Carry Advice

Discussion in 'The Club House' started by txpossum, Jul 10, 2013.

  1. txpossum

    txpossum New Member

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    I just took a summer job as a life guard, and need advice on how to carry either my Taurus Judge or my .44 mag Desert Eagle in my bathing suit. It has to be concealed, as I don't have a carry license because I'm still on parole from that unfortunate incident at the Tupperware convention, but since I've been self-medicating with street drugs the neighbor's dog told me I'm a lot calmer.

    I haven't been able to practice much recently, but I do have a lot of experience with firearms from playing call of duty -- much better than a shooting range, as you can do it sitting down and eating pizza with a 12 pack of malt liquor. (Hey, does anyone know what these green pills are?)

    Although sometimes it does get sorta lonely here in the basement, and I wish I could find a cute female who's into guns to come over and rack my slide . . . hello, yellow pills . . . where was I?

    Seriously, where was I? Todays been sort of a blur . . . is it Thursday yet?
     
  2. Dearhunter

    Dearhunter Supporting Member Supporter

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    Well, I always do what the voices tell me to do!!:)
     

  3. txpossum

    txpossum New Member

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    I used to be schizophrenic, but we're much better now.
     
  4. DFlynt

    DFlynt New Member

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    The real question is why do you have your Speedo on backwards? :eek::eek::p:D
     
  5. txpossum

    txpossum New Member

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    After a few days I turn it around and I get another week before having to wash it.
     
  6. steve666

    steve666 New Member

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    Carrying while wearing a bathing suit shouldn't be a problem, it's not like you had anything to get in the way.:eek:
     
  7. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    Depending on what brand of swim suit you have could determine which firearm you can conceal.

    Speedo's have a way of displaying (or printing) if you get the wrong materiel or size.
     
  8. DFlynt

    DFlynt New Member

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    Was gonna ask if you then turned it wrong side out for another weeks wearing? :eek::eek::eek::eek:
     
  9. DFlynt

    DFlynt New Member

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    What's the proper method of concealed carry if you are wearing a banana hammock? :eek::D:D
     
  10. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    I made a promise to the American Dairy Association never to reveal pictures of me in my Speedo's

    (The cows see it and are jealous. Like any other union, they go on strike and quit producing.)
     
  11. Bevo

    Bevo New Member

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    Very high quality trolling OP! Well played.
     
  12. winds-of-change

    winds-of-change The Balota's Staff Member

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    Can you see where this guy is carrying? This picture was taken in Jamaica.

    [​IMG]
     
  13. danf_fl

    danf_fl Retired Supporter

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    Winds, that is an old picture taken when I was a few pounds lighter.

    How did you get a copy?
     
  14. JW357

    JW357 New Member

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    Those guns print a bit much if you ask me. I'd go with a 12 gauge. Or just mount a Gatling gun on your lifeguard tower.
     
  15. DrumJunkie

    DrumJunkie New Member

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    You're man enough to conseal those gats yo yoo R da man!


    In my experience as a spec ops operator at one of the nations largest multi-point retail outlets your best err on the side of the larger. Get a Jewish afro wig and a Magnum PI mustache and change your name to John Homes Hasselhoff. No one will question the weapon printing as they will think it's your....weapon.;)

    The big question is where will you acquire flesh tone paint to camo the trauma plates?....Sumo suit???:confused:
     
  16. TekGreg

    TekGreg Lifetime Supporting Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Prisoners have a way of carrying when they are incarcerated that has absolutely no printing, but the Vasoline required to fit the Desert Eagle might run you into real debt. Draw time is a tad on the slow side as well. :eek: :eek: :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2013
  17. texaswoodworker

    texaswoodworker New Member

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    44 magnum? What are you, a pansy?

    Go big or go home.

    45-70

    [​IMG]

    :D :p
     
  18. TekGreg

    TekGreg Lifetime Supporting Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Uh-oh, there's going to be a national Vaseline shortage...
     
  19. yazul42

    yazul42 Active Member Lifetime Supporter

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    I would check with the " So-Co " guy,,,, I believe that was him in the earlier photo,,,,,,, he may have some helpful hints.
     
  20. gr8oldguy

    gr8oldguy New Member

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    just paint your guns the color as your swimsuit and no one will notice. that was an easy one!