Country Colloquiallisms

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Benning Boy, May 6, 2009.

  1. Benning Boy

    Benning Boy New Member

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    Inspired in part by the old guy (whom I'm convinced is Cane) in the stellar Walker Texas Ranger series, and by HillBilly in the Bunker (viewable only to supporting members, won't you join today?), share your favorite. I'm curious just how many people speak this way.

    My entry:

    Well dip my butt in cream and squat me in a room full of kittens.

    Top that.
     
  2. Jo da Plumbr

    Jo da Plumbr New Member

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    More fun then a butt load of gerbils.
    from Richard Gere's home town
     

  3. cobraman

    cobraman New Member

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    Shakin' like a dog sh*ttin' peach pits
     
  4. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
     
  5. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    I’m as anxious as a one-eyed cat watching two rat holes.
     
  6. mrm14

    mrm14 Active Member

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    How about: Crazier that a shat house rat. And: More crooked than a dogs hind leg pissin' in the snow.
     
  7. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    "It's comin' up a bad cloud." (thunderstorm is coming)
     
  8. mrm14

    mrm14 Active Member

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    Also: Raining like a double cu*ted cow pissin' on a flat rock.
     
  9. WDB

    WDB New Member

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    Crazier than a bag of squirls

    On it like a fat kid on a donut

    Dumb as a box of rocks

    Stressed as a one legged man in a azz kicking contest
     
  10. mrm14

    mrm14 Active Member

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    Or: On it like a duck on a June bug.
     
  11. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    Swelled up like a tic on the back of a dog.
     
  12. Minionsram

    Minionsram New Member

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    Nuttier than squirrel shiet
     
  13. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    She was so tall she could hunt geese with a rake.
     
  14. Bill of Ojai

    Bill of Ojai New Member

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    Slicker than snot on a doorknob.

    He's all hat and no cattle.
     
  15. hillbilly68

    hillbilly68 New Member

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    "All stoved up" - means one has stiff joints

    "hotter than a fresh f'd fox in a pepper patch" - means it is rather warm outside today

    "she is ugly as a mud fence" - the young lady is rather unattractive

    "happier than a three p**kered billy goat" - one feels overjoyed at the current situation

    "you wouldn't be able to hit us in the a$$ with a big red apple" - a variation of the aforementioned billy goat happiness, however this one applies exclusively to two individuals, not one

    "he needs to keep his loose change in his pocket" - he really shouldn't go around talking about his personal troubles to everyone
     
  16. zhuk

    zhuk New Member

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    I've always liked the colourful local expression

    "As ugly as a hatful of arseholes"
     
  17. canebrake

    canebrake New Member

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    Or,

    That’s about as handy as a pocketful of paper azzholes.
     
  18. falseharmonix

    falseharmonix New Member

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    Busier than a cat covered in $hit....
     
  19. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Red on the noodle like the pecker on a poodle. = not very swift and cocky
     
  20. bobbyb13

    bobbyb13 New Member

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    more

    Worthless as tits on a boar hog=lazy
    Well, don't that just tear the rag off the bush=surprise
    I'll be dipped in horse$hit=disgust
    That man would climb a tree backwards to tell a lie= BS artist.
    Dumber than a bag of hammers=dumb