Dear Mr. Norris......

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Benning Boy, May 13, 2010.

  1. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    As part of a multi-faceted plan, I am writing this open letter to you. I will neither be shaving, nor removing my Resistol except for the few hours of tortured sleep, until you find it in your heart to send me an autograph.

    I was also going to state that Mohawk is manly, but only one person voted for that, and it was probably Mohawk.

    I shall view this as my personal log, and update it daily, eating valuable bandwidth that could be used to espouse important 2nd Amendment information.

    I have been a fan since my early teens, and your guidance by example has impacted my life greatly. Growing up in a rough neighborhood, your films provided me with escapism, as well as the desire to pursue my Black Belt in Tang Soo Do.

    I have stood by you, albeit from a distance, through your greatest triumphs, as well as through the DVD release of "Forest Warrior".

    Please, Mr. Norris, just an autograph. Something that shows me that Hollywood hasn't warped the greatest martial artist that ever took a frontstance in the dojang.

    Sincerely,

    BB
     
  2. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    Would somebody send him an autograph already :)
     

  3. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    I'm not going away. I never missed an episode of Karate Kommandos.
     
  4. notdku

    notdku Administrator Staff Member

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    I don't want him to be angered so I'm going to correct you. Tang Soo Do doesn't have a black belt. They use midnight blue. Once you have reached the level of "master" you get a red stripe through it. I was 1 belt and six degrees away from it (Red Belt 2 stripe). Quitting was probably one of the dumber things I ever did, but I wanted to hang out with my friends and chase girls so... here we are.
     
  5. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    You are correct. I'm told black symbolized death, so the blue ones we got signified you were beginning over again, at a different level.

    We call ourselves black belts to avoid confusion when dealing with other styles, people not in the art, etc.

    I'm sorry to be wasting everyone's time here. If Mr. Norris would just send a sign....
     
  6. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    "Ode to Chuck Norris"

    Sitting, sobbing, fiddling,
    Like a big, bipolar Nero,
    Waiting just to hear one word,
    From his childhood hero

    Benny types a sad old poem,
    While his face is twiching,
    Hasn't shaved at all today,
    And now his beard is itching

    Oh Chuck! Oh Chuck! You are the MAN!
    Not of words, but violence!
    I see it all in classic films,
    I Tivoed "Code of Silence"

    None around can feel my pain,
    The forum members laugh,
    End my horrid misery,
    With just one autograph
     
  7. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    please!!!!!!!!:)
     
  8. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    A: It doesn't really matter, because Mr. Norris won't send Benny an autograph.:(
     
  9. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    Someone needs a little help over here! :)
     
  10. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    Poor Benning. Come here little fighter, let JD give you a hug. The Norris will come, we must will it!
     
  11. dunerunner

    dunerunner New Member

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    OK, Benning!!

    I've sent Mr. Norris a request on your behalf in an effort to stop the insanity!

    After all, what are friends for?? :D
     
  12. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    You guys are the best.:)
     
  13. spittinfire

    spittinfire New Member Supporter

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    Benning, has your wife been holding out on you? You're starting to scare me.
     
  14. Gojubrian

    Gojubrian New Member

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    Benning,

    I'm a big fan of Chuck Norris too!! Do you want to compare memorabilia? Do you have (almost)ALL of is movies on DVD as well as all seasons of Walker 'Texas Ranger'?

    Did you watch World Combat League religiously? Are you registered at their website?

    Did you know that he is a devout christian and conservative, like me?

    His movies got me into martial arts as well, but yes, our bets are black. :D

    I'd like an autograph too Mr.Norris.

    BTW, any doofus can order an autographed whatever from his website.


    Chuck Norris Official Website

    Did you like The Hitman?
     
  15. notdku

    notdku Administrator Staff Member

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    This is true, but it wouldn't be epic, or amusing, just a dude buying another dudes signature. Nothing fun about that.
     
  16. WDB

    WDB New Member

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    Real men don't buy autographs! Thats like going hunting at the Zoo! Where's the sport in that?

    You can do it BB, The great hunt for the Chuck Noris autograph.
     
  17. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    The earliest movie I have is "Breaker Breaker".

    I have the whole first season of WCL on DVD. I wish Versus would pick up season 2.

    I am not a Christian, but I would consider it. An autograph might sway me.

    I'm not buying one, Brian. I believe he will send me one.
     
  18. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    My beard is now at the prickly stage, my wife won't kiss me.

    My co-workers are concerned about the hat. My patients are laughing at me.

    You're a mean one, Mr. Norris.
     
  19. Gojubrian

    Gojubrian New Member

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    Have you emailed him, looked him up on facebook, etc?? :eek:
     
  20. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    I am too shy.:eek: