Corrupt-A-Wish

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by Dillinger, Jun 15, 2009.

  1. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    Okay, with all the clever and witty folks we have around here, I can't BELIEVE we don't have Corrupt-A-Wish going!!

    Here's the deal - I post a wish that I would like. "I wish I had a mojito"

    You come along and trash my wish by corrupting it into a disaster.

    "Your 3 mojito lunch ends with you wrapping your vehicle around a power pole and a trip downtown to share a cell with bubba"

    Then you post a wish that someone else gets to mess with - and then back and forth Wish trashing ensues for hours of joy and merriment. :D

    "I Wish I had a 20 pound box of US Dollars"

    JD
     
  2. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Yea, with the falling state of the US Dollar and the current economy, you'd be better off with 20 pounds.


    I wish I could take a cruise to Alaska.
     

  3. Jo da Plumbr

    Jo da Plumbr New Member

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    That much cash will have the IRS breathing down your neck. They will assume it’s drug money and the ATF will be investigating you. They will call the office of homeland security to check if you’re a terrorist. HLS will not investigate, just arrest your azz and send you to Gitmo for Waterboarding. Obungho is closing Gitmo so you will be shipped off to Pakistan to have the truth tortured out of you. Then when you are a broken empty shell you will be sent out on the streets to be beheaded by the Talliban.



    I wish I could spend the night with Heidi Klum
     
  4. Samples.32

    Samples.32 New Member

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    Not being allowed to carry guns on the boat? Then someone smuggles one and you all get shot.

    I wish I could go to the beach next week.
     
  5. Dillinger

    Dillinger New Member

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    Skull - Your cruise goes well enough, until you come down with food poisoning from the shrimp left out too long on the buffet and you spend the majority of the trip in your stateroom getting deeply in touch with your insides and admiring how small of a space is really required for a toilet a shower and a sink. :eek:

    Jo Da - Your wish is granted. You and Heidi have a nice dinner and then retire to her room where she informs you that her husband Seal will be joining the two of you and since she is recovering from the most recent pregnancy, her doctor has advised against intercourse, but her husband is MOST ANXIOUS to, ah, meat you..... :eek:


    I wish I hadn't eaten that whole thing of teriyaki for lunch.... *urp*
     
  6. Jo da Plumbr

    Jo da Plumbr New Member

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    You go to the beach but when you’re in the water you get stung by a jellyfish. You don’t go to the doctor despite everyone telling you to because you are a hard headed tough chick. You go into anaphylactic shock and the lifeguards call the paramedics. The paramedics come and take an electrocardiograph thereby removing your bikini top. The lifeguards have a film crew there and we all get to see your boobs


    I wish I could be a professional golfer
     
  7. suprdave

    suprdave New Member

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    The PGA decides to let you in, but they make you wear those hideous pants that John Daly likes...Yeah the exact pair....butt-sweat and all!

    I wish I had a year's supply of beer.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2009
  8. Yunus

    Yunus New Member

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    You get your wish and since it's free you can't control your craving. Within a month you are jobless, within 4 months your family kicks you out. The contest you won specified they would only deliver to a residence. 4 months into your year supply you violate the terms of your winnings and lose out on your last 8 months of beer. Oh yeah your jobless and your family hates you to.

    I wish I owned my own plane.
     
  9. orangello

    orangello New Member

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    [​IMG]
    enjoy :D

    I wish i had my own private island, fully uhhhhh vegetated. :D
     
  10. ktmboyz

    ktmboyz New Member

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  11. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    So you are Canebreak. What you don't know is that he is a self-loathing, neighbor hating dog. You wake up one day and realize that age has enlarged your prostate to the size of a basketball. You can't pee, but you try so hard that you pop some blood vessels in your eyes so you can't see. No use having some cool arse Colt 1911's and one bad arse Fernirr .460 that you can't shoot any more. So in your own self pity you decide to sit outside and just waste away. The iguanas realize that you can't see, and they slowly take you down, bite by bite. The next time your lovely daughter comes to visit, she finds you nothing but a skeleton sitting in fossilized crap. She takes your pistols and runs off with a scum bag and lives the rest of her life robbing banks with your guns to feed her boyfriend's heroin habit.

    What, too much? (no offense Cane, my brother)


    I wish I was Superman.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2009
  12. WDB

    WDB New Member

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    Granted you are Superman but you should have read the fine print as you are now have the lead in a gay porno. Superman takes on all at gitmo.

    That might be too much...sorry SC

    I wish I were President of the United States
     
  13. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    (not too much, spirit of the thread, imo)

    You are the President of the US, but congress has an anti majority and BO's Supreme Court appointments make you the homeless guy down the street. Your hands are tied no matter how hard you try. You end up putting in your notice after only 2 years in office. A nasty woman comes forward and claims that her kid is yours. Your political career is ruined, but you leave the country with some hot babe and you are never heard from again.

    I wish I had the money to leave the country only to be never heard from again. :D
     
  14. Ubergopher

    Ubergopher New Member

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    Done, you die on a mountain climbing trip in the Andes that you paid for with every last penny, because you told no one your plans and you recently moved and quit your job, no one notices you left.

    I wish I could lost 15 pounds.
     
  15. Yunus

    Yunus New Member

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    Which requires a surprising small amount of money. As your private plane takes off (see my wish at the end of page 1) your plane crashes into the sea due to poor airworthiness but you survive. However before your rescue sharks are able to take your feet below the ankles, then your wrists followed by your nose. The next thing they take is your left eye followed by the right. Lastly your tongue is taken, leaving you mute and never heard from again. However your ears remain perfect so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears.
    PS: Obama uses you a poster child for government sponsored health care as you lacked private insurance. You are unable to say anything against this and are taken around the country as the symbol and proof of the success of the democratic liberals across the country.
    (ok, maybe to far :) )

    "To the pain - Princess Bride"

    I wish I could live forever.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2009
  16. Yunus

    Yunus New Member

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    You beat me to posting while I was typing, YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY!!! :)

    You lose your 15 pounds but are unable to stop. Over the next several months you continue to lose weight until Nicole Richie has an intervention on your behalf but alas it is to late and you die a horrible death due to starvation.

    I still wish I could live forever.
     
  17. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Snot bubble laughing right there! I am still laughing, and that is no joke!! :D
     
  18. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Ok, you live forever. You witness the globalizaton of Socialism. Centuries past the Obama World States collapse, you witness the Revolution of the Man Hating Women. All vaginas are sewn shut. Eventually, there are no women available to fonicate and reproduce. Humans die out, and you decide that dolphins are pretty...


    I wish I had 3 more wishes...
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2009
  19. WDB

    WDB New Member

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    Dam pretty much how I visioned my polititical career :eek:
     
  20. skullcrusher

    skullcrusher New Member

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    Ok, you get to lose 15 pounds, but it is in elephantitus of the nuts. Each nut grows to 7.5 pounds each. You lose the weight by castration. Unick you be not, but are so.


    I still wish I had 3 more wishes. :)