad and blue,
    Her mate, Tango had slain.

    She took a pistol from the shelf,
    Looked to the earth above,
    "Can't do Christmas by myself,
    I'll see you soon, my love."

    They left the hole, and Cane cried out,
    "I hope you f*****g hang!"
    "You're a douche, you f*****g lout!"
    Then from the hole, a bang.
     
  2. ktmboyz

    ktmboyz New Member

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    Bravo Benning Bravo :cool:
     

  3. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Ghost two.

    Cane then left him in the field
    "The next is coming soon."
    Tango's cold heart wouldn't yield,
    He just stared at the moon

    A shape appears, his teeth so white,
    "What's up?" asked Tango, "Nada,
    I'm here to take you to your fright."
    Twas Erik "Ponch" Estrada

    They hopped aboard a spectral bike
    And it warmed Tango's soul,
    Tango's inner child would like
    To be Highway Patrol,

    They pulled into the parking lot,
    Where J.D. did reside,
    There were presents, quite alot,
    As Tango peeked inside.

    "Such cool stuff," our Tango thought
    And then he understood,
    "The reason he raked in alot,
    Is for behaving good!"

    He turned to face his buddy Ponch,
    So the journey could go on,
    His heart turned cold and not so staunch,
    When he saw that Ponch was gone.
     
  4. dunerunner

    dunerunner New Member

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    BB, another epic poem? You surely have a gift!
     
  5. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Ghost Three


    Tango looked about awhile
    A huge shape came his way,
    Into his shorts, he dropped a pile,
    And nothing else to say.

    The figure stood at least six ten,
    Big and mean and dark,
    On his hip he wore a Bren,
    His souless eyes did spark.

    He pointed to a single stone
    Protruding from the sand,
    Written for our boy alone,
    The stone reads "Tango, Banned"

    Tango snapped out of his sleep,
    He knew just what to do,
    He didn't make a single peep,
    Could only find one shoe.

    To the feed store Tango hopped
    But he forgot a belt,
    His exposed Murphy froze and popped
    His running made it melt

    He hopped the feed into a field
    And left the sack, so big,
    No more rimfires would he wield,
    "Shalom, dear Whistle Pig!"

    Merry Christmas, my friends.:)
     
  6. Jo da Plumbr

    Jo da Plumbr New Member

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    You never cease to amaze me Ben!

    Well Done!
     
  7. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Your av, Blalock?:cool:
     
  8. Jo da Plumbr

    Jo da Plumbr New Member

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    My favorite martian!!!
     

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  9. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    Colloquial wisdom!
     
  10. Dzscubie

    Dzscubie New Member

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    Sooooo, does this mean we have to put up with a gentler, kinder Tango??? I don't think the world could stand that.
     
  11. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Only he can answer that.:rolleyes:
     
  12. cpttango30

    cpttango30 New Member

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    Funny but makes me feel bad for dolling out a ponch just a little bit ago.
     
  13. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    *laughing and clapping*

    Epic my friend, Dickens is indeed crying, but for joy in having his version printed first....;)

    JD
     
  14. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Well done, my brother. *tips hat*
     
  15. Shihan

    Shihan Active Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Return of Whistle Pig
    [​IMG]
     
  16. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Thank you, my friends.:)
     
  17. IGETEVEN

    IGETEVEN New Member

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    "Outstanding!!" More new classics from a very talented man indeed. :D

    [​IMG]

    Jack
     
  18. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    Well done, my firend!