Confession

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by CA357, Dec 29, 2012.

  1. CA357

    CA357 New Member Supporter

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    Gleefully stolen from another board:

    A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

    The little boy says, “Dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it is.” Boy – “I have a baseball.” Man – “That’s nice.” Boy – “Want to buy it?” Man – “No, thanks.” Boy – “My dad’s outside.” Man – “OK, how much?” Boy – “$250″

    In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy – “Dark in here.” Man – “Yes, it is.” Boy – “I have a baseball glove.” The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?” Boy – “$750″ Man – “Fine.”

    A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.” The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?” Boy – “$1,000″ The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

    They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, “Dark in here.” The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”
     
  2. JSStryker

    JSStryker New Member

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  3. kytowboater

    kytowboater Active Member

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  4. texaswoodworker

    texaswoodworker New Member

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    LMAO!!!! That was awesome. :D
     
  5. Mosin

    Mosin Well-Known Member

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    I actually lol'd. Very good.
     
  6. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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  7. c3shooter

    c3shooter Administrator Staff Member

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    good one! Another-

    Guy goes into the confessional- and is surprised. There is a Lazyboy recliner, a bar, a smoking stand with some really good cigars, and a nice pair of slippers.

    The priest comes in, and the parishioner say "Gee, Father- I have not been to confession in years- this sure has changed."

    Priest says, "Get out. You're on MY side."
     
  8. Daoust_Nat

    Daoust_Nat Well-Known Member Supporter

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  9. Sonic82

    Sonic82 New Member

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    Had to let wifey read it!!:D
     
  10. Sonic82

    Sonic82 New Member

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    We'll see how this goes over...

    A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

    He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow
     
  11. fupuk

    fupuk New Member

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    All of them are good.
     
  12. Sonic82

    Sonic82 New Member

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    A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one
    carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

    A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk .

    The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

    He replied, "They had avocados."